James Kelman - A Chancer

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Tammas is 20, a loner and a compulsive gambler. Unable to hold a job for long, his life revolves around Glasgow bars, living with his sister and brother-in-law, betting shops, and casinos. Sometimes Tammas wins, more often he loses. But gambling gives him as good a chance as any of discovering what he seeks from life since society offers no prospect of a more fulfilling alternative.

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Tammas smiled. Anything doing down by?

Fuck all! Catering job in the Channel Islands right enough, if you’re interested — commis chef.

Commis chef?

That’s what they call a learner. Bum wages but the conditions arent too bad. Bags of fucking sun and all that, plenty of nooky! They’ll give you it all except the fucking cash!

Tammas chuckled.

I’m no kidding ye Tammas — a brother of mine used to be in the game and he told me all about it. Like a fucking concentration camp so he says, these hotels.

Hh. . They continued along in silence for several moments. Tammas sniffed and said: Any word of Peterhead yet?

Naw, just the same Tammas, mainly concreters and brickies they’re starting; they’re no really fucking interested in sparks; no yet, no for another month or so.

Is that right?

Aye, Christ, you know what like it is.

Tammas nodded, pursing his lips. And after a few moments McCann went on, That’s how I was wanting a word with you, about that other thing, that bit of business I was telling you about.

Tammas glanced at him. McCann had slowed his pace a little and now he paused and stopped outside a newsagent whose side window was full of advertisements written in ink on the backs of postcards. Naw it’s just eh. . McCann lowered his voice, It’s just the fucking debt and that Tammas. I wouldnt want to fuck off out the road and leave her having to face it all on her tod. She’d wind up getting hit for plenty, and I’m no kidding ye.

You’ll be sending her money but surely?

O aye fair enough but by the time you get settled in and all that. You’ll have your fucking lying time, paying off your subs — takes a while to get sorted out I mean fuck sake Tammas it’s no just a case of walking in and that’s you.

Aw I know that.

Ah well. . McCann shrugged.

Tammas cleared his throat, he turned slightly, dropping a mouthful of spit to the pavement, rubbing on it with his shoe. They continued looking at the advertisements for a while, until McCann muttered, I’m getting wet. . and they carried on walking. Both had their hands in their pockets, shoulders hunched, occasionally parting company to keep from obstructing oncoming pedestrians. It was Tammas who broke the silence. There’s a cunt owes me a score, he said.

Eh?

Aye, bastard; owed me it for fucking ages so he has. I cant get it off him at all — pleads poverty every time I see him.

McCann nodded.

The last job I was in — that factory, we used to play cards on the nightshift, Fridays it was for dough, we all had the wages and that, pontoons, fucking great man, once we had done the quota and cleaned the machines, out came the cards — and you could fucking win a few quid as well! Tammas had turned to glance at McCann as they walked: And I’ll tell you something man, if it hadnt’ve been for that fucking — the cards man, if it hadnt’ve been for the cards. . Hh!

McCann nodded and chuckled. Peterhead’ll definitely suit you then Tammas, the fucking cards up there!

Aye, you were saying.

Fuck! they’re mad — crazy! you know what like it is in the building game! Plus cause they’re all staying in these fucking dormitories Tammas they’re all just sitting there, the wages in the pockets and all that, trying to stay out the boozers. No wanting to wind up fucking alkies so out comes the fucking cards and all that — all sorts of schools, brag and poker and fucking ponnies. You name it. Big money too. You’ve got to be fucking careful but, a lot of sharks so there are, cut your bolls off if they catch you pokling.

What?

No holds barred, anybody they catch at the pokle Tammas.

Aw thanks!

Naw, what I mean, even a cunt like Auld Roper, snatching a wee look at your dominoes — he’d get that fucking stick of his broke over his head!

Ah come on!

Naw, Christ Almighty, it’s fucking serious stuff.

Hh!

And I’m no fucking kidding ye!

Tammas nodded.

They had reached a junction beyond where McCann normally split off to travel to his own street. As the lights changed and they crossed he sniffed and said, Fancy a coffee?

A coffee?

A coffee, aye, up in my house — the wife’ll have brought in some fags; she’ll have been at the post office.

Aw.

Aye so. . you’re welcome.

Tammas shrugged. I’ve got a message to go, otherwise I. . thanks but.

Naw, it’s only I was wanting to have a wee word with you and that.

Aw aye.

About that other thing.

Tammas nodded.

I mean, you’ve got to think about it.

I know — Christ, I have, I have been.

McCann sniffed. He glanced to the side, cleared his throat, then indicating the nearest close he started heading towards it, and Tammas followed a moment later. Naw, he said, that guy I’m talking about, Kenny, he’s gen, straight down the line. And it’s me and you and him just, the three of us, and he says its about fifteen hundred. I mean — it’s good dough Tammas.

Aw I know, I know that.

See that’s how. . McCann stopped. He frowned: You worried about it?

Aye, fuck, hh.

Well you dont have to be.

Tammas shifted his stance, he stared out the close.

Come on we’ll go for a coffee. .

Naw honest Brian, I’ve got that message, it’s for the sister.

McCann shrugged: Suit yourself cause I mean the wife’ll have been out to the post office and all that.

Tammas nodded. Naw, he said, I really better eh. .

Fine; nobody’s forcing you Tammas.

Aw it’s no that man it’s just the sister and that she’s expecting me back I mean Christ, otherwise. .

No problem; no problem. McCann had nodded, then he went on quickly: See it’s just the debt and all that Tammas normally I’m fucking — no kidding ye! but see this past while? Naw, once you get married and all that. The fucking weans too! And the way I’m thinking — straightforward, just fucking — get a few quid, just fucking get a few quid, pay off the debt, get a bit of gear the gether, then off up north, Peterhead, no worries — no worries Tammas, the wife and the weans and that, fine. See I mean that guy I was telling you about he’s gen, he’s gen; I’m no kidding ye — I used to work beside him in the yards. Gen, he’s fucking, straight down the line.

Tammas nodded.

Cause I’ll be honest with you — and I mean it Tammas — if I could get this debt cleared off I’d be away the morrow morning, the morrow morning.

Mm.

McCann was looking at him.

I dont know man, I dont know. I just eh. .

Look, every cunt gets worried about something like this. But when the time comes you’re fine, you fucking handle it I mean, Tammas, I’m no fannying you.

Aw I know, I know that; but it’s just — I dont know man.

What? What d’you mean?

Naw, just. .

What? What you thinking? Tell us.

Tammas nodded then he sniffed.

Come on, tell us.

Aw Christ man I dont know.

Is it just cause it’s thieving and that? Is that what it is? Because it’s thieving?

O! Aye, Christ, I mean, I’ve never fucking done anything like that before I mean Christ screwing a place man, never. Hh! Tammas laughed briefly. He shook his head, cleared his throat. And he stepped to the closemouth to peer outside, before taking a deep breath and blowing the spittle right out towards the gutter. He cleared his throat again, glanced back at McCann. . Did you no think of asking Billy?

Billy?

Aye.

Naw, no really.

O fuck!

Dont worry about it.

Naw it’s no that man I’m. . He shivered suddenly. Wish to fuck I had a smoke!

That’s what I’m telling ye Tammas the wife’ll have some up the stair.

Mm. He began shivering again, and his teeth then chattering till he had to shut his mouth, and he laughed in a sort of fit of gasps for some seconds. He walked a few paces down the close, stopped and turned, shrugging.

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