William Gaddis - A Folic Of His Own

— But what excuse, I didn't hear the…

— He died, Oscar.

— But we, I mean my God we thought you knew.

— Father? died? The screen had simmered down to display a new denture cleaner and brightener — Lily? you said he, he died?

— Thought they'd, thought you'd just heard it on the news in there Oscar, we…

— But he, how do you know? his voice sunk near a whisper, staring fixedly now at a new itch fighting shampoo — how do you know!

— It was in the paper Oscar, we just didn't quite, Lily will you get him something? a drink or, I mean it had to happen sooner or later didn't it he was almost a hundred and, or just some wine Lily?

— It was not in the paper! I read the paper and it was not in the paper!

— In the one I brought out with me Oscar might have been a, probably a later edition, thought you'd probably want to get this business of your appeal out of the way before you…

— Well where is it? The paper, where is it!

— I'll get it Oscar here, this whole long story look. He looks real young here doesn't he.

— Lily for God's sake will you, just do as I asked you and some glasses, bring some more glasses will you? and flinging a hand at the bloody aftermath and weeping mothers of three teenagers slain in drug Shootout — and will you turn that thing off!

— Gave him a nice long obit there though didn't they, never knew he'd clerked for your grandfather on the High Court Oscar, probably where he got all his…

— Where they got all their nonsense about madness and, did you read it all? just like what we just saw, long distinguished career but instead they rattle on about that ridiculous mob scene down there, at the time of his death. Judge Crease had only the night before handed down his last decision in a First Amendment case dealing with the notorious outdoor steel sculpture known as Cyclone Seven, overshadowing his long and distinguished career on the Federal bench in clouds of public controversy reaching his court in various guises, most recently the highly publicized 'Spot decision' and another just adjudicated in a related matter involving trademark infringement by a manufacturer of novelty mittens, repeatedly subjecting him to a campaign of vilification as a coldblooded unAmeri-can atheist in a tumult culminating in his being burned in effigy. These events had obstructed his appointment to the U.S. Court of Appeals, widely viewed in light of his advanced age as an interim political appointment, which was cleared yesterday morning by the Senate Judiciary Committee following the abrupt collapse of the virulent opposition led by Senator Orney Bilk who had gone so far as to call for his impeachment. Reached for comment today, Senator Bilk said no, listen to this! Did you read it?

— Good obit isn't it, didn't quite finish it but…

— Listen! Spurred by his constituents' expressions of respectful affection for Judge Crease in the handling of a recent case of wrongful death, Senator Bilk stated that 'In exemplifying the highest ideals of our great American judicial system without fear of favor, Judge Thomas Crease leaves us all in his eternal debt, and like his illustrious father before him, now he belongs to the ages' did you, God! did you read that Harry? Did you see that?

— Just give him the glass Lily and, wait you'd better just bring in another bottle.

— Christina did you hear that! Now he belongs to the, it's revolting.

— Well my God it's true isn't it? I mean he was really a great…

— But from a mouth like that, those glorious words in a dirty mouth like Bilk's he's never said a decent, never told the truth in his life every low rotten thing he's ever said about Father about Grandfather all of us now he's got the, the brazen insolence a moment like this to dare to try to, it's revolting he ought to be shot.

— Politics Oscar, just politics, sees where the parade is heading and jumps in front to lead it, pretty startling turnaround but people have short memories first thing a politician learns, jump right in and give them new ones, got an election coming up remember that, that's all he…

— Remember it! That's what I, listen. Listen, you know what he'll do if we don't stop him? The funeral Harry, Father's funeral he'll come to the funeral and take it over for himself, come to bury Caesar that, that bastard will get up there with the American flag and the Stars and Bars and launch into a harangue about the sacred rights of this mob of honest citizens black folk and white alike under the glorious canopy of the US Constitution that he…

— Oscar?

— Don't interrupt me Christina listen! Thank God I thought of it, Christian values of our great republic that Father defended with his life to the very last breath God gave him and now he belongs to the ages if we don't stop him, we've got to do something before it's too late call them, call the…

— Oscar! Now listen to me, there's not going to be one, sit still and try to relax there's not going to be a funeral and that takes care of that, now…

— What do you, who said there's not! He was an important man Christina a great man of course he'll have a, he ought to have a state funeral after a career like that he's part of history, you think there aren't important people in the bar who'll want to get up and pay a few words of tribute like I will? I owe him at least that don't I? Don't I? And you want to sit there and decide he won't have a funeral just because you…

— What! because what! Because he wasn't my own father? Be, because I came in here like a, dragged in here by my mother like an orphan who never…

— Oscar quit it! She's already real upset can't you see that? She didn't decide it anyway he did, your daddy did it's right there in that thing you're reading if you'd just read it before you start yelling and blaming everybody read it, read it! but she snatched it away — right here, it's right here someplace where it says here, in his stipu, his stipulation according to his law clerk for immediate cremation with no funeral services of any sort and forbidding a grave marked by a cross or, hand her some of those tissues while you're standing there will you?

— I, I'm sorry Christina I didn't mean, if you'd told me I…

— You ought to be Oscar, you ought to be sorry she…

— No it's, I'm all right Lily it's all right I, thanks, I mean I should have explained Oscar, he's Father's executor this law clerk is, Father named him his executor in his will so he's just carrying out Father's wishes and…

— But no funeral that's not, is that right Harry? Harry?

— What? Oh, the funeral yes matter of fact, I don't think it's binding, put it in a will it just expresses the wishes of the decedent he'd like a Viking funeral, put to sea in a flaming ship or sent up in a rocket or nothing at all but his wishes end with him, not like bequeathing a house or a diamond bracelet doesn't bind the survivors to anything but their own sentimental whatever they decide, no funeral but they can send the remains up in a rocket whatever they…

— Yes well there! There Christina, we can do whatever we, Christina? We can still, if it's not too late we can still do it I'll call him, we can still…

— Oscar please, will you simply, simply sit down and try to relax? clearing her throat, blowing her nose in the handful of tissue — I'm sure it's too late. I'm sure he went right ahead and followed Father's instructions like he's followed them down there for thirty years.

— Yes but Harry just said, he should have asked us shouldn't he? He's a law clerk he should know that, he must know these wishes aren't binding on the survivors he's not even, he's just a clerk a law clerk he had no right doing that without asking us, we could, he's a law clerk he should know we could probably sue him if we…