John Barth - The Sot-Weed Factor

"Then one day Humphrey came to Father's shop near Puddle Dock, weeping fit to die, and said Miss Williams had done herself to death with poison! I took pity on the man, albeit at heart I had none for Miss Williams, and rejoiced when Humphrey came to see me every day. At length he said, 'Dear Susan, thy likeness to Elizabeth is my curse and my salvation! I weep to see ye, thinking of her dead; yet I cannot think her gone, with her living image every day before me.' And I said, 'I could wish, sir, ye saw somewhat beyond that likeness.'

"This gave him pause, and anon he went to Father, and we two were wed. Yet for all I strove to win my Humphrey's love, I saw 'twas but the image of Miss Williams he made love to. One night when he lay sleeping fast I kissed him, and in his sleep he said, 'God save ye, sweet Elizabeth!' Fool that I was, I woke him on the instant, and made him choose betwixt the two of us. 'Elizabeth is dead,' I said, 'and I'm alive. Do ye love me, love myself and not my likeness, else I shan't stay in this bed another moment!'

"Ah, God! Had I been but ten years older, or one groats-worth wiser, I'd have held my tongue! What matter what he called me, so he loved me? Why, didn't he call me Honey and Sweetheart and a flock of names besides, as well as Susan? I cursed my speech the moment 'twas spoke, but the hurt was done. 'Dear Susan!' Humphrey cried. 'Why did ye that? Would God ye had not asked me to choose!'

"All for naught then my begging and weeping; he'd not let me put by my words, but he must choose. And choose he did, though not a word he said of't; for next morn he was too ill to rise, and died not four days after. Thus was I widowed at nineteen years. .

"My father had troubles of his own, for his trade was poor, and Humphrey's niggard funeral took his savings. He went into debt to pay for food and stock, and just when the lot was gone, and the creditors were hounding at our door, a man came in to order casks for's vessel, which he said was bound for Maryland at month's end. So pleased was Father to get the work, he bade me brew the man some tea. But at sight o' me the wight turned pale and wept, for all he was a burly bearded sailor!

" 'What is't?' said I, that had been like to die of grief myself those many weeks. The captain begged forgiveness and said 'twas my likeness to his dear dead sister caused his tears. In short, we learned he was Captain William Mitchell of Gracechurch Street, the same that was half brother to Elizabeth and my Humphrey's late employer. Had I but known then what vipers hid behind that kindly face, I had turned him out and bolted fast the door! But instead we wept together: I for my Humphrey, Captain Mitchell for his sister, and Father for the miseries of this life, wherein we lose the ones we love and cannot even mourn them fitly, for grubbing to feed the living."

Here Susan had to interrupt her narrative for some moments to give expression to her grief. Tears ran as well down Ebenezer's face, and even Bertrand was no longer hostile, but sighed in sympathy.

"Captain Mitchell then came oft to visit us," she went on, "and Father and I being innocent of the World's wickedness, we took him to our hearts. We had no secret he was not made privy to, though he gave us to know little of himself. Yet we guessed that he was rich, for he spoke of carrying twenty servants to Maryland, whither he sailed to take some fine post in the government.

"Then when the coopering was done and all the casks hauled over to the dock, Captain Mitchell made my father a strange proposal: he would pay off Father's debts and leave him unencumbered for good and all, if I would sail to Maryland with Mrs. Mitchell and himself. He would treat me as his own dear sister, he declared; nay, more — 'twas just that likeness had resolved him, and he meant to call me Elizabeth Williams. I was to be a sister to him, and companion to his ailing wife. .

"My father wept and thanked him for his kindness, but said he could not live if I were gone, whereupon Captain Mitchell proposed at once that he sell the shop — lock, stock, and barrels — and start a new life in America. Naught would do then but we fetch our books and ledgers, almost a-swoon with joy and gratitude, and he paid our creditors in cash. 'Surely there's some condition to this kindness!' Father cried, and Captain Mitchell said, 'No more than what I stated: Miss Warren is now my sister.'

"Thus was the business done, with my consent. That night, when things were calm again, I felt odd at being Elizabeth Williams, that I had envied and despised, and wondered if I'd spoken in too great haste. Yet 'twas a kind of pleasure too, inasmuch as Humphrey had loved Elizabeth all in vain and now would have his love returned tenfold!

"On shipboard I was placed in Mrs. Mitchell's room, while Father was placed with Captain Mitchell's servants in the 'tween decks. Mrs. Mitchell was bedridden with some strange malady, but she was sweet to me. She called me Elizabeth, and bade me do whate'er her husband asked, because he was a great good man that she could not live without. Two times a day I gave her medicine in little phials that Captain Mitchell took from a wooden chest: if I was late 'twould drive her almost mad, but once she had her phial, she'd off to sleep at once. Captain Mitchell had a great many of these phials, and one morning he made me take one lest I get seasick.

" 'Thankee,' said I, 'but we're eight days out and I've not been seasick yet.' Captain Mitchell then came near and put his arm about my waist, right before Mrs. Mitchell's eyes, and said, 'Sister, ye must do as your brother says.' And Mrs. Mitchell cried, 'Aye, aye, Elizabeth, do as your brother says!'

"He gave a phial to me then, and to pacify them both I did as he bade me, and chewed the brown gum inside. Ah Christ, that the first bitter taste had killed me! 'Twas no medicine I took at all, but itself a malady worse than death — 'twas opium I ate, sirs, all innocently that day!"

" 'Sheart!" cried Bertrand.

"The wretch!" cried Ebenezer.

" 'Twas opium kept Mrs. Mitchell to her bed and drove her mad when 'twas lacking! 'Twas opium led to my downfall, and my father's, and brought me to this state ye see: a filthy trollop driving swine! God curse the hand that raised the poppy that made the opium I ate that day! Yet I thought 'twas simple medicine, belike a soporific, and bitter as it was, I ate it all. Straightway I drowsed upon my feet, and the room changed sizes; I was on the bed with Mrs. Mitchell, that grasped me by the hand, and the Captain leaning o'er the twain of us. His head had got huge; his eyes were afire. 'Sister Elizabeth! Sister Elizabeth!' he said. .

"In my dream I rose up high o'er the ship, hand in hand with Mrs. Mitchell. The sky was blue as sapphire, and the sea beneath us looked like crepe. The ship was a wee thing, clear and bright, and straight on the horizon was the sun. Then the sun was the eye of a man, and Mrs. Mitchell said, 'Lookee yonder, Elizabeth: that man is Christ Almighty, and ye must do what he says, as thou'rt a proper Catholic girl.' We went up near to Christ's great eye, and when He looked to us we stood naked for his judgment.

" 'Sister Elizabeth,' he said to me, 'I shall soon choose ye for a mighty work. I mean to get a child on ye, as my Father did on Mary!" I saw myself next in the habit of a nun, and Mrs. Mitchell called me Sister Elizabeth, the bride o' Christ. Then Christ's voice came like a great warm wind behind me, calling, 'Sister! Sister! Sister!' and while that Mrs. Mitchell held me, I was swived.

" 'Twas all clear when I woke, for the face o' Jesus was Captain Mitchell's face: I saw why Elizabeth had turned in shame from Humphrey and killed herself with poison; I saw why Captain Mitchell called me his sister, in his awful wickedness, and why Mrs. Mitchell had to help him in his sin. From that day I was lost, and Captain Mitchell hid no longer his real nature. Again and again they forced the drug upon me, till I was dreaming half the day of Christ my lover. The craving got such hold on me, I'd have killed any man to get my phial. Five pounds apiece he set his fee, till I had borrowed from my father all the money Captain Mitchell had given him, and the poor man went to Maryland a pauper. After that there was naught for't but to sell my services for the future, a month of bondage for every phial: I signed a blank indenture-bond for Captain Mitchell to count the months on, and knew I was his slave and whore for life.