John Barth - The Sot-Weed Factor

McEvoy bowed, "I pledge my life on't, lady."

"And you, Henrietta," Mrs. Russecks said more sternly. "Bear in mind that the mill is a perilous place for novices."

"Methinks I know my way around it well enough, Mother!"

"Very well, but mind your step and stay alert for trouble." With this advice the couple left, and Mrs. Russecks turned to Ebenezer with a proud smile.

"Fetch me into the house, Sir Benjamin, and we'll attend to the pressing business that so distracts you."

Ebenezer sighed; it was chilly outside, and he was blind neither to Mrs. Russecks's beauty nor to her flattering invitation. Nevertheless, as soon as they were seated in her parlor he declared that he was not Sir Benjamin Oliver nor any other knight, and that neither he nor his companion were traveling in any official capacity.

"As for my actual identity, I am ashamed of't, but I'll tell it readily — "

"Indeed you shan't!" Mrs. Russecks commanded, with some heat. "Methinks thou'rt younger in the ways of the world than becomes thy years! Do you take me for a whore, sir, that swives all comers in the stews?"

"Prithee, nay, ma'am!"

"You've seen what a gross, unmannered bully is my husband," she went on sharply. "Once in my youth I grew to despise the race of men, and to loathe in myself those things that aroused their lust and mine: 'twas in contempt of life I married Harry Russecks, so that every time he forced me like a slavering brute of the woods, he'd strengthen twice over my opinion of his sex."

"Mercy, ma'am! I scarce know what to think! Many's the time I've pitied woman's lot, and reviled men's coarseness; yet a man is nine parts nature's slave in such matters, methinks, and in any case I assure you not all men are so coarse as your husband." He stopped, covered with confusion by the unintended insult. "What I mean to say — "

"No matter." Mrs. Russecks's face softened; she smiled and laid her hand upon Ebenezer's. "What you just told me, I knew in my heart all along, and soon saw the folly of my marriage. Yet I was and still am victim of another folly, that I got like a family illness from my father: I was too proud to renounce a grand course once I'd embarked on't, e'en though I saw 'twould lead to naught but pain and revulsion. In lieu of admitting my blunder and leaving the Province, I resolved to make the best of't; I vowed I'd lose no opportunity to redeem myself for scorning good men along with bad. That, sir, explains your presence here, and what you no doubt took to be immodest encouragement on our part — I feel more pity for Henrietta than for myself, inasmuch as 'twas none of her choice to live with such a jealous and vigilant despot. Yet albeit I own we've behaved like tarts, sir, I beg you remember that we're not: 'twas to a knight I opened my door and e'en good Guinevere played harlot for a knight! To tell me now thou'rt only Ben the factor's son, or Slim Bill Bones the sailor — 'twere less than delicate, Sir Benjamin, were it not?"

While speaking she played distractedly with Ebenezer's hand, stroking down each bony finger-top with her index nail; at the end she raised her excellent brown eyes, furrowed her brows in whimsical appeal and smiled a little crooked smile. Ebenezer's cheeks burned; his nose and eyebrows jerked and twitched.

"Dear lady — " It was time to make a move; he must embrace her at once, or throw himself upon his knees to protest his ardor — but though the feelings so at odds within his breast were strangely different from those he'd known in other passionate impasses, he was unable to bring himself to do what the moment called for. "I beg you, madam: take no offense — "

Mrs. Russecks drew back. Bewilderment was followed at once in her expression by disbelief, which gave way in its turn to wrath.

"Prithee, don't misunderstand — "

" 'Tis not likely I shall, d'ye think?" she said furiously. "Or will you tell me thou'rt a Christian saint disguised, that hath such a nice regard for husband's honor!"

"He is a boor," Ebenezer assured her. "What horns he wears, he hath more than earned by's callous — "

"Then the truth is plain," she snapped. "Your friend stole the filly and left you to ride the foundered jade!"

"Nay, madam, b'm'faith! I've no wish to change places with McEvoy, believe me!"

"Hear the wretch! He finds the pair of us sour to's taste, nor scruples to tell us so to our faces! And you call my husband callous?"

Up to this point Ebenezer had spoken gently, even timidly, in his fear of wounding the lady's pride. But among the curious new emotions that possessed him was a strange self-assurance, such as he'd never felt before in a woman's presence. He scarcely bothered to wonder where he had acquired it, but on the strength of it caught her hand, held it fast against her efforts to wrench free, and pressed it against his chest. "Feel my heart!" he ordered. "Is that the pulse of a Christian saint? Can you believe I sit here coldly?"

Mrs. Russecks made no reply; an uncertain, irritated disdain took the place of her initial anger.

Ebenezer spoke on, still clasping her hand. "Thou'rt no child, Mrs. Russecks; surely you can see you have possessed me with desire! Nay, only twice in my life have I burned so, and both times — i'Christ, the memory scalds me with remorse! — both times I came within an ace of committing rape upon the woman I loved! And 'sblood, thou'rt handsome — by far the comeliest lady I've seen in Maryland! Thou'rt the masterwork whereof your Henrietta's but a copy!"

In the face of these protestations, the miller's wife could maintain but a pouting remnant of her ire. "What is't unmans you then?" She could not restrain a smile, or Ebenezer a blush, when even as she spoke she noticed that he was in a condition far from unmanly. "Or better, since I see for a fact thou'rt ardent, what holds you back? Is't fear of my husband?"

Ebenezer shook his head.

"Then where's the rub?" Her voice began to show fresh irritation. "Is't that ye fear I'm poxed like many another strumpet? 'Tis a wondrous prudent ravisher, i'faith, that asks his victims for a bill o' health!"

"Stay, you slander yourself, madam! I swear to Heav'n this is the rarest opportunity of my life: who wins thy favors wins a splendid prize; the world must regard him with awe and envy! 'Twere a rare, a singular pleasure to accept so sweet a gift; 'tis a rare and singular pain to say you nay, and would be e'en if my rejection were no insult — " He paused and smiled. "Dear lady, you little dream the whole and special nature your appeal bears for me!"

His manner was so cordial, his compliment so curious, that Mrs. Russecks's face softened again. Once more she demanded an explanation, and even threatened in a vague way to denounce the poet to her husband as an impostor if he would not be candid with her, but her tone was more coaxing than annoyed.

"You upbraid yourself for having been forward," Ebenezer said, "and declare I contemn you for't; yet the truth is, lady, thou'rt but the more my conqueror for seizing the initiative. I admire your grace, I savor your beauty, but beyond both — How can I phrase it? Methinks you've tact and wisdom enough to deal with my own blundering innocence, which else would make a fiasco of our adventure. ."

"Ah, now, Sir Benjamin, this is no ravisher I hear speaking!"

"Nay, hear me out! I'll not disclose my name, if you must have it so, but there's a thing you must know. 'Tis a thing I'd hide from one less gentle, lest she wound me with't; but you, lady — ah, belike 'tis folly, but I've an image of you surprised, charmed, e'en delighted at the fact — yet infinitely tender and, above all, appreciative. Aye, supremely appreciative, as I should be if — " Bemused by the picture in his mind, Ebenezer would have detailed it further, but the miller's wife cut him short, declaring candidly that her curiosity was now a match for her ardor, and should he deny her satisfaction of the one as well as the other, he must watch her perish upon the spot and suffer the consequences.