Stephen Dixon: 30 Pieces of a Novel

He said in the car while she was kissing his hand, “I wish I could kiss your hand too, but I’m driving. Put it by my mouth but not over my eyes?” He said later in the car, “Even with this traffic, I don’t know when I’ve felt so good. It must be the company, and I’m not talking about the cats. Say something original, right?” He said later in the car, “I know this is sort of sudden, but something I would really like is my mother to come up for a few days, let’s say a week, to make the trip worthwhile for her. I just don’t want her sticking it out in the city all summer while I’m enjoying the pleasant temperatures and smells and sights and stuff up there.” He said in the restaurant after she put down the sandwich she was eating, “You look beautiful, chewing food, not chewing food, in every way with or without food , even your swallowing. I’ve never seen you not look beautiful; what can I say? Again, silly talk, huh? and I should be whispering it.” He said, when she was about to switch radio stations in the car, “Please, I think it’s Sibelius, a symphony, but I want to know which number, and it’s not one I think I’ve heard. We can always hear the news. And this slow movement I can imagine myself putting on at night while walking my very young baby around the apartment to get her to sleep.” He said in the kitchen, “You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking or what you want to ask me. I’m gonna guess. Or I’ll just give the answer. Yes, I think this place is great and I couldn’t be more delighted at being here, I swear I’m not just saying it, so whatever it’s worth to you, I’m glad to give my half of the rent. Now come on, food’s about ready, let’s eat.” He yelled up the stairs, “Really, Sally, don’t you want to have dinner? After a certain evening hour passes, my starved stomach turns into a fortress, and you’ll have to decipher that on your own upstairs or come to the table to find out what it means.” He said to his mother on the phone, “Hi, how are you, did it get as hot in the city as they predicted, not that you need reminding of it if it did? Listen, I have something good to tell you. First off, we’re here, safe, trip was easy, cats didn’t take it badly, and the place and air and everything here is wonderful, and I don’t say that to rub it in. We want you to come stay with us for a week, which would really mean seven days and six nights, though several hours of two of those days you’d be traveling. I’ll make the plane reservations from here. Just let me know when you can come — any other week but the one ending with July seventeenth in the weekend, as that’s when Sally’s mom will be here — and I suppose I’ll need your American Express card number and the expiration date.” He said to Sally at the table, “I still can’t believe my luck in knowing you. I know ‘luck’ might be the wrong word for it, and I’d never go so far as to say ‘blessed.’ But that’s how I feel, somewhere in between lucky and blessed. I can’t guarantee I’ll always feel like this but I bet I always come back to it if we stick together, what do you say?” He said in bed, “Your skin. I’m sure you’ll say or think this is another of my silly inane compliments you’d rather not hear and I should have quashed, but it’s so soft and I love running my hand over it. There’s not an unsmooth spot anywhere except on your head, where there are a couple of bumps that should be looked into, and that’s more your scalp than your skin, if we can distinguish them.” He said later, in bed, “Because I almost always say it, I’m going to say it, but you don’t have to respond to it in any way: good night.” He said after he’d had a series of short dreams and she was probably asleep, “Sally, if you’re up, do you think you’d like to make love again? I would, but if you’re too sleepy to or for any other reason don’t want to — and I’ll only make this request once and after that I promise not to bother you with any further entreaties or physical signals — then believe me, it’s okay.” He thinks she said in his dream, “Did we forget something?” and dropped her bathrobe, had nothing on, and joined him in bed. He said over the side of the bed, “You’re not lying there, I hope.” He said down the stairs, “Sally, you okay? You’re not feeling sick or anything? Because if you are, let me know if I can help you.” He said after he shook her, “You awake? I know you have a problem with my impulsiveness, but there’s something very important I want to say to you that can’t seem to wait. If you don’t answer me, I’ll assume you think it’s the wrong time for me to say it or you’re just too sleepy to listen to it or make heads or tails of it, which would also make it the wrong time to say it, or you’re asleep, which would mean you’re not hearing what I’m saying so of course wouldn’t hear what I think’s so important to say.” He thinks he forgot one of the “he says—.” Oh, so what. Ah , so what? Just stop it.