David Peace - Red or Dead

And Bill dropped the phone –

Bill ran to the door, Bill ran to the car. Bill drove to the ground, Bill ran into the stadium. The telephones ringing. Bill ran up the stairs. The telephones ringing. Bill ran down the corridor. The telephones ringing. Bill banged on the office door. The telephones ringing. The office door of the club secretary. The telephones ringing. Bill pushed open the door. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the bags of mail standing on the floor. The telephones ringing. The bags and bags of mail. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the camp bed in the corner. The telephones ringing. Bill saw the stacks of letters on the desk. The telephones ringing. The stacks and stacks of letters. The telephones ringing. Jimmy not at his desk. The telephones ringing. Among the letters. The telephones ringing. The stacks and stacks of letters. The telephones ringing. Jimmy not in his office. Bill turned around, Bill ran again. Back down the corridor, back down the stairs. Out of the building and around the ground. To the back of the Kop, to the Archway turnstile. And Bill stopped. At the back of the Kop, at the Archway turnstile. Bill saw Arthur Riley. Bill saw the policemen. Bill saw the ambulance. Bill saw the stretcher. And Bill saw the blanket. Under the blanket, the shape of a body. On the stretcher, in the ambulance. By the turnstile, under the Kop. The body of Jimmy McInnes. And then Bill saw his wife. Jimmy’s wife.

…

In the drive, in the car. Bill turned off the engine. Bill got out of the car. Bill walked up the drive. Bill opened the front door. Bill went into the house. Bill shut the door. Bill walked down the hall. Bill went into the front room. And Bill saw Ness. Ness on her feet. Ness looking at Bill. Her hands to her mouth. Ness looking at Bill. And Bill said, It’s Jimmy, love. He’s dead, love.

Dead? How? When?

This morning, love. He hanged himself. Under the Kop.

…

In the drive, in the car. In the night. Bill turned off the engine. In the night. Bill got out of the car. In the night. Bill walked up the drive. In the night. Bill unlocked the front door of the house. In the night. Bill opened the door. In the night. Bill stepped into the house. In the dark. Bill closed the door. In the dark. Bill put down his case in the hallway. In the dark. Bill walked down the hallway to the kitchen. In the dark. Bill sat down at the table. In the dark. Bill put his hand in his pocket. In the dark. Bill took out the chip. The red and white chip. In the dark. Bill stared down at the chip. The red and white chip. In the dark. Bill turned the chip in his fingers. The red and white chip. In the dark. The happiest day of his life. That day on the balcony of Liverpool Town Hall. The best night of his life. That night Liverpool Football Club had beaten Internazionale of Milan at Anfield. The worst night of his life. The night Internazionale of Milan beat Liverpool Football Club at the San Siro, the night Internazionale of Milan knocked Liverpool Football Club out of the European Cup. The saddest day of his life. The day he had stood beneath the Spion Kop. The day they had found Jimmy McInnes. By the Archway turnstile. Hanging under the Kop. The saddest days and the happiest days, the worst days and the best. In the dark. Bill turned the chip again. The red and white chip. And again. The red side and the white side. Two sides, two sides. There were always two sides. Two sides

to every coin, two sides

to every story.

The 1964–65 season had been a long season. The longest season in the history of Liverpool Football Club. A hard season and a tiring season. A season of ups and a season of downs. In the 1964–65 season, Liverpool Football Club had finished seventh in the First Division. But Liverpool Football Club had reached the semi-finals of the European Cup and Liverpool Football Club had won the FA Cup. For the first time in the history of Liverpool Football Club. It had been a long season. But it had been a good season. And it should have been a happy season. But no one was happy.

In the summer of 1965, at the start of the pre-season training. The players of Liverpool Football Club were not happy. The players of Liverpool Football Club had complaints. The players of Liverpool Football Club had grievances.

The directors of Liverpool Football Club had promised every player of Liverpool Football Club a bonus of one thousand pounds if Liverpool Football Club won the FA Cup. The players of Liverpool Football Club had won the FA Cup. The players of Liverpool Football Club expected to each receive their bonus of one thousand pounds, plus their basic wage of thirty-five pounds, less tax. The players of Liverpool Football Club also expected to receive a crowd bonus. Home or away, the players of Liverpool Football Club always received a crowd bonus. One hundred thousand folk had come to Wembley Stadium on Saturday 1 May, 1965. One hundred thousand folk had seen Liverpool Football Club win the FA Cup. And so the players of Liverpool Football Club expected to receive a crowd bonus. Plus their one thousand pounds for winning the Cup, plus their basic wage, less tax. The directors of Liverpool Football Club paid the players of Liverpool Football Club their bonus for winning the FA Cup, plus their basic wage, less tax. But the directors of Liverpool Football Club said Wembley Stadium was neither home nor away. The directors of Liverpool Football Club said Wembley Stadium was a neutral ground. The directors of Liverpool Football Club refused to pay the players of Liverpool Football Club a crowd bonus. And so the players of Liverpool Football Club were not happy. The players of Liverpool Football Club had complaints. The players of Liverpool Football Club had grievances. Complaints about their wage structure, grievances about their salaries. The players of Liverpool Football Club knew their wages were amongst the lowest in the First Division. The players of Liverpool Football Club contacted the secretary of the Players’ Association. The secretary of the Players’ Association came to Anfield, Liverpool, to assist the players of Liverpool Football Club in their negotiations with the directors of Liverpool Football Club. The secretary of the Players’ Association told the local press, the Liverpool press, I deny as emphatically as possible the rumour being put about that the players of Liverpool Football Club are seeking a basic wage of one hundred pounds a week. Their basic wage, far from being in three figures, has not even been half that sum.

Bill Shankly nodded. But Bill Shankly was not happy. Bill Shankly didn’t like money. He didn’t want to talk about money, he didn’t even like to think about money. Bill Shankly knew you needed a roof over your head. A decent roof. Food on your table and clothes on your back. Decent food and decent clothes. For you and for your family. Bill Shankly believed the wages from your work should provide you with a roof. With food and with clothes. A decent roof. Decent food and decent clothes. For you and for your family. But Bill Shankly believed you had to earn your wage. You had to earn that roof over your head. The food on your table and the clothes on your back. That then you would cherish that roof. That food and those clothes. Because you had earned that roof. That food, those clothes. Bill Shankly believed anything else, anything more, was a luxury. Bill Shankly believed a luxury was something you had not earned. Something you had not worked for. Bill Shankly knew such luxuries were also a distraction. A distraction from your work. Bill Shankly didn’t like distractions. He didn’t want to talk about distractions, he didn’t want to even think about distractions –

It would be a pity if differences of this sort were to create unease where no uneasiness has existed in the past, said Bill Shankly. And if these differences, if this unease, were to create distractions. Distractions from our work.