William Gaddis - J R

— Yes well I was working there and I…

— What, like you write?

— Music yes I, I write music…

— Like you just come here to work? I mean why don’t you sit down, you’re standing there holding that little suitcase like you’re selling something, like I mean you don’t really live here, right?

— Well I’ve been staying here while I worked on, something I’ve been working on, he said cornering on Hoppin’ With Flavor! beside her moccasin, — just to be alone so I could work on…

— What, you sit up here with all these boxes and write this music? Like I mean where do you sleep.

— Well right there where I, where you’re sitting, I…

— With all these fucking pencils sticking in you like some Indian faker man, I mean you must be stoned before you dare to lie down on it.

— Well, no, no I usually…

— I mean like those footprints going right up the shade back there man.

— Yes I’ve, I’ve wondered how those…

— Man like right up the wall really stoned… she came down to one elbow on the sofa, gaping her denim front between the white buttons. — You eat out?

— No here I, I usually eat here, I…

— Where. I mean the kitchen in there is so full of boxes and lampshades and everything you can’t even find the stove.

— No it’s right under there but there’s no gas, so I just use the oven to…

— Like I didn’t even eat lunch.

— Oh, oh well I could make you a cup of tea if you…

— No I mean eat man, like that’s all you’ve got a cup of tea?

— Right now yes but I thought I’d go out and get some cup…

— Have you got any bread?

— No but I thought I’d go out and get some cupca…

— Like even two dollars… she came upright, — there’s that A and P up at the corner like we could get a pizza.

— Well, two dollars, he said standing, digging into a pocket, — here’s one and I…

— Like I mean just to get me through the checkout, okay? She stood to pull on the long raincoat. — What do you carry money in your sock?

— No it’s, I have a hole in my pocket and the coins drop down my trouser leg…

— Man, I mean…

He fitted the door back into place behind her and stood, swallowed, went over and tried the hot water tap till his hand went white against it, finally stood back from the rush of water to look into the rusting cookie tin propped above it for a moment, swallowed and cleared his throat past 24-One Pint Mazola New Improved to pull the aging blanket loose and gather pencils, thrust points up in the tomato soup can, before he smoothed it carefully and sat to comb the mail heaping Grynszpan separate, stood to straighten the askew blind, to turn on the light in the punctured lampshade and try to round its creases, stare at the Baldung and finally stand it atop 2-Ply Facial Tissue Yellow with a deep swallow. When the door shuddered again he was by it tearing open the package from the hall. — Rhoda? is, wait…

She stepped in over it. — Like what did you get for Christmas.

— Oh it’s just ah… he squared round the green volumes, — it’s Thomas Register of American Manufacturers, I…

— Of what? She put a bag on the floor, balanced the flat box from under her arm on a pile of film cans, — I mean you must be kidding.

— No it’s really just, I think they were just sent to me by someone I’ve been doing some work for for, for reference…

— I thought you said you write music, she said holding the raincoat wide to come up with small tins and jars from depths of pockets.

— Yes I do yes, yes this business is, this business work is just something I’ve been doing to help pay…

— Hey the sink, quick!

— What…

— I mean its coming over the side quick… The raincoat dropped to the floor, — like we both could drownd in here man…

— No I’ll get it, he hesitated, grabbed a coathanger from the dishrack and thrust it in, — just something got, stopping the drain…

— Like what about the floor…

— Yes there’s a, a mop back there by the window behind those shades and things I, I think I threw it there one night, he said working the coathanger, watching her tight denims breach the lampshades, mount the bank of Morning Telegraphs and scale Appletons’—right near the window, I…

— Wait look there’s somebody over there in, oh wow.

— What? did you…

— Oh wow…

— What? He came up with a sodden wad on the end of the coathanger and stood looking at her spilled toward the sill there under the shade. — Did you…

— Man like his underpants come down and it’s standing up like this poker…

— The, the… what? and the wad dropped back into the water and sank as the coathanger followed.

— Like now he just drops them on it like it’s this big coathook and, wow…

— But… lampshades went down in a heap as he cleared the Morning Telegraphs. — But what… he reached Vol III GRIN-LOC beside her, — who… staring into the dark maw yawned at them across the airshaft, — who…

— Like man I thought by now these chicks that go down were all in the movies you know?

— I, I no I…

— But like I mean what beautiful ass.

— Yes I… he cleared his throat, — it…

— Like how her cheeks hang where they part how high and round, you know? I mean like I have these bulges in here… she brought up a knee to squeeze a full roll of denim — you know? Like I’d give anything for her ass, you know?

— Yes well no I… his hand brushed a closing knee and he cleared his throat, — but I’m sure your…

— I mean like with that ass she could really model you know? Like I was trying this modeling a while when I thought if I could get like on the cover of like Vogue I’d really have it made, I mean like before I got my nose done they always had to shade it in here see? See? Along here?

— Oh, oh yes, yes…

— And photograph me from just this certain angle on account of like shadow, you know?

— I see yes, yes your, but your nose is certainly…

— And then like they’re always telling me my tits were too big for how tall I am, you know?

— Yes but I’m sure they didn’t mean to be uncompli, that just because skinny fashion models were, were in fashion… he was half over on Vol II CRA-GRIM looking abruptly down from the window to the denim gaps straining her white buttons, — because your, you’re certainly well proportioned for…

— I mean like did you just see hers? they’re like just little and round?

— No I, I saw she had long black hair but…

— Like I mean they don’t hang like mine, and these very pointy like clear nipples but mine spread all out like, you know?

— No but, but I’m sure your…

— What are you doing.

— Oh, oh nothing I…

— So like I thought I had this big chance when I got hit in this revolving door of this big office building and I told them I’m this model, okay? So I get enough out of them to like settle so I can go get my nose fixed by, come on what do you think you…

— No no I just, I was just going to say I think you’re… he straightened up, — I think your, your breast…

— Like I mean just don’t fuck around, okay?

— Yes I, I’m sorry, I…

— No come off it, I mean like don’t be sorry man just don’t fuck around.

— Yes well I, I…

— Like I mean I just don’t feel like screwing, okay?

— Well, well yes okay…

— And like you better go back and look at your sink, I mean it’s coming over the side again…

— Oh, yes okay… he slid off the volumes, over the bank of papers to push past lampshades and pull back a sleeve.

— Wow like too much, he just put her… wait man you know who that is over there?