Christopher Beha - Arts & Entertainments - A Novel

“The thing to remember,” Dell said, once Kara had introduced everyone, “is that it’s called ‘reality television’ for a reason. We’re trying to capture the truth. Occasionally we might ask you to repeat something just for clarity’s sake. We might ask you to reenter a room for blocking purposes, that kind of thing. And we might ask you to be more explicit about some thoughts you have. But ultimately we’re asking you to be yourself. I understand you’ve got some acting experience?”

“I used to act,” Eddie admitted.

“We’re not actually looking for you to act here. We just want you to live your real life.”

Eddie wasn’t sure whether any of them knew how far they already were from his real life. They clearly meant to treat his relationship with Melissa as real, even when the cameras weren’t running.

“I get it.”

“That’s great,” Dell said. “Don’t overthink things. It will all be natural and easy.”

“When does Melissa get back?”

“She’s already back. She’s getting prepped in the other room. Once we get you miked up, then we’ll bring her in. Our sound guy, Yuri, will get on that.”

Yuri spoke rather limited English for a man whose job was to make sure their words were comprehensible, but he moved with comforting efficiency. He unbuttoned Eddie’s shirt and taped a small mike to his chest. While Yuri worked, Dell continued his patter.

“It’s been a little while since you’ve seen Melissa, right?”

“About two weeks.”

“In a few minutes she’s going to walk in this room. Naturally you’re going to be happy to see her. I want you to be true to that emotion. Nothing too dramatic, just try to convey the actual feeling you have. Then you guys are going to have a normal conversation. It’s all right to talk about the show— you’re nervous, you’re excited — but not too much. Don’t dwell on it. Just be excited to see her. And if you talk about anyone else, use proper names, not pronouns, so people know who you’re talking about. Does that all make sense?”

Eddie wanted to assure him that he’d received plenty of direction before, but he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be acting.

“It all makes sense.”

“We’re going to get the camera rolling. You hang tight. In a little bit Melissa will be here.”

He expected her to come bursting through the door as soon as filming started. He didn’t think they would waste footage on him alone. But this was another change from his old television days — everything was digital; they didn’t worry about wasted footage. The camera stayed on him for several minutes while he sat expectantly. He thought they might be trying to draw out the proper expression of anticipation. He tried to produce that expression, though he’d just been warned away from any conscious performance. They wanted genuine surprise. He tried to convey his readiness to be surprised. Instead, he turned tense. His shoulders rolled up toward his ears, and his thighs started to twitch. He thought of his worst acting experiences, in the months after Martha left. He wanted badly for the cameras to go away. Finally, he gave up and sat down with his head in his hands. That’s when Melissa appeared.

“I’m back,” she called out as she walked through the door. She carried two suitcases she hadn’t taken with her when she left.

Eddie stood up and rushed over to her, surprised to find himself genuinely happy to see her.

“I missed you,” he said. Perhaps the fact that there was some truth to the statement made him say it a bit too loudly, in a forced tone.

Melissa kissed him on the lips.

“I missed you, too.”

“Fuck,” said Dell, as he walked in from the other room. “Sorry, guys. You both are doing great. We’ve just got a sound problem on our end. Yuri, can you figure out what’s going on with Melissa’s microphone?”

Yuri approached Melissa without a word and pulled her shirt up over her bra. He took the mike from between her breasts and looked at it quizzically. He left her shirt perched up near her neck while he retreated to another room. Eddie wanted to say something to acknowledge the absurdity of the situation, but Dell grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

“You’re perfect,” Dell told Eddie. “Except that, like I said before, sometimes acting experience can get in the way a little bit. We’re not looking for you to act here. We’re just looking for you to be you. Just try to be a little more natural.”

Trying to be natural never worked, Eddie knew. Trying was the opposite of being natural.

“I’ll do my best.”

He looked back at Melissa, who suppressed a smile while Yuri stood with his face in her cleavage, reattaching her mike.

“Sound is good now,” Yuri said.

“I hate to do this to you,” Dell said, “but I need Melissa to step back outside with those bags and give everything another go.”

This time she didn’t wait long before returning to the room, dropping her bags, and calling out, “I’m back.”

Eddie made an effort to act more like himself, whatever that might mean. He walked more slowly to the door, and he spoke more quietly when he said, “I missed you.”

He was glad they’d been able to practice their awkward kiss, because when their lips met now it seemed natural enough, at least to Eddie. He couldn’t say how it would look on camera.

“I missed you, too,” Melissa said.

“How was your trip?”

“It was all right.”

Her unhappy look seemed designed more for the camera than for him.

“What’s the matter?” Eddie asked.

She turned away from him.

“You know how my mother is.”

“I don’t. I’ve never met her.”

“She doesn’t think that we should be together. She says it’s not good for me to be with a man who left his pregnant wife.”

“I didn’t leave her,” Eddie said, in genuine frustration. “She threw me out.”

“Don’t get angry with me. I’m just telling you what she said.”

Eddie tried to calm himself. He imagined what he would say if the situation were real.

“The problem is that she’s never met me. She just knows what she reads in the paper. I look like a jerk in the press, but if she met me in person, she’d feel differently.”

Eddie was speaking for the audience now, trying to plead his case.

“Forget I said anything,” Melissa told him. “We can talk about it some other time.”

Eddie was relieved to have the subject dropped, but Dell stepped into the room.

“I think you should stick with this topic,” he said in his most encouraging voice. “We’re getting right to the core of something here, and it would be a shame if you gave up on it. I know this is hard, but just continue this line for a few more minutes.”

He retreated from the room, leaving Eddie and Melissa facing each other. Eddie was somewhat pleased to see Melissa as uncomfortable as he was. She spoke in a soft voice he’d never heard from her before.

“I guess it’s because my own dad left while my mom was still pregnant with me, and we never heard from him again. That’s why she tends to side with Susan when she thinks about all of this.”

When Eddie answered, he hoped that he sounded as sincere as she had.

“I’m going to be there for those girls. No matter what else happens, I’m going to be there to take care of them. I’m not going to be like your father was.”

His voice had cracked toward the end of his speech, and he wasn’t sure how that would sound. He hadn’t intended the effect, but it seemed after the fact like a nice touch.

“That was all great,” Dell said. “I’m glad we stuck with things. That felt really honest.”

While Melissa unpacked, Dell led Eddie into another room for an interview. It had been explained in the contract that he would be interviewed up to three times a day and that the company could use the footage any way they saw fit. Beyond this he didn’t know what to expect from these sessions.