David Peace - The Damned Utd

The dreams you’d had of that turf, at that stadium, in that shirt, for that badge; the goals you’d score on that turf, at that stadium, in that shirt, for that badge, in front of your mam, in front of your dad, in front of your beautiful new wife, but that day –

28 October 1959 –

You hit the crossbar and laid on a goal for John Connelly, but it wasn’t enough. You were heavily marked and you couldn’t escape. You found no space –

‘His small-town tricks lost on the big-time stage of Wembley Stadium.’

On that turf, at that stadium. For that badge, in that shirt –

The Swedes took you apart; the Swedes beat you 3–2; it wasn’t enough –

Not enough for you. Not enough for the press. Not enough for Walter –

‘ How can I play centre-forward alongside Charlton and Greaves?’ you told him. ‘We’re all going for the same ball! You’ll have to drop one of them .’

But Walter loved Bobby. Walter loved Jimmy. Walter did not love you –

Walter dropped you and so those two games, against Wales at Cardiff and Sweden at Wembley, those two games were your only full England honours –

‘You ever play at Wembley did you, Mr Clough? You ever play at Wembley, Mr Clough? You ever play at Wembley?’

Two-hundred and fifty-one bloody league goals and two fucking caps .

Twenty-four years old and your international career over, the next morning you boarded the train to Brighton with the rest of the Middlesbrough lads. You did not score in that game either. The day after, Middlesbrough travelled up to Edinburgh to play the Hearts. For six hours you sat in a compartment with Peter and you analysed your England game. No cards. No drink. Just cigarettes and football, football, football –

Football, football, football and you, you, you –

Because you knew then you would return –

Return as the manager of England, the youngest-ever manager of England; because you were born to manage your country; to lead England out of that tunnel, onto that pitch; to lead them to the World Cup –

A second, a third and a fourth World Cup –

Because it is your destiny. It is your fate –

Not luck. Not God. It is your future –

It is your revenge .

Bed, breakfast and ignore the papers. Shower, shave and ignore the radio. Kit on, car out and ignore the neighbours. Goodbye family, goodbye Derby. Hello motorway, hello Monday fucking morning; the Monday fucking morning after the Saturday before –

Leeds and Liverpool disgrace Wembley; soccer stars trade punches …

Here comes that fucking book, thrown at them — at us all — with a vengeance. There’s even talk of fans having Bremner and Keegan charged with breach of the peace; all they need now is a willing bloody magistrate, a hanging fucking judge –

Well, here I bloody am; ready and more than fucking willing …

The players should have had the day off today. To recover from Saturday and to rest for Tuesday. But not after Saturday. Not after what they’ve put me through; the headaches they’ve given me and the headaches I’ve got coming; the board meetings and the press conferences; the bloody team to pick for tomorrow night and the fucking contract to write for that bloody Irish fucking shithouse –

I hate bloody Mondays, always fucking have .

* * *

Time does not stand still. Time changes. Time moves fast. Derby must not stand still. Derby must change. Derby must move fast –

The cast remains the same but the scenery changes and the Ley Stand goes up, towering over the Pop Side and the Vulcan Street terracing; it should be the bloody Brian Clough Stand because it would never have left the fucking drawing board had it not been for you, because it was you who raised the expectations of the town, who raised the demand for tickets in the first place. You who envisioned a new stand to take the capacity of the Baseball Ground to 41,000, who looked at the original plans and saw there wasn’t enough space. You who then went to see the managing director of Ley’s steel factory, who told him you wanted eighteen inches of his property for your new stand. You who promised to build him a new fence and move back his pylons, who told him to fuck off at the mention of compensation; that his compensation would be the name of the new stand and season tickets for life. You who’s still got plans to buy all the houses on the opposite side of the ground, because it’s only you who can see further than 41,000, who can see gates of 50,000, can see gates of 60,000, see the First Division Championship, the FA Cup, the European Cup …

It’s only you who has the stomach for this job, who has the balls –

No one else, not Peter, not Longson either, just you –

You and your stomach. You and your balls .

It’s been sixteen years since Derby were in the First Division and the expectations are such that the demand for tickets still cannot be met. Priority is given to folk willing to buy tickets for not one but two seasons. Behind the scenes there are some changes too –

Jimmy Gordon replaces Jack Burkitt as trainer and coach –

‘ It’s a ready-made job,’ says Jimmy. ‘The players are here and the discipline is here. The Boss’s job is to determine the method of playing and my job is then to get it going on the field .’

Time does not stand still. Time changes. Time moves fast –

So Derby changes. Derby moves fast –

You pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling her all the way, all the way up the hill, up the hill to the very top, and you’ll never forget those first few weeks at the top, those first few weeks in the First Division, that first Saturday –

Home to Burnley, Burnley who finished mid-table last season. Home, in front of 29,000 supporters. That’ll change with the results. Soon be gates of 40,000 or more; 40,000 or more to watch your team, your boys :

Green, Webster, Robson, Durban, McFarland, Mackay, McGovern, Carlin, O’Hare, Hector and Hinton .

You’re lucky to draw 0–0 and you would’ve lost had it not been for the quick reflexes of your keeper Les Green, who saves a penalty –

But it’s not luck. Not today. Not ever –

You play good methodical football; on the ground, to feet, passed forward –

You are not out of your depth. You have no vertigo here –

Not today; this first Saturday, these first few weeks, this first month: the first Tuesday away at Ipswich and your first win. Down to Coventry the following Saturday for a draw. Home to Ipswich again and another win. More draws against Stoke and Wolves. Then the 2–0 win away at West Brom –

Next comes the trip back up to Hartlepools in the League Cup –

Time has stood still here. Time has not changed here. Not moved fast:

Still more weeds than grass on the pitch at the Victoria Ground, still as even as a cobbled street, still no floodlights until the eightieth minute. But Hartlepools throw themselves into the match and at half-time it’s only 0–0 –

Second half and McFarland and Carlin score, but Hartlepools pull one back before Hinton finishes things off with a penalty –

This is how far you have come. This is who you are now:

You are named England’s Manager of the Month for August. You are given a £50 cheque and a gallon bottle of Scotch whisky:

‘ His Derby County team is probably the first side since Ipswich under Alf Ramsey or Leeds under Don Revie to make such an immediate impact on the First Division,’ says the spokesman for the sponsors of the award. ‘Clough has succeeded in restoring genuine enthusiasm to one of the great traditional strongholds of football and in re-establishing the soccer prestige of Derby County and the Midlands .’