James Kelman - A Chancer

He went to the lavatory. On his return he halted by the cot. Kirsty was lying on her back with the bedclothes near her waist. Tammas stared at her for several moments, and then he raised her vest and peered down at the scratches on her belly. They were more like scars. There were four of them and they were as though parallel, just beneath her navel. He lifted the vest down to cover them. Her arms were bent at the elbows, the forearms lying vertically. When he raised the bedclothes past her shoulders she made a sighing noise and she turned onto her side, looking towards the wall.

Back in bed he lay for quite a while with his hands behind his head on the pillow. Vi’s arm came onto his chest. Eventually he began stroking it. He turned a little so that he could touch her breasts and he stroked them around the nipples until she was awake, and he slipped his arm beneath her shoulders: Fancy taking the day off?

She chuckled. What time’s it?

Only about 6.

6?

Aye. He turned onto his side, facing into her, the warmth of her, pulling her in to him.

•••

The photographer motioned them in closer together then waved them to the side a bit and back a step. Taking the camera away from his face he straightened up, shaking his head. Naw, he said, it’s no good; yous’ll have to get closer than that.

There was a burst of laughter from the little crowd gathered some twenty yards off by the church wall. Tammas put his arm round the best maid’s shoulders and somebody shouted: No flies on him anyway!

And then came a cheer when Rab drew Rena closer into him, his arm round her waist as she clutched the small bouquet. The photographer was waving his hand about and saying, Fine, that’s fine; now hold it there, fine. And another — fine now fine, and just. . fine, and another. Fine.

Rab edged sideways as if set to say something to Tammas but the man stopped him by raising his hand and signalling. . Just you and the lassie now son — just you and the missus — a nice yin. One for the grandweans!

Another roar then more laughter from the spectators. Rab blushed and he glared at the man. Shoosh, whispered Rena.

I never said anything. . He was shaking his head, he glanced at Tammas.

Tammas shrugged. He and Julie retreated to the edge of the crowd, standing next to the two wee girls who had been bridesmaids.

The reception was being held in the home of Rena’s parents. It was a first storey flat in a red sandstone tenement they lived in, less than two miles from where Rab’s own parents stayed. Once the guests had assembled an uncle of Rena asked for quiet. And he nodded to Tammas.

Well everybody. . Tammas cleared his throat.

Another man called: A bit of order now for the best man.

Tammas waited until the talking stopped. Well. . He cleared his throat again. I’d like to toast the bride. She’s the best looking bride I’ve ever seen. He turned to her and said, Honest Rena, I really mean that. All the best to the two of yous.

He raised the tumbler of sherry he had been given aloft. There was silence, the faces in the room all gazing at him. It was crowded. The door open widely and people standing visible out in the lobby. Here’s to Rena! he cried, and he swallowed the sherry in a gulp.

Somebody called: To Rena!

Then others were saying her name and the toasts being made. Rena’s mother was looking at him. He stepped to the side, leaning to whisper to Rab, I’m needing a slash man be back in a minute.

He kept his head bowed while making his way through the folk in the room. Betty was by the doorway, standing just to the side of an old lady who stared at him. Hullo Betty, he said.

O Tammas. .

Nice wedding.

It was really beautiful.

Aye. He nodded, took out his cigarettes. The old lady was still staring at him. He smiled at her and turned slightly, scratching at his ear.

You didnt say very much for the speech.

I know. Hh. Have you seen Billy at all?

Billy. I’m no really sure if I know him Tammas.

O aye. Tammas returned the cigarettes to his pocket; he fingered the lapels of the dress jacket. Have to change out of this stuff. I better eh. . this blooming bowtie!

I think it looks nice.

The bowtie? Tammas frowned at her. It feels like a windmill or something. And the trousers they gave me; could hardly get my legs into them they were that tight!

But it’ll be nice for the photographs.

Aye, I suppose so. Listen Betty I’ll see you later on and then — maybe have a dance if it’s okay. He frowned. I’m supposed to look after the best maid.

Betty nodded. Wee Julie, she looks awful thin in the dress. It’s nice right enough but she was really shivering for the photographs.

Aye. . Tammas took out his cigarette again. After a moment he touched her on the side of the arm and said, I’ll see you later Betty.

A large walk-in press was being used as a cloakroom. There was no snib on the door and he had to grip the handle while changing trousers. When he had his own suit on and the dress one on the hanger, he pushed open the door and peered out. A group of kids was clustered by the bathroom door; also a young woman with a baby in her arms. She glanced at him as he passed along, and he nodded to her, before opening the front door and stepping out.

There was a pub about two hundred yards down the street and he sat in the bar for more than forty minutes, sipping at a pint of heavy, watching television.

The guests were queuing for food when he arrived back, a line of them filing along the lobby and in through the kitchen doorway, passing the tables where all the bowls and plates of things were heaped. Folk were either serving themselves or being given selections by two middle aged women. John was near the head of the queue and he waved to Tammas. Tammas returned the wave but continued along the lobby. In the front room different groups had formed, people chatting together while eating or drinking. Over near the bow windows Rab and Rena had been surrounded, mainly by younger folk, including both Betty and Julie. Behind them Tammas could see Billy listening to something Mrs McCorquodale was saying.

And Uncle Gus was gesticulating at him from the side of the room and calling, Hey. . psst — Tammas.

He was standing next to a display cabinet. A bottle of sherry and a half bottle of whisky plus a few empty tumblers were on top of it, also a big plate in use as an ashtray. Uncle Gus was pointing at the sherry: Hope you can drink this cause the whisky’s done and I dont see much else.

There’s a boozer down the street, said Tammas. Nick out for a pint; that’s what I’ve just done. They’ve got an off-sales as well.

An off sales. . mm, aye. Uncle Gus nodded. Seems a bit out of order but: bringing a carry out to a wedding! Still, a bottle of bloody sherry’ll no go very far.

Biblethumpers, muttered Mr McCorquodale, appearing suddenly. What else d’you expect?

Hey Boab, he’s saying there’s a boozer just down the street a bit.

Good. Mr McCorquodale glanced at Tammas: Son, d’you know what a biblethumper is?

Sssshh Boab. .

And by the bye, you should have been getting things organised, no skipping out for pints. Mr McCorquodale poured himself a sherry then topped up Uncle Gus’s tumbler.

Tammas nodded.

And did you just forget it or what? the speech. . Mr McCorquodale was returning the bottle to the display cabinet.

I didnt really have it worked out properly.

Ah well you should have shouldnt you.

Leave the boy alone, said Uncle Gus, I’ve done the same myself.

Have you? When was that?

Och! Uncle Gus shook his head, pursed his lips and drank some sherry. Plenty of times.

Plenty of times?

Och aye, Christ.

Hh! Mind you. . Mr McCorquodale smiled, It probably saved us getting a bloody sermon, if the speeches had all carried on.