William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— And it's all just more words and more words until everything gets buried under words, you said…

— Said you wanted me to explain every step as we went along didn't you? hoped you could find a few short cuts where you could maybe save some money?

— Yes but now it's probably beginning to cost more to explain it than anything I could save when these words all begin to sound the same and cancel each other out, that's what I…

— Get to these depositions Oscar, you haven't seen anything yet. What I tried to tell you right from the start. Words, words, words, that's what it's all about.

PLEASE TAKE NOTICE, that pursuant to Article 31 of the Civil Practice Law and Rules, defendant KIESTER named herein will examine plaintiff Oscar L CREASE as the adverse party, by taking his deposition upon oral questions at 8295 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90046, before a notary public of the State of California or before some other person authorized to administer oaths, in compliance with Rule 3113(a) of the Civil Practice Law and Rules.

The aforesaid party is to be examined regarding all evidence material and necessary in the prosecution or defense of the above captioned action and is required to produce the following items or copies thereof:

All books, papers, writings, letters, written communications and records of oral or written communications, including, but not limited to, bank records, contracts, diaries, recordings, log books, call slips, memoranda, drafts, and worksheets, and other documents or things which pertain to all such evidence…

— California? When you can't even walk across the room? Have you tried?

— Tried what.

— Walking across the room she said, doing so herself just then to lower a blind where pale sun streaked the chair she'd been sitting in shuffling papers, — worksheets, drafts and other documents, old concert programs? Just ship those boxes in the hall out to California the way they are, old Playbills? menus? invitations? they don't know what they're in for, what about those family letters that doddering historical society is wheezing over down there? and that rejection letter, had he found that? — I mean it's Exhibit A isn't it?

In the first place he wasn't going to California he told her, in the second place no, he hadn't found the letter but Basic said they could try putting in a sworn affidavit, see if they could get it admitted in evidence, as for that damned historical society no action for infringement can be started until the copyright claim is registered and if the Copyright Office turns it down Basic can start an action by serving a notice on the Register of Copyrights with a copy of the complaint, it was our family's correspondence wasn't it? letters between that uncle with the coal mines in Pennsylvania and Grandfather's mother and father, when they went to France in that diplomatic post where he died — and that's all I know except the rights, there's no question about the rights descending directly to me through Father on this per stirpes basis where the…

— Oscar please. Don't explain it. Obviously you can't go to California so the whole thing…

— I thought Harry must have told you. They've just retained his firm, they've retained Swyne & Dour where Basic said they've put some snooty Hindu on it and I thought maybe I'd ask Harry to sort of get him aside and…

— Don't you dare ask Harry to get anyone aside, my God. He got you a lawyer, isn't that what you wanted?

— Look Christina, here's Harry with this blue ribbon law firm and I ask him to help me and end up with Mister Basic, meanwhile who ends up with the blue ribbon law firm?

— You asked him for a Jewish law firm Oscar, I was standing right here I heard you.

— And what's Mister Basic then, one of the lost tribes? That's why I'm not going to go to California, because they're coming out here to take this deposition, do you think I'd ever collect a penny for all this pain and suffering if anybody saw me up running around the room? Five hundred dollars, that's what they offered me Christina, the insurance company said they'd settle for five hundred dollars and pay these terrible hospital bills now they're trying to get my claims dismissed completely by pleading immunity under these No Fault statutes and if they saw me up running around the room they'd…

— They'd think you were exercising your common law rights, wasn't that what you wanted? It's not your constitutional rights this socalled lawyer is asserting, can't you see? He's asserting his own right to exploit your misery for every dollar he can, it's not his pain and suffering is it? his brilliant lecturing career that's in jeopardy? Is he going to pay your hospital bills when you lose? doctor bills? lab bills? this therapist? By the time you get into a courtroom that scar will look like you fell off your tricycle when you were five, think about it, when you start getting bills from Mister Basic sitting here with his clock running and these people taking your deposition, who's paying for all that?

— It's right there in the complaint, it's even stated right there in the copyright law, we're not just suing for damages you put in reasonable attorney fees too, that's part of the…

— If attorneys' fees were reasonable do you think Harry would be driving around in a car like ours? If they offer to settle for enough to get you out of the hole you're digging yourself into he thinks you should take it, just forget this fifty million dollars damages you're dreaming about.

— I don't know where you got fifty million dollars, we haven't even…

— The story in the paper.

— I haven't seen the paper. It's in the kitchen drying out, Ilse has to walk all the way out to the end of the driveway to get it and after a rain like last night, who told them fifty million dollars?

— I assume it's your friend Mister Basic, he couldn't let you sound like a piker could he? with this other ghoul suing them for twenty?

— What do you mean this other ghoul, who.

— Whatever his name is, he's suing over that revolting sledgehammer scene in Uburubu or whatever it is. He claims your friend Kiester commissioned him to go over there and set the whole thing up, paid all his expenses and promised him some earth shaking fee. It's obviously a better story than someone suing over an old play, your suit was just tacked on.

— Well what did it say Christina. About rne, what did it say about me?

— Simply that, Oscar. That you're suing them, that your father's the judge in the Cyclone Seven mess and a little headline, CYCLONE SEVEN SEEKS NEW HOME. I'll get the phone.

— Well wait, wait if it's…

— If it's collect from Disney World she's probably seen your name in the paper with that fifty million dollar pricetag. Shall I just tell her the check is in the mail? And then, — hello? Oh, it's you… Yes… Yes I can take care of it tomorrow, it's not… Well it's really not that important Harry, don't worry about it… No, everything's fine, he's right here working himself into a state over this deposition they're coming for… Coming here yes, they've retained your firm, did you know? He says Basic tells him they've put some snotty Hindu on it and he hoped you might get him aside and… Well of course, he knows that… I'll tell him… Yes I'll tell him that… I hope so yes, as soon as you can… God, I do too… and she hung it up. — That was Harry.

— What did he…

— He said to tell you to relax about your deposition, just remember to tell the truth and don't volunteer. This Hindu is probably just their third world payback for being handed a token black. Just tell Oscar to tell the truth and don't volunteer.

— What, answers? I don't know what he thinks I… — It's that fifty million dollars, Oscar. They're beginning to take you seriously.