John Barth - The Sot-Weed Factor

Burlingame pursed his lips and raised and let fall bis hands. "He had no children, to my knowledge, and the yen for sons can drive a man and woman far. Moreover, 'twould be no great matter to achieve: Many's the anchor that's dropped at dusk and weighed ere the sun comes up. Yet 'twas not kidnaping I mainly thought of, though I would not rule it out — more likely, if he came by me improperly, 'twas that he'd got me on some mistress in a port of call."

"Nay," said Ebenezer. "I have indeed read that the sailor is a great philanderer, even at times a bigamist, by reason of his occupation, but Captain Salmon, as I picture him, had neither the youth nor the temper for such folly, the less so far that he was no common sailor, but master of a vessel. 'Twere as unlike such a man to saddle himself with a bastard as 'twould be for Solomon to prattle nonsense or a Jew to strike fair bargains."

Burlingame smiled. "Which is but to say, 'tis not out of the question. Follow Horace if you will when making verse — flebilis Ino, perfidus Ixion, and the rest — but think not actual folk are e'er so simple. Many's the Jew hath lost his shirt, and saint that hath in private leaped his houseboy. A covetous man may be generous on occasion, and Even an emmet may seek revenge. Again, though 'twere unlike Captain Salmon to sow wild oats, 'twere not at all unlike him, if his own plot would not bear, to seek a-purpose a field more fruitful. Melissa may even have pressed him to."

"A wife incite her husband to be unfaithful?"

" 'Twere no breach of faith, methinks, in such a case. Howbeit, no matter: in the first place I thought it most likely he came by me in no such sinister fashion, but simply took him in an orphan babe as any man might who hath a Christian heart; in the second, I cared not a straw for the manner of my getting so I could but discover it and my getter."

"And did you?"

Burlingame shook his head. "I found three or four old people that had known Salmon and remembered his ungrateful charge: one told me, when I revealed my name, 'twas grief at my loss killed the Captain, and grief o'er his killed Melissa. I yearn to credit that story, for fear my conscience might accuse me else of fleeing such an awful responsibility; yet there is a temper wont to twist the past into a theater-piece, mistake the reasonable for the historical, and sit like Rhadamanthus in everlasting judgment. This man, I tell you reluctantly, was of that temper. In any case none knew aught of my origin save that Captain Salmon had fetched me home from somewhere, on his vessel. I asked then, who was the Captain's closest friend, and who Melissa's? And each of the men among them claimed to be the former, and each of the women the latter. Finally I asked whether any remembered who was the mate on Salmon's ship in those days; but Bristol is a busy port, where men change ships from voyage to voyage, and 'tis unlikely they'd have known were't but one year before instead of thirty. Yet as often happens, in asking someone else, I hit on the answer myself, or if not the answer at least a fresh hope: a man called Richard Hill had been first mate on all five voyages I had made with Captain Salmon, and 'twas my impression, more from their manner with each other than from any plain statement, that he and the Captain were shipmates of some years' standing. 'Twas not impossible he'd been mate on that voyage ten years before, though 'twas a long chance; and if indeed he'd been, why, 'twas certain he'd know more than I about the matter. Of course, for aught I knew, this Hill might be long dead, or finding him as hard a matter as finding my father — "

"I grant you, I grant you!" Ebenezer broke in. "Prithee trust me to appreciate your obstacles without enumeration, save such as advance the story, and tell me quickly whether you overcame them. Did you find this Hill fellow? And had he aught to tell you?"

"You must attend the how of't," Burlingame said; "else thou'rt as much a Boeotian as he that reads the Iliad no farther than the invocation, where the end of't all is plainly told. As't happened, none of my informants recalled for certain this Richard Hill, but two of them, who still were wont to stroll about the wharves, declared there was a Richard Hill in the tobacco fleet. Yet, though he sometimes called at Bristol, they told me he was no Bristolman, nor even an Englishman, but either a Marylander or a Virginian; nor was he a mate, but captain of his own vessel.

"This I took as good news rather than bad. When I had satisfied myself that neither Captain Hill nor farther news of him was to be found in Bristol at that time, I hastened back to London."

"Not to the plantations?" Ebenezer asked, feigning disappointment. " 'Tis unlike you, Henry!"

"Nay, I was ready enough to sail for America," Burlingame replied, "but 'Tis wiser to ask at the carriage-house than to chase off down the road. London is the very liver and lights of the sot-weed trade; it took but half a day there to learn that Captain Hill was in fact a Marylander, from Anne Arundel County, and master of the ship Hope, which lay at that very moment in the Thames with other vessels of the fleet, discharging her cargo. I fairly ran down to the wharf where she lay and with some difficulty (for I had no money) contrived an interview with Captain Hill. But I had no need to ask my great question, for immediately upon hearing my name he enquired whether I was Avery Salmon's boy, that had jumped ship in Liverpool. When we had done shaking our heads at my youthful folly and singing the praises of Captain Salmon (who, however, he told me had died of tumors and not grief), I told him the purpose of my visit and besought him to give me any information he might have on that head.

" 'Why,' he declared, 'I was not Avery's mate in those days, Henry. I know what there is to know of't, and no more.'

" 'And prithee what is that?'

" 'Naught but what ye know already,' said he: 'that ye was fished like a jimmy-crab from the waves of the Chesapeake.' "

"Stay!" Ebenezer cried. "I've ne'er heard you speak of't, Henry!"

" 'Twas as new to me then as to you now," Burlingame said. "I expressed your surprise tenfold and assaulted Captain Hill with questions. When at length I convinced him I was a perfect stranger to the matter, he explained 'twas in the early part of 1654 or '55, to the best of his memory, during a run up the Chesapeake from Piscataway to Kent Island, Captain Salmon's vessel had come upon an empty canoe driven before the wind. The sailors guessed 'twas blown from some salvage Indian and would have taken no further note of it, save that on passing closer they heard strange cries issuing from it. Word was sent to Captain Salmon, who ordered the vessel hove to and sent a boat over to investigate."

"Marry, Henry!" Ebenezer said breathlessly. "Was't you?"

"Aye, a lad of two or three months, stark naked and like to perish of the cold. My hands and feet were bound with rawhide, and on my skin, like a sailor's tattoo, was writ the name Henry Burlingame III, in small red letters. They fetched me aboard — "

"Wait, I pray you! I must assimilate these wonders, that you drop as light as a goose-dung! Naked and tattooed, i'faith! Is't still to be seen?"

"Nay, 'tis long since faded."

"But how come you to be there? Surely 'twas some villainy!"

"No man knows," Burlingame said. "The canoe and the thongs wherewith I was bound bespoke salvagery, yet there's not a salvage in the country knows his letters, to my knowledge, and my skin and scalp were whole."

"Agad!" Ebenezer cried. "What creature is't could bear such malice to a silly babe, that not content to do him to death, must do't in such a hard and lingering fashion?"

" 'Tis a mystery to this day. In any case, Captain Salmon had me clapped under coverlets in his own cabin, where for ten days and nights I hung 'twixt here and hereafter, and fed me on fresh goat's milk. At length my fever abated and my health returned; Captain Salmon took a fancy to me and resolved ere his ship returned to Bristol I would be his son. More than this my Captain Hill knew naught, and though 'twas volumes more than erst I'd known, yet so far from laying my curiosity, it but pricked him up the more. I offered then and there to join the Hope's crew for the voyage back to Maryland, where I meant to turn the very marshes inside out for clues."