Yu Hua - Brothers

Alongside the row of extracted rotten teeth that Yanker Yu used to display on his table, he now very progressively displayed a dozen or so perfectly good teeth to demonstrate his class stand to everyone. He even wanted to demonstrate it to the eight-year-old Baldy Li, so he raised himself up from his rattan recliner and, pointing to the teeth, explained, "These are the healthy teeth that I've extracted from class enemies." He then pointed to the several dozen rotten teeth on the table and explained, "These are the rotten teeth that I've extracted from the mouths of my class brothers and sisters."

Baldy Li nodded without enthusiasm. He looked over the healthy teeth of class enemies and the rotten teeth of class brothers and sisters and didn't find any of them very interesting. He then sat down on Yanker Yu's stool next to the recliner and continued yawning. Yanker Yu had passed a listless morning on his recliner, and now that he finally had Baldy Li visiting, they matched each other yawn for yawn.

Yanker Yu sat up. Looking over at the electrical pole across the street, he patted Baldy Li's head and asked, "Aren't you going to go hump that pole?"

"I already did," Baldy Li replied.

"Go hump it again," Yanker Yu encouraged him.

"Nah," explained Baldy Li. "I've humped every pole in this town at least several times."

"Oh, my mother!" Yanker Yu exclaimed. "If this were ancient times, you'd be the emperor with your own harem, but now you're a serial rapist about to be jailed and executed."

When Baldy Li, who was midyawn, heard the phrase "jailed and executed," he was so startled that he swallowed the rest of the yawn and opened his eyes wide. "I'll be jailed and executed for humping electrical poles?"

"Of course." Yanker Yu pointed to the pole and asked Baldy Li, "Do you regard them as class enemies or as class sisters?"

Still wide-eyed, Baldy Li didn't understand. Yanker Yu enthusiastically continued, "If you think of the poles as class enemies, then humping them would be like criticizing them. But if you treat the poles as class sisters, you would need to register for a marriage license. If you don't register and get married, you're a rapist. Now that you've humped every pole in the town, it's as if you've molested every class sister in town. So why wouldn't they jail and execute you?"

After hearing Yanker Yu's explanation, Baldy Li was relieved of his worries over execution and imprisonment, and his wide-open eyes relaxed to narrow slits. Yanker Yu patted Baldy Li on the head and asked, "Now do you get it? Now do you understand what having a class stand is?"

"Yup." Baldy Li nodded.

"So tell me," Yanker Yu continued, "do you think of them as class enemies? Or class sisters?"

Baldy Li blinked a few times. "What if I think of them as class electrical poles?"

Yanker Yu was stunned into silence. Then he burst out laughing. "You little bastard."

After Baldy Li spent half an hour at Yanker Yu's, Yu was amused but Baldy Li was still bored, so he got up and went back to Blacksmith Tongs shop. Baldy Li sat on Tongs long bench with his back against the wall and his head half cocked, watching Blacksmith Tong energetically hammering out a red-tasseled spear. The blacksmith held the spear with his tongs in his left hand and wielded his iron hammer with his right as sparks flew all over the shop. The red revolutionary armband on Blacksmith Tongs left arm kept slipping down, and he would raise his tongs-wielding left hand to slide the armband back up, waving the spearhead in his tongs through the air. As he hammered away Blacksmith Tong looked over at Baldy Li, remembering how the little fellow used to climb onto the long bench and rub back and forth but now would just lean against it dejectedly like a diseased chicken squatting in a corner. Blacksmith Tong couldn't help but ask him, "Hey you're not going to have sexual relations with the bench?"

"Sexual relations?" Baldy Li cackled a few times, thinking that it was a funny phrase. But he shook his head and laughed bitterly. "I've lost my sex drive."

Now it was Blacksmith Tongs turn to cackle. He said, "This little bastard is impotent."

Baldy Li laughed along. He asked Blacksmith Tong, "What does impotent mean?"

Tong laid down his hammer and wiped his face with the towel draped around his neck. "Loosen your pants and look at your weenie," he said.

Baldy Li loosened his pants and took a look. Blacksmith Tong asked, "So is it soft?"

Baldy Li nodded. "Its as soft as dough."

"That's called impotence." Blacksmith Tong hung the towel back around his neck and, squinting, explained: "When your weenie is hard like a little cannon about to fire, that means you have a sex drive. But when it's soft as dough, then you're impotent."

Baldy Li let out an "oh." As if discovering a new continent, he exclaimed, "So I'm impotent."

By this time Baldy Li was already notorious. In Liu, there were quite a few loafers loitering in the streets who would sometimes raise their fists, shout a few slogans, and follow behind some parading troupe, or sometimes they would lean idly against the wutong trees, yawning nonstop. These loafers were all acquainted with Baldy Li, and whenever they saw him, they would get excited and start chuckling, calling out to one another, "That pole-humping fellow is here."

But Baldy Li was no longer his old self. Song Fanping had been locked in the warehouse, and Song Gang, who had lost his voice, was no longer speaking to him. Alone and constantly hungry, Baldy Li walked dejectedly along the main streets, having lost all interest in the wooden poles lining the streets. The loafers, however, remained very interested in him. Keeping an eye on the parade making its way down the street, they blocked his path and pointed at the wooden poles along the street, whispering, "Hey, kid, haven't seen you hump the poles for a while."

Baldy Li shook his head and answered in a ringing voice, "I no longer have sexual relations with them."

These loafers shook with laughter and surrounded Baldy Li to prevent him from getting away. They waited until the crowds had passed, then asked him again, "So why don't you have sexual relations anymore?"

With a practiced air Baldy Li unfastened his pants and instructed them to look at his penis. He said, "See that? See my weenie?"

Knocking their heads together, they looked down Baldy Li's pants, and when they nodded, their heads knocked together again. Holding their heads, they answered that they'd seen it, and Baldy Li continued, "So is it as hard as a little cannon? Or is it as soft as dough?"

These people didn't know what Baldy Li was getting at, so they nodded, "Soft, definitely soft, like dough."

"So that's why I no longer engage in sexual relations," explained Baldy Li.

Then he waved his hands like a famous knight errant bidding farewell to his fighting days, and parted the crowd. After a few steps he turned back. Sounding as if he had seen the sorrow of the ages, he said with a sigh, "I'm impotent."

Buoyed by the crowd's laughter, Baldy Li regained his spirit. He raised his head and strutted off. And when he walked past a wooden electrical pole, he gave it a kick, as if proclaiming that he had fully ended his relationship with all such poles.

BALDY LI didn't have a cent to his name as he roamed the streets. When he was thirsty, he drank from the river. When he was hungry, he could only swallow his saliva and head home. By that point his home was like a shattered vase. The armoire had been pushed over, but he and Song Gang didn't have the strength to lift it back up; the floor was strewn with clothes, but the children were too lazy to pick them up. Since Song Fanping had been taken away and locked up in that warehouse, crowds came to search their house twice more. Each time Baldy Li immediately ducked out, leaving Song Gang to deal with them on his own. He was sure that when Song Gang rasped to them, they would lose their tempers and smack him on the head.