David Peace - Tokyo Year Zero

But in the half-light …

‘All I can tell him though is what I told him the day before, same as I just told you, but that’s when I should have known, that’s when I should have guessed…’

I can’t forget …

‘Because no sooner is Mori gone than some other Metro detective is down at Mita to see me, hauling me back up to HQ, telling me I’ve been a bad cop, that he’s heard all about me, screwing pan-pan girls on my beat, like I’m the only cop in the city who’s ever had a whore on his beat, like he hasn’t got better things to do than chase after me, but he’s relentless, this detective, he never gives up, asking me to confess to this, to confess to that, asking me for the name of my girl, for Noriko’s name, and now I get the picture –

‘He is here to punish me. He is here to warn me –

‘And I don’t know why I ever thought it would work, or why I ever thought it was a good idea, but there’s no way I’m ever going to give him Noriko’s name, so I tell him I was seeing Abe, that I fucked her but I never killed her, and guess what…?

‘He bought it, believed it was Abe –

‘And so they fired me –

‘For conduct unbecoming a police officer, but I didn’t care because they didn’t know about Noriko and that meant she was safe. Safe. Ten days later, I read that this Chief Inspector Mori has been purged by the SCAP and gone insane. Mad. Then I knew I’d made the right decision, knew I’d made the right choice…’

The Matsuzawa Hospital for the Insane …

‘Until today. Until you turned up…’

‘My luck finally ran out …’

‘I knew we should have run, we should have gone as far away as we could from here …,’ and now Murota Hideki’s words trail off, trail off back into the shadows, back into the shadows behind the shabby curtain, behind the shabby curtain that partitions this shabby room, the shadows from the light and the light from the shadows –

The voices from the echoes and the truth from the lies …

This shabby curtain, this shabby country –

‘Are you satisfied now, detective?’ asks Murota Hideki. ‘Are you happy now? Have you heard and seen enough now? Heard enough about me and seen enough of her, have you now, officer?’

‘No,’ I tell him. ‘I want the name of the detective.’

‘Why do you want that?’ he laughs. ‘What for?’

‘Tell me his name,’ I say. ‘And then I’m gone.’

Murota spits, ‘Said his name was Adachi…’

‘Are you satisfied now, detective?’

‘For what that’s worth,’ laughs Murota now. ‘Because no one is ever who they say they are…’

Here in the half-light …

‘Not these days…’

I have nothing more to ask them. My skin is red . Nothing more to say to them. My skin is raw . I pick up my hat. My hand aches . I get up from their low table in their shabby room. My body sweats . In this shabby house, in this shabby city, in this shabby country –

In this place of defeat. In this place of capitulation …

‘You be careful out there, detective,’ Murota Hideki tells me. ‘And you remember my face and remember what happened to me. And remember the name of Chief Inspector Mori and you remember what happened to him. You remember us both now, detective…’

This place of surrender. This place of occupation …

‘I’ll remember you,’ I say. I turn to Tominaga –

In this place of ghosts, this place of ghosts …

I turn to Tominaga Noriko and I say, ‘Thank you, miss.’

And she thanks me back and then she bows her head –

In her yellow and dark-blue striped pinafore dress …

‘And you remember this as well then,’ says Murota Hideki. ‘If you ever tell anyone about her, you ever tell anyone where she is, that she’s here with me, then I will find you and I will kill you…’

In this place of death. In this place of silence …

I turn back to Murota. I bow to him –

In this place of no resistance .

*

My skin is red. Nishi can’t wait . My skin is raw. Nishi wants to know what happened . My hand aches. I say nothing . My body sweats. What did Murota say? The city stinks of shit. I say nothing . Of shit and dirt and dust. Did he know Tominaga Noriko? The dirt and the dust that coats my clothes and coats my skin. I say nothing . That scratches my nostrils and burns my throat. Did he remember her? With every passing jeep and with every passing truck. Nothing, nothing, nothing . I take out my handkerchief. It isn’t her, is it? I take off my hat. No . I wipe my face. The body in the park? I wipe my neck. I’m sorry . I stare up at the bleached-white sky. It isn’t Tominaga Noriko, is it? The clouds of typhus. I’m sorry . The clouds of dust. The case isn’t closed, is it? The clouds of dirt. I’m sorry . The clouds of shit. This isn’t victory, is it? My skin is red. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry . My skin is raw. This is defeat again . My hand aches. Yes . My body sweats. We haven’t won . The city stinks of shit. No. The city stinks of defeat. We have lost again . This city on its knees. Yes . Nishi on his knees. We always lose. Always, always lose …

‘No! No! No!’ I shout. ‘Get off your knees!’

*

I walk up the stairs to Police Arcade. To the smells and the stains . Chief Inspector Adachi is standing in the corridor. There is no escape . Chief Inspector Adachi is looking for me. We should turn him over to Chief Inspector Adachi . Chief Inspector Adachi is waiting for me. The Chief Inspector was here looking for him . Chief Inspector Adachi walks me to the end of the corridor. Looking for Ishida, asking about Detective Fujita . Chief Inspector Adachi pulls me into the bathroom. Said his name was Adachi . Chief Inspector Adachi pushes me into a cubicle. No escape from the smells and the stains …

Chief Inspector Adachi puts me up against the wall –

The smells of ammonia and the stains of shit …

Chief Inspector Adachi stares into my face and then he says, ‘You haven’t been to see Senju yet, have you, detective?’

The smells of amnesia, the stains of blood …

‘You’ve been following me, sir?’

The stains on his hands …

‘I’m not the only one.’

The stains on mine …

‘Then you’ll know I’ve been busy,’ I tell him. ‘Busy searching for the Miyazaki Mitsuko file, chief inspector, sir.’

Now he takes his hands off me. Now he steps back. Now he asks, ‘And which Miyazaki Mitsuko file would that be?’

‘The Tokyo MPD file on the murder of Miyazaki Mitsuko. The file that was signed out just four days ago —’

‘Signed out by whom?’ asks Adachi –

‘Detective Nishi,’ I say. ‘But he denies it and I believe him.’

‘So who do you believe signed it out, detective?’

‘I think Fujita got Ishida to sign it out under Nishi’s name.’

‘Why?’ asks Adachi, but Adachi already knows –

‘Insurance,’ I say. ‘Extortion. Blackmail…’

‘Blackmail?’ he asks, but he knows –

‘You.’

‘And what about you , corporal? Mine won’t be the only name in that file, will it?’

‘I don’t know,’ I tell him. ‘I haven’t read it, have I?’

‘But I wasn’t even the senior officer,’ I say. ‘I need to find the file. I need to read it. And I need to speak to him…’