William Gaddis - J R

— Like that? another crash, — already got trouble what the hell do you think I’m kicking it for.

— You want me to call a cop?

— Police! Like that? the figure recovered balance from a final kick. — Police…! he broke from the shadows waving a rolled newspaper — call them myself sue your God damned railroad for theft of services, witness right here saw the whole thing.

— But, but Mister Gibbs what…

— Who? he caught a hand at the window grating, — Bast! what the hell are you doing here.

— Well I, I just got off the train and…

— So did I God damned lucky we’re alive.

— But I thought you were with Mrs Joubert was she, is she here?

— Where! where!

— No, no I meant…

— Better get him out of here buddy, came from behind the grating where the hand slid down to rest on the sign promptly followed by a sagging scrutiny.

— Teets. Want to give you a message for Agent Teets, Bast.

— Get him out of here buddy.

— Next time you see Agent Teets Bast God damned eavesdropper watch out for him, loyal friend but a cunning and dangerous enemy walk over his God damned grandmother why they got him behind bars here theft of service Bast, civilized conversation get over here where he can’t hear us God damned eavesdropper, watch out for him…

— Yes but, Mrs Joubert is she all right?

— Momentary recovery Bast, got inhaled each momentary recovery thought I had a newspaper.

— It’s under your arm yes but was she, what happened…

— Got lost in the dark caverns of her throat Bast, bruised by the ripple of unseen muscles ought to be ashamed of myself, told me I should apologize to you how’s that.

— Well no but that’s not what I…

— Told me you’re talented sensitive purpose Bast sense of purpose need help and encouragement lock yourself in write nothing music, take defeat from any brazen throat get to be like Bizet only not Bizet where the God damned doors… he hunched as though with cold, hands buried in pockets — dum dum dedum…

— Over here yes, but…

— Don’t spit upon the, garden path lead the whole God damned wait, Bast? Something I’m supposed to give you these right here she forgot to give me wait, forgot to give them to you here.

— But what are they, why…

— Kiddies’ train tickets here.

— But, no but this one says combined number five, seventh race what…

— Call that train tickets?

— No that’s what I…

— Eight to one broke at the God damned gate here, what are these.

— Wait you’re dropping, they’re train tickets but what…

— Just told you they’re train tickets didn’t I? Told you she said give them to you forgot to give them to you didn’t I?

— Yes but, but you were on that same train with these tickets?

— What train.

— This train the one we just, the four seventeen the one we…

— Four seventeen what I just told you didn’t I?

— Yes well yes but these tickets if you’d given them to me I…

— Four seven God damn it Bast four seventeen what she told me wasn’t it? Told me get the God damned four seventeen give you these God damned tickets Bast need help andcouragement from any brazen throat? Got the four seventeen didn’t I? Gave you the God damned tickets didn’t I? All you stand here and complain?

— No but what I meant was…

— Go around tell everybody you need help andcouragement break their God damned neck for you try to set their cracker on fire any way to behave?

— No but, wait there’s a key here Mister Gibbs it’s mixed up with these tickets you, here…

— That’s a key Bast.

— I know it yes, here.

— Place of stone Bast one flight up, how hard a path the going down and going up another’s stair told me you need help andcouragement, sensitive purpose lock yourself in write nothing music how’s that.

— No but it’s your key, here…

— Sitting right there Bast heard her say you need a place to work give all your time to composing, heard her say that’s quite outrageous really.

— No but she, I have a place Mister Gibbs I don’t really…

— Told me you need help andcouragement place to work Bast God damndest person to help andcourage I ever met, give you those God damned tickets get the God damned four seventeen apologize to you give you place of stone supposed to be in there working all you stand here and complain, number on the tag right up on Ninety-sixth Street see the number? Place of stone supposed to get in there and exult even throw in a piano how’s that, laughing fring whereon mad stringers told me Joan of Arc voices she heard? If not you, who. If not now, when, told me your talented sensitive purpose Bast take help and couragement from any brazen throat here… he seized a shoulder for support, took the key by the tag strung to it to drop in the breast pocket where he sagged for closer scrutiny. — Clever idea Bast tell you make a clean breast? Of all things known…

— What’s, oh that’s no that’s just… he jammed it into the pocket — if I can help you Mister Gibbs, if you’ll just wait here a minute I want to cash in these tickets…

— When Bast! When…! the door shuddered with a kick.

— No if you’ll just wait for a minute Mister Gibbs I…

— If not you, when! and the door banged as he turned for the grating.

— Say ah, hello? I just want to turn in these tick…

— Closed.

— Yes but, but you’re right here couldn’t you just…

— Closed can’t you see the clock?

— Yes well, well then when are you open.

— Can’t you see the sign…? Over penciled-in Os and 9s lipsticked lettering spelled suck and he turned at a sudden trot, hit the door hard and pulled it open.

— Oh hi Mister Bast. Was that Mister Gibbs yelling police just now?

— Yes but he, where is he did you see him?

— Around there, there’s this bar around there where he goes… the load shifted, — you walking home?

— Yes but, but why didn’t you get the bus.

— I just thought I’d wait up for you, how come you got more train tickets.

— I didn’t, he just gave them to me and I tried to turn them in but that agent says he’s closed so I can’t pay you right back but…

— There’s no big rush hey! did you see that?

— What.

— That lightning, boy it got real dark didn’t it? You in a hurry?

— Yes.

— Mister Bast? Could you wait up a second? Ijust have to fix this here shoelace… he’d crouched jackknifed over his armload, a sneaker mounting the curb that checked the rampant advance of grassgrown cracks stemming from the empty concrete shell of the Marine Memorial Plaza where a disabled French machinegun and a vacant flagpole held off the sky. — Boy it looks like we both need shoes, right? he finished with an urgent tug — holy, shit…

— And look will you please stop…

— No but it broke again, you know what I was thinking on the train hey? he came on righting his load, hurrying alongside — like I have this thing which what it is is it’s this selling outfit where what you do is you send in and they send you all these different shoes which you get to wear them around so people can see them, you know? See that’s how you sell them, see? I mean not the ones you’re wearing right off your feet but like you take their order and then you make this commission, you know? Like it says you can make a hundred dollars a week in your spare time and you get to wear these shoes around too, you want me to find it?

— No.

— Okay but I have this other thing about have your own import export business right from your Own home, you know? Maybe you could do that… they crossed a rutted bog opening on a dirt road. — Would you want to do that? Mister Bast?