William Gaddis - Carpenter's Gothic

— You are.

— What? I said do you think Edie even…

— I don't know anything about it Paul. We just talked about Cettie, she told me Celtic's been in a horrible accident, burns and just, just all too terrible…

— Who Cettie who.

— His daughter! Senator Teakell's daughter, she's been…

— You mean you know her? you know his daughter?

— I just told you, we were all best friends at Saint Tim's, she…

— No now wait, wait… he came through brandishing the dripping fork — listen. Get next to Teakell we're out of the woods, could she put in a word?

— Could, what do you…

— Teakell Liz, Teakell, one word from him and we're out of the woods… he caught the bite off the fork, chewing — what I've been talking about for a week, this hole Ude's got himself in with the networks can't pay his bills and they're trying to push him off the air, what I've been talking about raising some investment he's trying to set up his own satellite tv operation and there's Teakell holding these hearings on broadcast licensing, his own hand picked man running the FCC Liz do you think she could talk to him?

— Think, who could…

— This daughter, you just said you knew his…

— I said she's in the hospital she's covered with burns! They flew her down to that burn center in Texas they don't even know if she'll live!

— Well you, then he'll probably visit her there maybe she can put in a, Liz? He came after her waving the fork — where you…

— I don't know where I'm going! She was backed against the sink, — that she's lying there in agony all you can think of is putting in a word, you don't think of her of, you don't know what it must be like lying there in a hosp…

— Wait Liz. Wait… His glass came down hard on the table, emptied again, — you know how long I laid there? How many weeks I laid there blown right up the gut watching that bottle of plasma run down tubes stuck in me anyplace they could get one in? Couldn't move my legs I didn't know if I had any, God damn medic breaks the needle right off in my arm taped down so it can't move can't reach down, dare reach down and see if my balls are blown off, my balls Liz! I was twenty two!

— No I don't want to talk about it… She tore off a paper towel, got no further than twisting it between one hand and the other still backed against the sink there — I, I'm tired Paul I'm going upstairs, I'm sorry the broccoli…

— No it's fine, wait… He speared a dispirited flower, — I get any calls?

— You asked me that Paul, I told you Reverend Ude called, he…

— Why didn't you tell me, been trying to reach him about that story in the paper did he see it?

— That's why he called, to ask if you'd seen it, he…

— Just told you Liz, I put it there.

— You? put it there?

— I placed it, what this whole thing's all about, I go in there as a media consultant get him in the public eye nation-wide's what I've been talking about, get in there and do the job where is it, have you got it?

— It's here somewhere, I brought it home but why you'd want to get him in the public eye nationwide with a story about…

— Can't you see Liz? can't you understand? Networks trying to push him off the air I get him some exposure in the print media shows these politicians like Teakell the support Ude's got out there in the boondocks thirty, forty million of them Liz they vote. Born agains, creationists, two seeds in the pod Baptists working on an Israeli tie in with these Jews for Jesus even got a few snake handlers from West Virginia every God damn one of them's a vote you think Teakell doesn't know that? Election year down their throats you think every God damn politician in sight doesn't know it? Not one political pie Teakell's thumb isn't into, Intelligence Committee Agriculture Armed Services he's got more seniority than Rip Van Winkle, keeps his name on the front page out there fighting Marxism with his Food for Africa program here's Ude moving in with his Africa missions, Voice of Salvation radio spreading the gospel all the same God damn thing Teakell knows where the votes are. One word from him Ude's satellite transmission gets off the ground where's the paper, get that newspaper story thought I'd give it to Adolph see if he can get past Grimes where is it, where's the paper.

— It's, I'll find it but I can't imagine what you think you're getting past Mister Grimes honestly, why you called him Edie said you'd called him, she said you called him about Longview about taking over Long…

— What I'm talking about Liz God damn it what I've been talking about! Been talking about investment haven't I? Raising investment? Adolph the banks all of them trying to get the estate settled? There's Longview down there soaking up money sixteen hundred acres of it, main house twenty four rooms five outbuildings twelve counting the slave quarters, turn those into guest cottages you could put up a hundred visitors, hold conferences turn that carnage barn into a media center, put in a movie theatre get his broadcast licensing approved set up his global transmission system what the whole thing's all about, Liz. This Bible school he's got going down there on the Pee Dee river some old Quonset huts and a string of used school buses, he started off with a rinky dink fifty watt radio station letters coming in from all over the God damn sun belt every one of them with a nickel or a dime in it? Gets on big time television he can't pay his bills because the money's going to his Africa missions so the networks make that an excuse to push him off the air. One word from Tëakell to the FCC he sets up his own operation, one word from Tëakell to Grimes we can raise the investment, clean up Longview and raise the investment you think Grimes could see that? Rasping old bastard he lectures me on the prudent man law, as trustees we must ask if this is an investment the prudent man would make hasn't got a God damn thing to do with the prudent man, he still thinks I'm the one that blew the whistle on those payoffs you know what he tried on me? Some press leaks on VCR and some hushup deal he's sitting in on in Brussels tried to string me along and see what I knew, tried to pin me down on the…

— Well why you even called him in the first place. You know what he thinks of you here, here's the paper honestly, why you want your Reverend Ude in the public eye nationwide with a boy drowning it's more than…

— Liz you don't listen, not talking about a boy drowning I'm talking about my press release on Ude's big Afric, what boy drowning.

— The third or fourth page there's a picture of him, he was baptizing a nine year old boy in the Pee Dee river and the…

— No now, now wait what… the broccoli flower trembled on the fork, — Christ… in a flurry of newspaper, — Jesus Christ. Why didn't you tell me. Look at that, same God damn picture of him I gave it to them myself look at that! God damn it Liz why didn't you tell me.

— Paul I told you he…

— And you didn't tell me there's two of them! Wayne Fickert, boy named Wayne Fickert and an old man he was holding both their heads under when the current Christ, two of them? You didn't…

— I didn't read it all, I just said that he'd…

— He called you said he called, where's the number, he leave a number?

— He did yes, I wrote it down but…

— Well where! God damn pad was here by the phone, that's why the pad was right here by the phone.

— I know it I spilled water on it when I, that's why I wrote it down somewhere else but I can't…

— Well think Liz! Think! He was up seizing the phone book, a paper napkin, the paper towel she'd wrung limp, anything where a number might have been scribbled down, backs of envelopes, — the mail, this the mail? You didn't tell me you brought in the mail.