James Kelman - A Chancer

They walked along a short corridor into a fairly narrow room where a woman was serving coffee and tea and a variety of snacks from behind a counter. Half a dozen tables with about four chairs round each stood near to the opposite wall. Mostly women were there, young women, sitting chatting or else gazing up at the large television set on a high shelf up from the counter. John had ordered coffees and two chocolate biscuits; he carried them to where Tammas was standing, and he indicated two empty chairs. No fancy a seat? he whispered.

Naw. Tammas took the coffee and the biscuit from him, headed towards the door at the top end of the room. When he laid his hand on the handle John frowned and said quietly, Tammas, no fancy sitting down in here?

Naw, no here.

John murmured, All the women and that I mean. . see that wee blonde sitting down there near the door — naw man no kidding ye but she was looking, she was looking, no kidding ye, when I was up there at the counter and that, honest man I’m no kidding ye.

Tammas nodded as he opened the door. They’re all brass-nails, he whispered. Every one of them man they’re on the game.

What?

Aye. . He held the door ajar for John to come in then closed it quietly.

The other room had been quite noisy because of the television and this room was also noisy, but the noise came from the game of cards taking place. Some twenty or so men were grouped around three sides of a horseshoe table; at the fourth side sat the dealer between his two workers, one of whom was wearing a bunnet while the other wore a sort of fedora. Several poker tables lay idle; at one of them a man sprawled, asleep, his head cradled on his folded forearms.

When they finished the snack they put in £1.50 each for their joint stake. Tammas was to play the cards. The game was chemin de fer. He stood behind the row of spectators who were standing just out from the table. He stood for more than twenty minutes. At first he replied when John spoke but gradually he stopped it and edged in closer to the table. Now that the pubs had closed it was becoming more crowded in the room. Tammas held £1 in his hand. The next chance he got he leaned across one of the seated players’ shoulders and laid it down. And the worker wearing the fedora covered the bet immediately. Tammas stepped back.

About quarter of an hour later their £3 stake was up to £8. John tapped him on the arm. He was holding another two coffees. Thought you might be a bit thirsty, he said.

Aw aye. Ta. . Tammas took the cup; he stood for a moment then he raised it to his mouth but the worker with the fedora waved him way from the table and called: Just in case you spill it son.

Tammas nodded. As he moved away from the table he muttered, I wasnt really feeling like this John.

John led the way to one of the poker tables.

Tammas lighted a cigarette and then sipped at his coffee, gazing back across at the game. John grinned and shrugged. Hey, he asked, much we winning?

Eh, about a fiver I think.

A fiver. Great, great stuff. No fancy splitting?

Tammas smiled.

Naw serious man I mean, no fancy it?

I thought you were kidding.

Christ Tammas when you think about it, Christ, we might end up losing it back again. Fiver’s a fiver I mean that’s two and half each man.

Tammas took the money out of his trouser pocket and peeled off four singles, and gave them to him. John sniffed while lifting them, he put them in his trouser pocket. Then he brought them back out. Look, he said, are you wanting to hang on or what?

Aye.

Okay then I mean. . He shrugged and returned the money.

You dont have to John, I can carry on on my tod.

Naw, he said, naw.

You sure?

Aye. Tell you what, give us a pound back; you take yours as well; so’s if we lose then we’re only losing 50p. Eh?

Good, aye. . Tammas grinned. That’s sense. He stood up and returned to the chemmy.

John was tapping him on the shoulder. It’s after 1 o’clock, he was saying, I’m going — make sure I catch the half one bus from the Square.

Okay man; if I get a turn I’ll come up your place the morrow afternoon.

Today afternoon!

Aye. . You alright I mean or do you need another couple of quid for the fare?

Naw naw, it’s okay Tammas.

You sure?

Aye.

Outside of the immediate space round the table the gaming room was deserted now; but among those present a few were spectating, mainly losers. Tammas was sitting on a seat at one of the smaller sides of the table. From a peak of £24 his money had declined to £1, and it had been more than twenty minutes since he had managed to get a bet on. The bank travelled back to him. About to let it pass he shrugged and tossed in one of the 50 pence pieces. The dealer grimaced. The worker wearing the fedora hat — his name was Deefy — turned to mutter: It’s getting a bit late for fifty pence pieces young yin. It’s just prolonging the agony.

Tammas hesitated.

A man sitting farther along smiled suddenly and pushing three singles £1 notes onto the centre of the baize said: Since you’re no everybody son.

The other worker returned the man the 50 pence piece. The dealer nodded: Fine Erskine. . right lad it’s a three pound box.

The bet was covered at once and he flicked the first card of the bank to the man called Erskine; but he passed it straight on to Tammas, face down. And the second was flicked to him directly.

The bank’s opponent asked for a card and was dealt a 10. Tammas showed a pair of 2’s and won. He won the next hand also, and the bank now had £12 going onto the third round. Erskine gave him a wink as he reached for the cards. Two 4’s. Turning them face up immediately he called: Natural.

Is a winner, replied his opponent, throwing his cards in.

The dealer collected the £24, deducting £3 house-puggy which he folded and slid through a slot on the edge of the table. Okay lads, he called, there’s twenty one quid to go; all or any part.

The previous loser quickly bankoed the sum. On receiving his cards he asked for another; he was given a 7.

Tammas was showing 6; after a moment he also asked for another card and he was dealt a 5. Aw Christ, he said.

The other man shook his head and grunted: Dont worry about it son. And he threw down his cards, a 3 and a 10 to go with his 7, which all totalled 0.

Brilliant play: laughed Erskine. Your one’s a winner kid — you did the right thing taking a card. Here. . He opened a packet of thin cigars and tossed one across the baize.

Tammas grinned and struck a match to light it.

The loser was counting a wad of notes onto the pile in the centre of the table. The dealer raised his head, he turned to Tammas: What you doing son, you wanting any money out?

Naw, it’s alright.

The dealer glanced at the loser. Okay Davie, you’ve got the bet.

When the cards had been dealt the man spread his calmly, showing two 4’s. Natural, he said.

Same. Tammas showed a 3 and a 5.

Jesus Christ!

The dealer frowned at him.

Deefy called: It’s a good paddle Davie.

Good paddle! Hh! The guy turned his head, he reached into his pocket and got out a cigarette, and lighted it.

Okay. . The dealer tapped the table then dealt the cards from the shoe. He looked at Davie who shook his head, and he turned to Tammas who spread his two cards on the baize, showing 7.

Aw for fuck sake! Davie stood up from his seat and threw in his cards. He sat back down again, put his elbow on the table and laid his chin in the palm of the hand.

The money and the cards were still lying on the baize. The dealer and the two workers had sat back on their seats and were lighting cigarettes. Eventually the dealer sat forwards, put the cigarette in his mouth and lifted the money, counted it, extracted the puggy and folded it into the slot. He glanced at Erskine.