John Barth - The Sot-Weed Factor

"An eggplant!" Burlingame murmured.

He did maintaine, that onlie thus did white men prepare the frute of the egg-plant. W chI knewe for a lye.

The Salvage did pleade the houre of night and the season of yeere, but upon my Captains pressing the matter (besides bribing him with some bawble from his wicked pockett), he at last consented to steale an egg-plant and floure from the common store near the Emperours howse. Then departing, he was absent some while, during w chmy Captain pac'd about the hutt, as might a man, whose wife was in travaile, not forgetting to certain him selfe, now & againe, that my sleep was sound & undisturb'd.

Whenas the Salvage did returne, with 2 dry'd egg-plants & a dishful of floure, not to mention an earthen jugg of water, my Captain rewarded him with a second trinkett, and ask'd him to remove him selfe from the hutt, if it pleas'd him, and sett outside, for that white men (as he claim'd) never cook'd there food, but privilie. The Salvage did as he was bid, eager to contemplate his treasures, and left alone, my Captain straightway set to work upon the egg-plant, in the strangest manner I ever did behold. Forsooth, I was that amaz'd, that even some weeks thereafter, here in Jamestowne, what time I set to recording this narrative in my Journall-booke, it was no light matter to realize it was true. For had I not observ'd it my owne selfe, I had never believ'd it to be aught but the lewd construction of some dissolute fancie. Endlesse indeed, and beyond the ken of sober & continent men, are the practices and fowle receipts of those lustful persons, the votaries of the flesh, that still set Venus & Bacchus over chast Minerva, and studie with scholars zeale all the tricks and dark refynements of carnallitie! I blush to committ the thing to paper, even to these the privie pages of my Journall. W chit is my vow, no man shall lay eyes upon, while that I live.

"I say!" Burlingame exclaimed. "The rest of the page is gone, and part of the next! D'ye grasp what it is we have here, Eben?"

"You mean the matter of the Sacred Eggplant, that the Tayac Chicamec spoke of? 'Tis not impossible there's some connection. ."

"I know there is! I'Christ, what this could mean!"

They read on, Burlingame with an expression of voracious, almost painful eagerness, and Ebenezer with the first stirrings of unease.

For this reason [the narrative resumed after the break] it was to my grand chagrinn, that coming to my senses some houres later, I discover'd I had assum'd in fact, that state w chtheretofore I had feign'd; to witt: a sownd & recklesse sleep. .

"God damn him!" Henry cried.

My repose was broken by the Salvage Guard & Keeper, and starting up, I found the Sunne alreadie risen. From without our hutt there came to my eares, the whooping & hollowing of many Salvages, and I guess'd, they were assembl'd for my Captains lustie tryall of there Princesse. My Captain, when I look'd at him, was fullie cloth'd, and no signs of the Aubergine or other things being apparent, I wonder'd whether the scene I had witness'd in the night just past, was a mere fantastick dreem, such as men are wont to suffer, when there death is neare to hand. .

"Then he did witness it," Ebenezer offered, "whate'er it was."

"But the page is gone!"

It is true, the Journall went on, that when we left the hutt, under the eye of our Salvage Guards, and were led to the publick square, my Captain shew'd some hardshipp in walking, as if loath to keep his leggs together; but this deflciencie c das well be attributed to feare (w chit is well known, can loose a mans hold upon his reins), as to any strange behaviour of the evening past. And this former seem'd the more likelie, for that the scene before us was aught but a consoling one.

Round about the court-yard, in a circle, stood the people of the towne, hollowing & howling in a fearsome manner. Within the large circle thus form'd was a smaller, made up of tenne or a dozen of the Emperours Lieutenants. These were greate brawnie Salvages, bedeck'd in feathers and paynted most grewsomelie, that donn'd in naught save these adornments, did leap and daunce about, issuing feerce screames, and brandishing there Tomahawkes. In the center of this smalle ring sat the Emperour Powhatan, rays'd above the crowd on a loftie chaire, and before him, upon a manner of altar stone, lay Pocahontas, stript & trust with throngs of hyde for the heethenish rites. Yet maugre the rudenesse of her position, the Princess seem'd not a whit alarm'd, but wore an huge smyle upon her face. Whereat I guess'd that this vile manner of presenting maidens for betrothal must be in common use among the Salvage nations, to such extent that, Habit being master of us all, they had got even to relish it, in there pagan sinfullnesse. W chnotwithstanding, I was fill'd with trepidation, the more for that, marking the considerable manlinesse of those Salvages, that sprang about all nakedlie, and recalling the modest endowment of my Captain (that for all his boasting, I had seen privilie to be but passing well equipt for Venereal exercise), I sawe no hope of his making good where they had fail'd. Forsooth, I had been in his place, I s hdnot have been able to summon the most tryfling manlinesse, for knowing those evil Tomahawkes stood readie to breake my head at the first sign of deficiencie.

Directly they spy'd us, all the Salvages redoubl'd there commotion. The folk in the greate circle showted and clapt hands, the Lieutenant-Salvages leapt and hopt, even Pocahontas contriv'd to joggle about on her pedestall. W chmovements, considering the manner wherein she was trust and tether'd, shew'd uncommon suppleness of limb, and readiness for whatever might ensue.

We were fetch'd into the small circle and station'd before the altar of Venus (to look whereon brought the blush to my cheeks), whereupon the Salvages lay'd hands upon my Captain, and with one jerk brought his breeches low. From where I stood, w chchanc'd to be behind him, the sight was unprepossessing enow, but the Salvages before all suddenlie put by there clamour. The Emperour shaded his eyes from the morning Sunne, the better to behold him, and Pocahontas, maugre her bonds (w chnetted her as fast as those, that Vulcan fashion'd for his faithless spouse), this Pocahontas, I say, came neare to breaking her necke with looking, and the unchast smyle, that erst had play'd about her mowth, now vanish'd altogether.

My Captain then turning half around to see, Whether I was at hand? I at last beheld the cause of all this wonder, and as well the effect of his magick of the night past — the w chto relate, must fetch me beyond all bownds of taste & decencie, but to withhold, must betray the Truth and leave what follow'd veil'd in mystery. To have done then, my Captains yard stood full erect, and what erst had been more cause for pity than for astonishment, was now in verie sooth a frightful engine: such was the virtue of his devilish brewe, that when now his codd stood readie for the tilt, he rear'd his bulk not an inch below eleven, and well-nigh three in diameter — a weapon of the Gods! Add to w ch, it was all a fyrie hue, gave off a scent of clove & vanilla, and appear'd as stout as that stone whereon its victim lay. A mightie sownd went up from the populace; the Lieutenants, that had doubtlesse been the Princesses former suitors, dropt to there knees as in prayer; the Emperour started up in his high seate, dismay'd by the fate about to befall his daughter; and as for that same Pocahontas, she did swoone dead away.

Straight leapt my Captain to his work, whereof I can bring myself to say naught save this: Mercifull, mercifull, the Providence, that kept the heethen maid aswoon, while that my Captain did what none had done before! And so inordinatelie withal, that anon the Emperour begg'd for an end to the tryall, lest his daughter depart from this life. He declar'd my Captain victorious, rescinded the decree of death hanging over us, dispers'd the companie, and had Pocahontas remov'd to his howse, where for three days thereafter she hung in the balance twixt life & death. A banquet was then prepar'd for us, whereat Powhatan express'd his intent to marrie his daughter to my Captain, inasmuch as no Salvage in his trybe c dmatch his Virilitie. My Captain declyn'd, whereupon the Emperour wax'd wroth, and w dhave return'd us to our hutt, had not my Captain offer'd to instruct him in that mysterie, whereby he had so increas'd him selfe. This more than satisfy'd the Emperour, that s hdhave been long past such vanitie, and it was on the best of terms, that we set out at last for Jamestowne. With a troup of Salvages to assist us by the way.