David Peace - Tokyo Year Zero

‘So if any of you want to impress your new boss,’ I tell them. ‘I suggest you go back to Masaoka, back to the Widow Okayama and back to all the other people who knew Kodaira, his family and his workmates, and you try to trace all these gifts he kept giving away –

‘Because somewhere out there in Shibuya or Shinagawa, in Toyama or Tochigi, are the belongings of our own Shiba body –

‘Excuse me,’ I tell them. ‘Your Shiba body…’

No applause. Just silence. Just blindness…

I walk over to my desk now, my former borrowed desk, and I open the drawer ready to tip out the entire contents into my old army knapsack. But the drawer of my desk is empty –

My desk has already been cleared –

I curse and I curse and I curse…

‘Inspector Hattori took all your things up to Headquarters,’ says Ishida. ‘He didn’t think you’d be coming back here again.’

I hate him. I hate him. I hate them…

I say nothing. There is nothing to say. I leave –

I hate them. I hate them…

Down the corridor. Down the stairs –

I hate them all…

Detective Nishi is standing on the steps outside Atago police station. I am looking in a mirror . Detective Nishi must have ducked out of the room while I was beating the shit out of Detective Kimura, while I was lecturing the hell out of the rest of them. I am looking in a mirror . Detective Nishi is waiting for me. I am looking in a mirror . Detective Nishi wants another word, a last and final word. I am looking in a mirror . But Detective Nishi still looks like shit. I am looking in a mirror . Nishi still looks like he hasn’t slept. I am looking in a mirror . Nishi telling me, ‘I had nothing to do with any of it…’

I laugh. ‘Had nothing to do with any of what, detective?’

‘Your demotion,’ he says. ‘All their complaints.’

I ask, ‘What complaints are they then, Nishi?’

‘Hattori’s complaints to Adachi,’ he says.

I shake my head. ‘I despise all of you.’

‘But I’m on your side,’ pleads Nishi –

On my side. On my side. My side…

I shake my head again. ‘No you’re not, and you never were.’

*

In another ruin, among another heap of rubble, with a last cigarette. Two stray dogs circle and watch me smoke, waiting for me to die. Two stray dogs in dirty coats on skinny legs, their pale tongues hanging loose from their dark mouths. The sparrow sings, the nightingale dances . This ruin, this rubble, was once a grand house and ornate garden owned by a family of Satsuma Samurai stock, a family that had once given the country ministers and generals, given her industrialists and financiers, from a house that once hosted banquets and balls, a garden that echoed to the songs of victory –

And the green fields are lovely in the spring…

Now three more stray dogs appear among the rubble and bark at the other two strays. Three more stray dogs in dirty coats on skinny legs with pale tongues and dark mouths. The five dogs form a pack, circling me. The pomegranate flowers crimson, the willows green-leafed . I watch the dogs circle closer and closer. I watch them sniff the ground. I watch them sniff the air. I watch them circle closer and closer. The first two dogs are the bravest, marching up and down before me, closer and closer. The three newcomers less certain. I put out my last cigarette. Now I pick up a stone –

And there is a new picture .

*

Through the doors of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Headquarters. Up the stairs of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Headquarters. The sudden silence . My shirt is still stuck to my back. My trousers still wet behind my knees. The sudden blindness . I walk along the corridor, the Police Arcade. I walk past the chief’s room. I shouldn’t have come here . I walk past the meeting room. I walk past Room #1. I should have stayed away . I come to Room #2. My former room –

No one will see me. No one will speak to me…

But Room #2 is empty. The Metro Arcade –

No one here. No one here…

I walk over to my desk, my former desk at the head of the room, and I open the drawer to tip out the contents into my knapsack. But the drawer of this desk is empty too –

This desk has also been cleared –

I curse. I curse again…

I go back out into the corridor to look for someone; anyone –

There’s a familiar face on the stair; a familiar face from Room #1 and Inspector Kai’s team. But this familiar face, he sees me first, he sees me first and he looks away, he looks away and he turns away, he turns away to walk away, to walk away the other way –

But he knows. He knows. He knows…

So I stop this familiar face and I bow and I apologize, and he bows back, and I bow again and I apologize again and then I ask him, ‘Where is everyone? What’s happened?’

‘Haven’t you heard?’ he asks. ‘They found Detective Fujita.’

I bow. I thank him. I excuse myself. I turn away –

I walk away. Back down the stairs –

Through the doors. I run –

I run, run, run away.

*

I take my daughter’s red geta clogs in my hand. My wife puts my daughter on my back. I carry my daughter down the garden path. I carry my daughter down the street. I carry my daughter through the mulberry fields on a shortcut to another hospital, a different doctor –

The hospital has just opened. The queue already formed –

I open my police wallet. I tell them it’s an emergency –

I shout. I threaten. I bully. I jump the queue –

The ophthalmologist is a woman –

‘My daughter can hardly open her eyes,’ I tell the doctor. ‘They’ve been like this for almost two weeks. I am concerned it’s something more serious than pinkeye, that it might be a virulent bacterial infection that could permanently damage her eyesight. I have to go away for a time and I’m worried that the situation will worsen while I am away. My wife and I are really at an utter loss…’

‘Don’t worry,’ says the lady doctor. ‘This will clear up in a —’

‘But when?’ I ask her. ‘It’s been nearly two weeks now…’

‘She smells of smoke,’ says the doctor. ‘She’s been sprayed with DDT. The smoke and DDT have aggravated her eyes…’

‘We had no choice,’ I tell her. ‘We had lice…’

‘Please don’t worry,’ says the doctor. ‘The eyes themselves haven’t actually been infected. By the time you return from your trip, I’m sure your daughter’s eyes will have completely recovered…’

‘Isn’t there anything you can give her to hurry things along?’

‘There’s an injection,’ says the doctor. ‘But it’s expensive.’

‘I have money,’ I tell her and I bow. ‘Please, doctor…’

*

Was it Senju or Adachi? They have found Detective Fujita. Adachi or Senju? Do they weep for him? Or do they laugh at him? Senju or Adachi? Is day night? Or night day? Adachi or Senju? Is black white? Or white black? Senju or Adachi? Are the men the women? Or the women the men? Adachi or Senju? Are the brave the frightened? Or the frightened the brave? Senju or Adachi? Are the strong the weak? Or the weak the strong? Adachi or Senju? Are the good the bad? Or the bad the good? Senju or Adachi? Are strikes legal? Or are strikes illegal? Adachi or Senju? Is democracy good? Or democracy bad? Senju or Adachi? Is the aggressor the victim? Or the victim the aggressor? Adachi or Senju? Are the winners the losers? Or the losers the winners? Senju or Adachi? Did Japan lose the war? Or Japan win the war? Adachi or Senju? Are the living the dead? Or are the dead the living? Senju or Adachi? Am I alive? Or am I dead…?