Christian Jungersen - The Exception

During the lunch break, Camilla echoes Anne-Lise’s question and asks Iben if she feels differently about reading interviews after having been interviewed herself. Iben responds at length.

Some days, usually after a holiday or a nice weekend, Anne-Lise steps into the office naïvely hoping that things will soon change for the better. As recently as yesterday evening she told Henrik that she felt much more able to cope, and that she would try and have a proper conversation with everyone. But most of the lunch break is spent discussing Swedish dentists. Three hours into the work week and already Anne-Lise feels limp and dull. Still, she steels herself, making one more effort to join in.

She picks up on something Camilla has just said. ‘Isn’t it expensive to drive to Malmö? The bridge tolls, I mean. You know, something happened to me when …’ She turns to Malene, and just as she is about to continue, Malene interrupts and talks past Anne-Lise to Iben and Camilla. There is no opportunity in their three-way exchange.

Anne-Lise can’t take any more.

Lunch is over and she walks down one of the remote passages behind the library’s East European collection. At these times she always brings her compact; her face must not show that she has been crying.

Twenty minutes later she returns to her desk. Once again, Anne-Lise makes up her mind to ignore them for the rest of the day.

Obviously, an individual can’t ostracise a group. Most likely, they won’t even notice, but that’s not the point. She has to protect herself, especially today. After work she has to prepare a special birthday dinner for Henrik and she must have enough energy left for their guests.

She throws herself into her work. There are reports waiting to be scanned, Word files to be transferred into the database, and keywords to be checked.

She makes her own coffee in the kitchen to avoid using the Thermos in the Winter Garden. After a while she phones Henrik, wishes him a happy birthday, and talks to him for a little longer, using a tone of voice that betrays a hint of what she’s going through. It helps her to think that he understands her situation.

Since Malene is the Centre’s contact person for everyone using the DCGI facilities, including all library borrowers, Anne-Lise works alone and almost exclusively with archival work. Boxes full of documentation pour in steadily, and there are few chances to talk to anyone during an ordinary working day.

Anne-Lise phones a colleague in the Strasbourg genocide library, whom she met during a course about the HURIDOCS cataloguing system. She tells him that she has come across a reference to an article in a UN report that would interest him. She mentions other reports and keeps talking, spinning the conversation out.

He listens to her. She hopes that he won’t notice that she’s drinking in his every word. Talking to him will keep her going for a few more hours. She needs a friendly voice to mask her colleagues’ silence.

Afterwards Anne-Lise turns her attention to proofreading. The German, Spanish and English observers have reported the torching of Nigerian villages and the perpetrators’ names must be checked and cross-referenced. The text-recognition program has recorded their names, but just one small slip could lead to confusion later.

Malene comes in to collect some volumes, carrying a growing pile of books around with her. Still buoyed from her conversation with her Strasbourg colleague, Anne-Lise smiles at Malene, but Malene leaves the room without saying a word.

Anne-Lise stops working. For the umpteenth time she starts filling out another job application. As she types, she realises that she’s losing control. I shouldn’t be feeling like this, she thinks. They’re turning me into a different Anne-Lise. This could’ve been the perfect job. She imagines each tap on the keyboard as if it were a knife plunging into Malene’s body. Or Iben’s.

Malene! Anne-Lise screams inwardly as she hits the keys as hard as she can.

But this is not the real me.

Towards the end of the afternoon the Winter Garden is alive with laughter. One of the computers is running Chris and the Chocolate Factory audio files.

True, Anne-Lise had decided to stay away from them for the rest of the day, but the last time they listened to Chris , all four of them had had so much fun together. Anne-Lise had joined in their jokes and laughed along as if it were all perfectly normal.

The familiarity did not last, but that evening she had met Henrik in the driveway.

‘We had a really good laugh together today!’ She went on to say that it looked as if the others were coming around at last. Wasn’t it good that she had stuck it out despite everything?

Later Henrik copied a CD with Chris episodes that a colleague of his had recorded from a morning radio show. Anne-Lise had put the CD in her handbag and it was still there. There had been no opportune moment to tell the women about it.

Chris’s voice is coming from Camilla’s computer.

Iben and Malene stand at Camilla’s desk. Anne-Lise joins them, trying to act natural. When Malene does her Paul imitation Anne-Lise laughs. Then she turns to the others. ‘I have a CD with Chris episodes that aren’t on the Internet. Would you like to hear it?’

‘Sure! Why don’t you go and get it?’

‘Great idea.’

She goes to the library and when she returns with the CD seconds later, Iben and Malene are already back at their desks.

Anne-Lise stops. ‘Oh, you’re busy now. We should listen to it another time?’

Malene looks up. ‘No, no. Put it on, by all means.’

‘But are you still in the mood?’

‘Of course we are. Put it on.’

Anne-Lise loads the CD on to Camilla’s computer. Camilla has pushed her chair away to leaf through a document folder. Anne-Lise turns to look at the others. The atmosphere has changed. She should never have gone ahead — not now they’re all back at work.

Camilla is looking up at her expectantly.

Anne-Lise selects track eight, an episode that she thinks is the funniest. She presses Play. ‘I hope you’ll like this one.’

It’s a brilliant sketch, but no one comes over to listen and no one laughs. Now and then Camilla looks up from the documents. Malene and Iben are studying their computer screens.

Anne-Lise keeps standing at Camilla’s desk. After another thirty seconds she speaks. ‘I’ll stop it now. You’re not listening.’

‘No, don’t. Leave it.’

‘But you’re not enjoying it.’

Malene swings around to face Anne-Lise. ‘I always work while I’m listening to something.’

Now Iben looks up. ‘This is where we work, you know. We’re meant to get things done. It can’t all be fun and games.’

Anne-Lise lets the CD run. She remembers listening to some of these episodes at home and how she and Henrik were practically crying with laughter. In an attempt to work and listen as the others are doing, she turns the pages of an American journal, but she’s unable to absorb a single word. When the episode ends, she presses Stop.

Camilla puts down her folder. ‘Why did you do that?’

‘I’m taking the CD out. You’re all too busy just now.’

‘Don’t. Leave it.’

‘But you aren’t listening.’

‘How would you know? I was.’

‘But … not properly … you’re all …’

Iben punches hard on the Enter key. ‘I was listening too. You said you wanted us to hear it. Why are you changing your mind?’

Malene looks up and sighs. ‘Anne-Lise, please. Do stop whining.’

The next track starts. Once again they are deep in their work. Nobody utters a sound.

They’ve chosen to invite only their immediate family and a couple who are old friends. Anything grander to celebrate Henrik’s birthday is not practical — not on a weekday night. Even then it should still be quite a party, with a total of eight grownups and seven children. It’s such a challenge to serve a good dinner that suits everyone.