Yu Hua - Brothers

Song Gang sat there without saying a word, unable to understand why the normally sophisticated and urbane Writer Liu had been cursing him out like a shrew, using language even coarser than a peasant's. Song Gang burned with righteous indignation, wondering where Writer Liu got off talking to him like this. The people gathered around him had dispersed, and Song Gang walked over to the public fountain to wash the red ink off his face and glasses. After the red stain had been washed off, Song Gang's complexion became pale with fury. With this pale, furious face he returned to his workstation, and that afternoon when he got off work, it was with the same pale, furious face that he returned home.

When Baldy Li got home, he saw Song Gang sitting at the table, stewing. Noticing the red ink splattered across Song Gangs clothing like markings on a map, Baldy Li asked what had happened. Song Gang told him everything, and when he finished, Baldy Li didn't say a word but instead turned on his heels and walked out the door. He knew which alley Writer Liu lived in, and stalked off to teach the pretentious asshole a lesson.

The moment he reached the main street Baldy Li ran into Writer Liu, who was just emerging from his alley. Liu was carrying a soy sauce bottle, which he was on his way to refill at his wife's behest. Baldy Li stopped and called out to Liu, "Hey, little guy, come here."

Writer Liu felt that this voice sounded very familiar, and he turned to see Baldy Li standing there cockily waving at him from across the street. Liu was reminded of how, when they were young, Victory Zhao would often have Sun Wei call out to Baldy Li like this whenever they wanted to give him a taste of their leg-sweeping kicks. But now it was Baldy Li who was calling out to him. Aware that Baldy Li was hailing him because of the matter with Song Gang, Writer Liu hesitated for a moment but then crossed the street with his soy sauce bottle and walked right up to him.

Baldy Li gestured angrily at him and cursed, "You son of a bitch, how dare you splatter ink all over my brother, Song Gang? You fucking bastard!"

Writer Liu sputtered. Whereas earlier he had backed away from a fight with Song Gang on account of the fact that Song Gang was half a head taller than he, Baldy Li was half a head shorter, so Writer Liu felt he had nothing to worry about. He wanted to curse out Baldy Li instead but saw that a group of onlookers had gathered and therefore decided it would be better to preserve his dignity. He coldly replied, "Please watch your mouth."

Baldy Li snorted. With his left hand he grabbed Liu by the collar, and curling his right into a fist, he snarled, "I do indeed have a foul mouth, and I plan to foul up your clean face."

Baldy Li's bluster made Writer Liu quake a little. Liu realized that although Baldy Li was half a head shorter, he nevertheless looked extraordinarily strong. He struggled to free himself from Baldy Li's grip, attempting to maintain his writerly dignity in front of the assembled crowd. While weakly swatting at the hand with which Baldy Li was holding him by the collar, hoping that he would let go of his own accord, Writer Liu said primly, "I am an intellectual, and I won't get entangled with the likes of you."

"Well, I especially like beating up intellectuals."

Writer Liu had not even finished speaking when Baldy Li started punching him one, two, three, four times with his right fist, punching him so hard that Writer Liu's head snapped back and forth. Baldy Li followed up his advantage with punches five, six, seven, eight until Writer Liu's entire body swayed as he fell to his knees. Baldy Li pulled Liu back to his feet and then pounded him four times in the face. The soy sauce bottle in Liu's hand fell to the ground and shattered. Liu seemed to have passed out, but Baldy Li held him up while continuing to pound his face like a punching bag. Writer Liu's eyes swelled to narrow slits, and his nose began spurting blood. In all, Baldy Li punched Writer Liu twenty-eight times, leaving him looking as if he had barely survived a car wreck. Finally Baldy Li's left hand, with which he was holding Liu up, began to tire, and when he released his grip, Writer Liu collapsed like a sack of sand. Baldy Li quickly grabbed Liu's clothing from behind and, as Writer Liu fell to his knees, Baldy Li continued to hold his collar, not letting him topple over. Baldy Li laughed as he announced to the assembled crowd, "And this is what is known as an intellectual."

Then Baldy Li proceeded to use his right fist to pound Writer Liu's back and quickly punched him eleven times in succession while Liu grunted in pain. Baldy Li noticed that Liu's voice had changed from his earlier shrill screams to a series of dull moans. With a surprised expression, Baldy Li told the assembled crowd, "Do you hear? This intellectual is chanting a laborer's work song."

Then, as if he were performing a science experiment, Baldy Li punched Writer Liu in the back again and heard Liu grunt, "Heave-ho." Baldy Li pounded him five more times, and Writer Liu responded with five more "heave-ho" grunts, sounding as if the two of them had previously rehearsed their call-and-answer routine. Baldy Li excitedly continued to beat Liu as he told the crowd, "I am helping to bring out his true laborer colors!"

By this time Baldy Li was covered in sweat. When he released his left hand, Writer Liu's body crumpled to the ground and lay motionless like a slaughtered pig. Baldy Li wiped the sweat from his brow and said with satisfaction, as if he were concluding a lesson, "We'll stop here for today."

In reality, Baldy Li was just getting started. He remembered that Writer Liu had another intellectual comrade, Poet Zhao, and therefore announced to the assembled crowd, "Poet Zhao is also an intellectual. Please tell him that within the next six months I'll plan to help bring out his true laborer colors, too."

Baldy Li swaggered off, leaving Writer Liu crumpled beneath a wutong tree, completely covered in blood. Passersby crowded around him for a while, pointing and offering their opinions. Baldy Li had aimed his twenty-eight punches at Writer Liu's five facial orifices, leaving him lying motionless on the street and barely able to discern the world around him. Finally some workers from the metal factory passed by on their way to work and, seeing their section chief lying there covered in blood, they rolled their eyes, grinned, then quickly carried him to the hospital.

As Writer Liu lay in the emergency-room bed, he insisted that the person who had beaten him was not Baldy Li but, rather, Li Kui. The factory workers didn't know what to make of this and asked him, "Which Li Kui?"

Writer Liu coughed up some blood as he answered, "The one who appears in Water Margin, who is also known as the Black Whirlwind."

The workers were flabbergasted, saying that that Li Kui was not from Liu Town but, rather, was a character in a novel. Writer Liu nodded, saying that Li Kui had emerged from the novel to smack him around. Several workers burst out laughing, asking him why in the world Li Kui would want to do that. Writer Liu took the opportunity to curse Li Kui a few times, saying that he was all brawn and no brain, his muscles having crowded out his wits. He said that Li Kui received mistaken information, went to the wrong place, and beat up the wrong person. After explaining this, Writer Liu continued coughing up blood and asked in a dull voice, "How could Baldy Li be a match for me?"

Several workers thought to themselves that this was the end and pulled over a doctor to ask whether their section chief had been beaten senseless. The doctor shook his head and replied that Liu's condition was not that serious, that he was merely suffering from a case of delusional memory. He added, "If he sleeps it off, he'll be fine."

Baldy Li had threatened that his next victim would be Poet Zhao. When word of this threat finally made its way to Poet Zhao himself, he turned pale with fury. He snorted five or six times in succession, and then Zhao, who rarely cursed, pronounced, "That little bastard."