Yu Hua - Chronicle of a Blood Merchant

Yile interrupted, “Don’t talk about me. If you’re going to confess, then speak for yourself.”

Xu Yulan looked up at Yile, who was sitting ashen-faced across from her and avoiding her gaze. Her tears flowed once more as she continued. “I know I should apologize to you all. I know you all hate me. You’ve lost a lot of face because of me. But you can’t blame me either. It was He Xiaoyong. He Xiaoyong took advantage of my dad leaving us alone when he went to the public toilet. He pushed me up against the wall. I tried to push him away. I told him I already belonged to Xu Sanguan. But he kept pressing me up against the wall. I tried my best to push him away, but he was stronger than me. I couldn’t get him off me. I wanted to scream, but he squeezed my breasts and somehow I couldn’t fight anymore. I just went limp.”

Xu Sanguan saw Erle’s and Sanle’s eyes open wide with wonder. Yile kept his eyes to the floor, but his feet were sliding agitatedly back and forth across the floor.

Xu Yulan continued her story. “He dragged me to the bed, unbuttoned my shirt, unbuttoned my pants. I didn’t have any strength left to resist him. He pulled one of my legs out of my pants leg, but didn’t bother with the other one. Then he pushed his own pants down below his backside.”

Xu Sanguan shouted, “Stop! Enough! Can’t you see that Erle’s and Sanle’s eyes are just about ready to pop out of their heads? You’re spewing venom. You’re corrupting the younger generation.”

Xu Yulan said, “You made me do it.”

Xu Sanguan said, “I didn’t tell you to talk about that stuff.” He pointed toward Xu Yulan and shouted at Erle and Sanle, “This is your own mom! How could you have sat there listening to that stuff?”

Erle shook his head vigorously. “I didn’t hear anything. Sanle was listening to it, not me.”

Sanle said, “I didn’t hear anything either.”

“Forget it,” Xu Sanguan said. “Xu Yulan’s confessed more than enough. I think it’s your turn to say something. Yile, you go first.”

Only now did Yile lift his eyes from the floor and say to Xu Sanguan, “I don’t have anything else to say. I hate He Xiaoyong the very most. And I hate her second most.” He pointed at Xu Yulan. “I hate He Xiaoyong because he wouldn’t recognize me as his son. And I hate her because I can’t hold up my head in public.”

Xu Sanguan signaled for him to stop talking. Then he looked over at Erle. “Erle, it’s your turn.”

Erle scratched his head with his hand and said to Xu Yulan, “Why didn’t you bite him when he pushed you up against the wall? If you couldn’t push him away, how come you didn’t bite him? You say you didn’t have any strength left to resist, but you must have had enough strength to bite him—”

“Erle!” Xu Sanguan shouted, so frightening the boy that he began to tremble. He gestured at him. “I thought you just said you didn’t hear any of that stuff. If you didn’t hear anything, then what the hell do you think you’re talking about? If you didn’t hear anything, then don’t say anything either. Sanle, say something.”

Sanle glanced at Erle, who was staring uneasily at Xu Sanguan, still flinching from the shock of being scolded by his father. Then Sanle glanced at Xu Sanguan, whose face was flushed with anger. By this time Sanle was so frightened, he didn’t dare say a word. Instead, he sat with his mouth half open, lips poised to speak.

Xu Sanguan dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Forget it. Don’t say anything then. ‘A dog’s mouth doesn’t produce ivory’ after all. Today’s struggle session is adjourned.”

Yile said, “But I wasn’t finished talking yet.”

Xu Sanguan looked disapprovingly at Yile. “What else do you have to say?”

Yile said, “I had only got up to the part about who I hated. You didn’t let me talk about who I love. The person I love most, of course, is our Great Leader Chairman Mao. And the one I love second most”—Yile gazed at Xu Sanguan—“is you.”

Xu Sanguan stared back at Yile without so much as blinking. After what seemed like a long while, tears spilled from his eyes, and he said to Xu Yulan, “Who says Yile isn’t my son?”

Xu Sanguan raised his right hand to his eyes to wipe away the tears. After he had been wiping for a moment, he raised his left hand to his eyes as well and continued to rub away his tears.

Finally, he gazed benevolently at his three sons. “I’ve also made a serious mistake in my life. It was with Lin Fenfang. You know, Fatty Lin.”

Xu Yulan said, “Xu Sanguan, why are you bringing that up?”

“Because I want to tell them.” Xu Sanguan gestured in Xu Yulan’s direction. “It was like this. Fatty Lin broke her leg so I went to visit her. Her husband wasn’t home, and so we were alone in the house. I asked her which leg was broken. She said it was the right one. I asked her if it hurt. First I touched her calf, and then I touched her thigh, and then I touched her even higher up—”

“Xu Sanguan.” Xu Yulan said his name. “You have to stop right there. If you keep on going, you’ll poison their minds.”

Xu Sanguan nodded and looked at his three sons. All three of the boys had their eyes glued to the floor. He continued. “I did it just one time with Lin Fenfang. And your mom did it just once with He Xiaoyong. The reason I told you all of this tonight is because I want you boys to know that I’m actually just as bad as your mom. Both of us made serious mistakes. That’s why you shouldn’t hate her for it.” He pointed toward Xu Yulan. “If you hate her, you have to hate me too, because she and I are birds of a feather.”

Xu Yulan shook her head and said to her sons, “He’s not the same as me. He only did it with Lin Fenfang because I hurt his feelings first.”

Xu Sanguan, shaking his head, said, “It’s all the same, really.”

Xu Yulan addressed Xu Sanguan. “We’re not the same. If the incident with He Xiaoyong had never happened, you never would have touched Lin Fenfang.”

Xu Sanguan couldn’t help but agree. “Well, that’s true. But,” he added, “we’re still the same.”

LATER Chairman Mao began to talk. Chairman Mao was saying things nearly every day. When he said, “We must fight with words and not weapons,” everyone put down the knives and clubs in their hands. When Chairman Mao went on to say, “We must take the revolution back to the classroom,” Yile, Erle, and Sanle put on their book bags and went back to school, where classes had resumed. When Chairman Mao said, “We must make the revolution serve production,” Xu Sanguan went back to work at the silk factory, and Xu Yulan got up every morning to fry dough. Xu Yulan’s hair was getting longer and longer, almost long enough to cover her ears.

Sometime after that Chairman Mao stood atop the rostrum at Tiananmen, held up his right hand, and waved toward the west, addressing millions and millions of students assembled on the square: “It’s necessary that educated youth be removed to the countryside to be reeducated by middle and lower peasants.”

So it was that Yile, carrying a bed mat, a Thermos, and a washbasin, marched at the back of a column of students, all of whom were just as young as he. They marched under a red flag, singing anthems, happily climbing onto buses, happily boarding ferries, waving good-bye to the tears of their mothers and fathers on their way to their new homes in the countryside.

After Yile was sent down to the countryside, he would often sit all alone on a hillside as dusk approached, wrapping his arms around his knees and staring blankly at the fields all around him. When the other students who had been sent down saw him sitting there, they would ask, “Yile, what are you doing?”