Percival Everett - Erasure

“Shut the fuck up, old man,” Tito say.

“I ain’t no houseboy,” I say. “And he ain’t no whitey.” I shake my head. “I gets fired, right? So, I go to check out this job my mama told me ‘bout. I just want to make a coupla dollars to buy me a piece. Anyway, I get there and the dude’s blacker than me. And this house, man oh man, this house is a son of a bitch. Paintins on the walls, a Benz, a Beamer. I couldn’t believe the shit.”

“What the nigger do?” Tito ax.

I looks at him.

“How he get rich?” he ax.

“I don’t know. But he a rich muthafucka. The swimmin pool bigger than yo fuckin house,” I say.

“Drug dealer,” Yellow say.

“I don’t think,” I say. “He didn’t look like no drug dealer.”

“I bet he be a lawyer then,” Yellow say.

“Shut the fuck up, Yellow,” Tito snap. “I want you to make me a list,” he say to me. “I wanna know what he got in the house.”

“I ain’t makin no fuckin list,” I say.

“I thought you and me was tight,” he say.

“That ain’t got nuffin to do with shit,” I say. “I’m gone make my money and buy me a gun and then I’m outta here.”

“See, there you go, nigger,” Tito say. “You make yo money and buy yo gun and then you and me go back wif the list you gone make and we rob the muthafucka and split.”

I laughs at him. “How you gone run anyway with a big ass paintin under your arm?” I ax. “I’m robbin that K’rean mutha and a bank. I can run with money. I can spend money. I cain’t spend no paintin.”

“We sell the paintin, buckwheat,” Tito say. He frown at Yellow for lettin out a laugh. “We fence the shit.”

“Where you gone fence a paintin in a fuckin ghetto, nigger?” I ax.

“Nigger got a point,” Yellow say.

“Shut up, Yellow,” Tito say. “What it gone hurt, you makin me the list?” he ax me.

“Okay, shit,” I say. “I’ll think about the fuckin list.”

“See, I told you we was tight,” Tito say.

I takes another shot. “Since we so tight, you can buy me some food cross the street,” I say.

“Okay,” he say.

Tito buy me a burrito across the street at Sammy the vendor’s wagon. Sammy be blind, but he can tell the dif’rence between a one and a five. Nobody know how he do it, but he do it all the time. We be standin there eatin when this bitch come walkin by. She be wearin some little shorts and her butt meat be hangin out a little bit.

Yellow whisper to me, “Girl got some junk in the trunk.”

I don’t pay him no mind. I’m just lookin at the bitch and I see she lookin at me and so I walks over and catches up wif her at the corner.

“Hey, baby,” I say.

“Hey, baby, yo’self,” she say back.

“I ain’t seen you round here befo’,” I say.

“I ain’t been round here before,” she say.

“Dangerous neighborhood,” I says.

She look me up and down and say, “I see.”

“Oh, you gone be like that,” I says.

“I ain’t bein no way,” she say.

I realize how funky I am and I say, “I just got off work. I don’t always stink.”

She laugh and I laugh wif her.

“What yo name, girl?” I ax.

“My name be Kesrah,” she say.

I nod, thinkin bout her name. “I be Go,” I say. “Where you goin, Kesrah?”

“Home,” she say.

“How old you?” I ax.

“What you care?” she say.

“Yo mama home?”

She shake her head.

“Like I said, this be a bad neighborhood. I better walk you home. That be awright wif you?”

“Awright wif me.”

Tito call out to me. “Nigger, you be careful! That shit must be fourteen.”

Me and Kesrah halfway cross the street now. “You fourteen, girl?”

“I might be,” she say. “What you care?”

“I don’t care,” I say.

I lookin at Kesrah while we walkin to her house. She be little, but she got some big titties. She short and kinda fat, but I’m gone get behind her in her house ride her dog-style, gone make the bitch bark like a dog. That’s what I’m gone do. And I gone make baby number five.

“You got any babies?” I ax her.

“No,” she say.

“You ever been wif a man befo’?” I ax.

“Sho I have.”

“Then you ain’t been doin it right,” I says. “You wants a baby?”

“Yeah, I wants a baby. Everybody want a baby.”

“I’m gone give you a baby,” I tell her.

So, I gets to the girl’s house and her big fat uncle be asleep on the couch, stinkin of Colt 45. She giggle as we sneak past him to the back of the house. I tells her to shut up. Man, her uncle is big so I sho don’t want his ugly ass waking up.

“Don’t worry none,” she say. “He ain’t gone do nuffin’ even if he do wake up.” And then we in her bedroom and she push her tongue down my throat. I gab her sweater and pull it off and she almost ain’t got no titties.

I laugh, “Shit, girl you be almost flat-chested.”

She get mad then. “I a woman, though.”

I kiss her. “Oh yeah, you a woman though.”

We gets our clothes off and I get on top her and ride her real good for a long time and she be crying and shit and saying it hurt, but she like it. I know she like it, the way she moanin like that. I fucks her good. Then I get up and pull on my pants.

“You gonna come back tomorrow?” she ax.

“Naw, baby, I can’t be comin round here seein you.”

“But,” she say.

I shake my head. “You too young, girl. I cain’t be runnin round havin people see us together.”

She don’t know what to say, then she walk to the window. “So, you doggin me,” she say.

I shrug.

“Nigger,” she say.

“You ain’t no woman neither,” I says. “You call that shit you was doin fuckin?”

She startin to cry. Then she commence to screamin for her big ass uncle. That muthafucka be drunk as shit, but he haul his big butt off that couch and start talkin trash.

“Who the fuck you?” he say.

“Yo daddy,” I say and try to get through the room to the front door.

That big sonofabitch steps in front of me and I see the nigger be wearin these funny-ass pajamas with clowns on ‘em. I says, “Nigger, look at yoself.”

“What you talkin bout?” he ax.

“That shit you be wearin. You looks like some kinda circus fool.”

Then that bitch come standin in the doorway lookin all pitiftul and cryin and shit with a blanket pulled up over her.

“What goin on?” that big nigger say.

“He rape me,” she say.

“What the fuck?” Then he try to jump at me, saying he gone kill my ass, but I jump over the couch and get to the door. Old fat ass fall down and knock over his forty what been on the floor. “I’m gone get you,” he say.

“You ain’t gone get nothin,” I say. Then I looks over at the girl and I say, “But a nephew, cause I don’t miss.”

“I hate you,” she scream.

“And I hate you too,” I says. “What that got to do wif anythin?”

I run on out the house and into the street and I be laughin. I run through a coupla backyards in case the uncle got a gun or some shit and I come out on the next street.

I be on my way to the pool hall where I’m gone tell Tito and Yellow about the young pussy and that fat uncle muthafucka. They gone laugh, I just know it. I round the corner near the school when it just gettin to be dusk and I see a coupla headlights comin down the street real slow. I think, who the fuck is this? And then I see it’s a Jeep and a buncha niggers jump out and start runnin at me. I run, man. These is some fast niggers too. I try to climb the fence at the basketball courts. One of them catches my leg and I kick him off and then I get over. I run into the shadows and slip through a hole in the wall and down an alley. Then I kick into this abandon buildin and hide, be real quiet. I don’t hear ‘em. Then I realize somebody in there wif me.