Adam Levin - The Instructions

“And this is the kind of thinking I want to put a stop to. I must put a stop to it before the damage becomes permanent. So I’ve decided that, along with a few other measures, a goodwill gesture on my part is in order. A gesture to show all of you that the school is on your side, is here to protect you. That we are not here to punish you for acting in ways that you feel you must act in order to remain safe. Thus: amnesty. Amnesty to show all of you that I know — that Aptakisic knows — that you are in a compromised position, that you are not acting out of malice, but rather attempting, however misguidedly, to survive. A goodwill gesture to show you that we understand you: that is the beginning. That will grant us all a fresh start. And I believe this schoolwide rash of misbehavior, the fistfights and detention-skipping as well as the graffiti, and this nonsense with the scarves — because they have not for the most part been committed by the malicious few, but the endangered many… I believe this misbehavior will cease. By the end of next week, the graffiti will have been cleaned up, and by the end of the month we’ll have security cameras installed throughout school. Those few malicious students who are causing all these problems will be neutralized, if not expelled. The good ones will feel safe again.”

Here, Brodsky popped a toasted-coconut donut hole. He chewed it vividly behind an all-lips smile, nodding his head with each clench of his jaw, his chomping and swallowing way louder than necessary. I knew it wasn’t possible to like donut-holes that much, but what I wasn’t sure of was whether he was he trying, with his dumbshow, to infect me with enthusiasm, or if he meant to cue approval from me that he believed already imminent. Either way, he was taking too much for granted.

I said, Why’d you just tell me all that stuff?

He showed me his pointer and his Adam’s apple bobbed. He sucked a flake of stuck coconut off the front of his teeth. “I thought you’d be happy to hear it,” he said.

Why would I be happy to hear it? I said.

His big pink head deluminesced a little, but except for that loss of candle-power, the question didn’t seem to deflate him like I wanted it to. “To begin with, as I began before, you played a big role in my decision-making process, and credit is due to you. If I failed to express that—”

I didn’t ask you for amnesty, I said. I said, I definitely didn’t ask you for cameras.

“Not by name,” said Brodsky, “but in spirit, I think. I’m not certain, here, why you want to deny that. I heard how you helped out in the Cage yesterday, and your actions speak volumes.”

What exactly do you think my actions say?

“They tell me you want us to be on good terms, that you want — as we discussed at our meeting yesterday — you want to help me. That you want to make Aptakisic safer.”

I think my actions might’ve bumbled their lines a little, I said. What I did yesterday was demonstrate that I could help you — that if you get rid of the Cage, I will help you.

“Did you not believe me when I said I wasn’t bargaining, Gurion?”

He seemed more entertained by this than he should have.

That was before you knew I could do what you pretended to believe I could do, I said.

“No, Gurion. I pretended nothing yesterday. I reached out to you, and I did so in good faith. I was honest with you.”

Reach out by getting rid of the Cage.

“It can’t happen.”

Fire Botha, I said.

“Your biggest backer?” he said. And laughed. “Mr. Botha admires you, Gurion.”

Tch, I said.

“After school, yesterday, after I’d discussed with him what you and I had talked about regarding Scott Mookus, he described what you’d done in the Cage. He said he’d never before seen the students behave so well.”

He acted more like he’d never seen them behave so badly, I said.

“He said that, too. He even admitted some culpability for the chair-scooting, but claimed that you, Gurion, and I am quoting directly, ‘have shown him the error of his ways.’ I was, I think, even more surprised than you look right now. Mr. Voltz and Mrs. Sepper were also impressed. But where they left off, Mr. Botha did not. He suggested that you might be ready to move on. He thinks you no longer require what the Cage has to offer.”

I nearly jumped from my chest, but I swallowed me down. My voice stayed level.

He just wants to be done with me, I said. I said, He’s trying to railroad me.

“Railroading usually leads toward locked rooms, Gurion.”

Are you in on it? I said.

“What a way to speak. Back up a second. I understand you believe yourself and Mr. Botha exist in some irrevocable state of enmity, but I’m certain you’ve got it wrong. After we discussed Scott Mookus, and after Mr. Botha finished praising your behavior, he, without prompting, explained that he understood the reasons behind this scooting thing you were all doing.”

You guys understand a whole lot, I said. There’s so much understanding going on—

“He said that yesterday morning, during announcements, Scott had told everyone that he would be singing with Boystar, and Mr. Botha had not believed it — he thought Scott was confused. And he had assumed that the rest of you had thought so too. But. He said that now he realized that all along, the lot of you had known that Scott would sing, and that that was why you had reacted with the scooting behavior when he took away your pep rally privileges. And then , Gurion, then Mr. Botha told me that he thought hearing Scott sing at the pep rally could only be good for the morale of the rest of the Cage students, and so he would allow all of you to go to the pep rally. And I did not prompt him to say any of these things. He said it all out of the goodness of his heart. What do you think now?”

I think he warped everything that happened yesterday, I said, including the basic sequence of events. I think he just wants me out of the Cage. I said, He’s trying to wash his hands of me.

“And I’m sure you’re incorrect, but let’s say you’re right. That you’re right about his motives. What if I remove you from the Cage, anyway?”

Now you’re threatening me? I said. I said, I thought you were reaching out.

“And I thought I’d just offered you a bargain. What quarrel could you possible have?”

It’s no bargain to keep me from my friends, I said.

“Maybe it is,” he said. “From some of them. Maybe some of your friends hinder your education, put you at risk. Your father seems to think so — that’s what he told me over the phone the other day. I think separation from them will be good for you. You’ll make new friends.”

I can make new friends whenever I want, I said.

“Be sensible,” he said. “Who’re those pastries in the napkin for?”

They’re donut holes, I said.

“They’re for your girlfriend. She’s very talented, by the way, June Watermark, a very intelligent girl. And more to the point: she’s not in the Cage. She’s in all of the gifted classes we offer for seventh-graders, classes you would certainly be placed in, were you not in the Cage.”

I said, You can’t use June against me.

“ Against you, Gurion? If anything, I’d think she’d play carrot to the Cage’s stick.”

Don’t give away your carrots, I thought.

I said, Stop trying to arrange me.

“I’m offering you an incentive to be good,” he said. “Yes,” he said, slapping the desk, “I wasn’t certain before, but talking through this with you — now I see I was right. You need an incentive, not a deterrent. Deterrents backfire with you. They make you resent us. This is the right incentive. It’s all over your face. You should see yourself. I’ll file the papers this afternoon. You’ll be out of the Cage on Monday. You won’t be going back in, either. And we’ll put you on the regular STEP system. We will no longer damn you with our low expectations.”