Percival Everett - Erasure

I got another coupla minutes before that lunch bell ring and that Willy the Wonker nigger come walkin down the street my way. He be singin that song what ain’t no song that always be gettin on people’s nerves. He swayin like the junkie he is, all fucked up and about to fall down and I laugh thinkin that if you gets really fucked up then you fall down, up, down, up down. He singin and swayin and preachin to the air, to the sidewalk, to the bus passin by.

“Lawd Gawd,” he say, “let these niggers on these streets leave me alone today. Please, Jesus. Don’t let no drive-by gang punk-ass muthafucka put a hole in me. Don’t let no junkie kill me fo’ my junk. Don’t let no white man throw me in his dungeon. Don’t let yo son, who died fo my sorry ass, come back down here just yet, not until I gets my shit ironed out.” Then Willy see me. “Hey, I know you, young nigger.”

“Just keep yo junkie ass away from me,” I say.

“Junkie? Who you callin junkie? Sorry ass muthafucka. I’ll dust yo junkie ass off.”

“Step bad if you wanna, bitch,” I say and look in his red and yellow eyes.

“I know you,” he say. “I know you. You be Clareece Jenkins’ boy. I knew I knowed you. How old you now? Eighteen? Twenty?” He laughs and points at me. “I hit that shit back in the sebenties. Nigger, I might even be yo daddy.”

A chill run through me and I feel my lip shakin. “I’m gone kick you in the ass, you don’t shut up.”

“Fuck you,” he say.

“Fuck you,” I say.

“Fuck you,” he say.

“Fuck you,” I say.

“Yo mama still fat?” He smile big. “She was fat back then, not real fat, not too fat, but fat, you know, fat enough to make it fun.” And then he grab an invisible woman and fucked the air. “Clareece,” he croon out. “Clareeeece.”

I was about to punch him in his face, but the lunch bell ring. I step on away from him. “You better watch yo ass, old nigger.”

But the junkie won’t let me alone. “You do looks a lil’ like me, you know that?”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Round the eyes and mouf.”

“I’m gone slam you, I swear to fuckin Gawd.”

He back up then. “Okay. We cool. We cool.” And he give me a knowin look. “We cool.”

Finally, Cleona come out the door and she be talkin to some pretty nigger. I walk up to her and I says, “Hey, baby.”

She look at me and laugh, then turn to the pretty boy and say, “I’ll talk to you later, Tyrell.”

“Yeah, she talk to you later, Ty-rell,” I say.

The nigger just smile at me and then he walk on down the street where he climbs into a bright red Jeep. Rich-ass nigger muthafucka.

“Ain’t that a blip,” I say.

“What you mean callin me yo baby,” Cleona say. “I ain’t nothin to you, boy.”

“You my baby’s mama,” I say.

“So?”

“Chill out, baby. Let’s go over to yo house so I can see Rexall.”

“Fool, where I be right now?” she ax.

“School,” I say.

“And where my mama be right now?”

“Work,” I say.

“What you think, I’m gone leave a little retarded boy in a house by hisself?”

“Let’s just go to yo house then,” I say.

“Don’t even go there,” she say, gettin her head to movin.

“Come on. I wanna give you some money for the retard.”

“Don’t call him that,” she snap.

“Okay, okay. I wanna give you a coupla bucks and talk to you bout him a lil’ bit.”

She laugh, throwin her head back on her fat neck, then she look at me. “You talk like you think I’m the retarded one.”

“You the one had a retard for a baby.”

“Don’t start wif me, nigger,” she say. “Just give me the damn money right here.”

“Cain’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Just cain’t,” I tells her.

“I gotta be back to school in an hour,” she say.

“You be back. Don’t sweat it. I make sure you be back,” I say. “I’ll give you the money and you can tell me how Rexall doin and if you need sumpin and that be it.” I look up and down the street. I sees a girl checkin me out and I smiles at her.

“What you smilin at?” Cleona ax.

“You done said I ain’t nuffin to you,” I say.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

“Yo mama comin home?”

“You know she ain’t gone be home till late,” she say.

I love Cleona and I hate Cleona. There be two lil’ niggers in my head. Nigger A and Nigger B. Nigger A say, Be cool, bro, you know you ain’t gots no money, so just let this girl go on back to school and through maf class and English class and socle studies so she can get out and be sumpin. Just let her have a chance, one chance to be that nurse she always talkin bout bein. But Nigger B be laughin, say, Shit, take this bitch home to her house and hit it one times, two times. She got the nerve to be talkin to Jeep-nigger in front of you. Fuck that shit. If she gone dis you like that, nail her ass. Later you can go out and find that Jeep-muthafucka and fuck him up. Right now, take this pussy home and get a taste. You remember how good that shit was, the way she whimpered, like she be crying, like it hurt. Nigger be hurtin a pussy. Fuck school. She ain’t gone be no nurse. She ain’t gone be nuffin.

When we walk to her house I see some guys playin ball. I ain’t played no ball in a long long time, I thinks to myself. At one time I was real good. I could dunk from the top of the key and all like that. I had me a nice jumper too, but shit, how you gone get into college and get all that big money when you ain’t nuffin to begin wif and when the muthafuckas make it so you cain’t stay in school. And I wasn’t bout to suck no coach’s dick for a chance to play. I shoulda gone over there when I was good and tried out for the Lakers. I woulda fit right in. Showtime. Me and Magic. I didn’t even need no practice, that how good I was.

Cleona unlocks the door and we goes inside and she turn to me and say, “Now give me the money.”

“Slow down, baby,” I say in my smooth voice. “Why don’t you show me where the baby sleep.”

“You know where the baby sleep. The baby sleep in my room and we ain’t goin in there. Now, give me the money.”

“Well, could you get me some ice water?” I ax.

She sigh real heavy and stomp them big feet off in the direction of the kitchen.

I sits down on the sofa and I see that the thing be new. I run my hand along the cushion beside me and I’m thinkin, shit, where this mutha come from. Brand new.

Cleona come back into the room with the glass of water and hand it to me and then just stand there.

“You got a new couch,” I say.

“So?”

“Where you and yo mama get the money for this here?”

“That ain’t none o’ yo business,” she say.

“I think it is,” I say. “If my baby’s mama gone out sellin her ass fo money to buy furniture, that be my business. Maybe you don’t need no money.”

“You s’posed to give me money every monf for Rexall.”

“S’posed to ain’t the same as got to,” I say. I looks around the room. “Shit, y’all got a lot of nice shit.” I sips my water and it be warm. “I said ice, bitch.”

She just stare at me.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I say. “That just come out all wrong. C’mon here and sit down beside me.”

She still just lookin at me.

“Sit down,” I say again.

She plop her big ass down heavy next to me and I put my arm round her and she get all stiff.

“C’mon, Cleona, loosen up some. Ain’t nobody home.” I touch one of them big titties with my finger and say, “That’s where my baby be havin dinner.”

Cleona don’t want to but she let out a giggle.

I touch her titties some more. “That’s a big ol’ tittie,” I say. “I wanna taste what my baby be drinkin. You want me to taste what my baby taste?”