Steve Katz - Kissssss - A Miscellany

To expand the barbecue pit, Sitund had to work during the day, when his neighbor wasn't home. He lined it with stones taken off the wall that separated his yard from the yard of Borter Lalvud, with whom he'd had his differences. The neighbor claimed this fence was one hundred percent on his side of the line. Sitund said it split the line. The original barbeque pit was big enough for a Yonoletenus goose, but not for whatever else they were going to roast on the spit at this coming family celebration. He extended it in each direction, a shallow pit, lined with flat stones, that he would soon cover with charcoal. At one end it was a little deeper, where he would bury the goose in its tasty jacket, but the rest was exactly the right depth, over which a spit could turn slowly, something special on it, fat rendering onto the glowing coals in pops of blue flame.

He had to shop for charcoal, paper plates, salad fixings, beer and assorted soft drinks, and wanted to get that done this afternoon. In the house Dojie moved around her window, half-dressed or half-naked, depending on how you looked at her. Eukan still hadn't shown up from wherever he had gone. The picnic was mostly for the son; in fact, without him it would be an empty ritual. He was confident Eukan would be back in time. He had raised a responsible boy. However he wasn't so confident his wife would get back with the van in time for him to shop for a new picnic table, the old one an embarrassment, rotten and collapsed. Part of Yerml's sweetness was that she was so vague, and it didn't really register with her that he might need the van. She seemed oblivious to the fact that stores would close, days could end, people had deadlines, and even that someone might really want her help and support.

It was five forty in the afternoon when he finally heard the van pull up, the door slam, and there in the entryway was his Yerml. O heaven in the flesh! Yerml, his Yerml. Her look melted him, and when they embraced, all their ingredients mingled.

“You got back just in time. I hope I can get everything done.”

“I said I'd be back. What did you expect?”

“Nothing, sweetheart. I want everything to be perfect.” He took the van keys from her hand.

“We trust you. Don't worry. Mr. Pillar-of-Strength.” She looked into the kitchen, and the living room. “Is he upstairs?”

“No. Not home yet.”

“It won't be a picnic without him.”

“I dug a new pit. He'll be here. I'm going for a new picnic table. He's a satisfier, our son.” He and his wife melted into each other again. “Yum,” they said in unison.

Eukan had actually returned. He had climbed through a basement window and had slipped undetected up to his sister's room, and was helping her tint her foot green, as he told her, in excited bursts, the story of his boat, his trip down the river.

“… like the boat did most of it by itself… a pair of propellor plants for a small biomotor… didn't even have to stimulate it… a rudder but it steered itself… awesome fast boat… should have seen Ajieck and those gawks… your brother built it… me… glides like a cloud on the wind… you have to see it, Dojie… ”

“Okay. I'll come see it, but first you've got to hold the foot really still, Euk, or else you're no help.” She was applying the special wax in a star design, to practice this masking, so a yellow star would shine through. She wanted to get really good at this, so when she did the final teal she could make an elaborate something all over her body. What could it be? A big dragon, maybe? Something drashy beyond drash. Maybe a dramatic tortoise on skates. She would do something to send the empty beyond.

“It went so easy on the top of the shallowest rapids… spun around and around but never even wobbled… I love my boat… I love my boat… ”

“Hold it like this,” she twisted her foot, “and don't let it move.”

Eukan gripped her foot. She was his sister, and he loved her a lot; but sometimes he couldn't figure out why she did what she did. “And it's like my boat steered by itself all the way down here. It came right down here. I didn't have to do anything.”

“Well bugbug, Eukan. The river only goes one way, from there to here. Besides, you've got to get away from here soon. A good thing you've got that boat.”

“Dojie, why are you making your foot green?”

“Dojie,” they heard their mother call, as she started up the stairs. Eukan dove into the closet. “Dojie!” Her mother threw open the door. “Why don't you ever answer me?” She looked around the room.

“I answer you.”

“You should answer right away.” She looked down at Dojie's foot, and wrinkled her nose. “You'll clean up your room, and help me straighten up downstairs. Picnic's tomorrow. Big barbecue, sweetheart.” She pointed at the foot. “Looks like a disease.”

“A barbecue, huh?”

“If your brother ever gets back. It'll be pointless without him.”

“Brother, yum yum,” she said, sarcastically. “Sadder if he comes. Is he a missing person yet?”

“After tomorrow we'll worry about that, if he doesn't show up. Now we have sheets and a tablecloth to iron. Pillowcases.”

She reached out to open the closet where Eukan was hiding. Dojie pushed her hand away, and stepped in front of the door.

“What are you doing? That's my closet.”

“You're living in this house, young lady, and not paying rent… ”

“What do you want? It's my closet.”

“I was just going to grab some of your old sneakers and take them to the Heap.”

“The stupid Heap. I'll bring them down later, okay. Stay out of my closet.”

Yerml almost shoved her aside, as an object lesson. She was still nothing but a kid, as long as she was a dependent. Her closet. Really? What did she keep in there? Some time she'd come up when Dojie wasn't home and go through the mess herself, but she'd let it pass for now. These were the joys of motherhood, indeed. People who believe that should try it some time with teenagers. “So come down and help with the ironing.”

“I don't do ironing.” Dojie said that to be nasty. She didn't like herself nasty, but her mother sometimes was so clueless and bossy.

“Okay, but you can at least help me with the wash.” Yerml would be grateful for any small victory.

Dojie lifted her green foot, as if to flaunt it. Her mother wrinkled her nose. “I don't know why you want to do these things to yourself,” Yerml said.

“I want to walk on a foot of a different color,” Dojie said, self-righteously, and then she laughed at herself.

“Well, you've sure got one now.” Her mother laughed too. Sometimes she almost seemed to understand. She'd been a bridey herself at one time, though they didn't call themselves that, back in the old times.

Eukan slipped out of the closet, as soon as he heard his mother go back downstairs.

“It's time you'd better leave,” Dojie whispered. “You heard what she was saying. You've got to get away from here.

Eukan rubbed his hands down his cheeks. “Not yet. I can't yet. I have to figure everything out first.”

“What do you have to figure out? You heard her say barbecue. Do I have to convince you again about pünkscheit? It is coming.”

“No. Yes. I can't think about it.” Eukan laughed nervously.

“It's not a joke.”

“I don't think it's a joke. It just doesn't seem possible. It seems so stupid. Mom and Dad can't be that stupid.”

“How long's it been since we've had a barbecue? Pure and simple pünkscheit is what they're into. Nonawi's family did him in midwinter, and they had a big boil. Yuk, boiled brother. Turned Verri into, like, a lobster. They feasted on him, a couple of cannibals. And they're schoolteachers. So much for education. It sounds too silly to talk about, but this is real, and it's horrible.”