Yu Hua - Chronicle of a Blood Merchant

Yile thought he was right, so he nodded.

Wang Erhu continued, “Go on home now. You’re full.”

Yile went back home, sat by the table, and looked across the empty tabletop. He still wanted to eat. He thought about Xu Sanguan and the rest of them. They would be sitting around a table right now, eating huge bowls of steaming hot noodles. And all he had gotten was a sweet potato that wasn’t even as big as his hand. He began to cry. At first the tears ran silently down his face. Then he threw his head down on the table and began to sob.

After he cried for a while, he thought once more of Xu Sanguan and the others sitting at the restaurant eating big steaming bowls full of noodles. He immediately stopped crying. He felt that he really ought to go to the restaurant to find them. He really ought to be eating a big steaming bowl of noodles, too. He went out the front door.

It was already dark outside, and because of the lack of electric power, the street lamps were as weak as candles. He walked rapidly down the street, panting to himself as he went: faster, faster, faster. He didn’t dare run, because both Xu Sanguan and Xu Yulan had told him that if he ran right after he ate, he’d burn up all the food in his stomach. So he told himself as he went, Don’t run, don’t run, whatever you do, don’t run. He stared at his feet as he walked along the road toward West First Street. There was a restaurant called the Liberation on the west side of the intersection. During the evening the Liberation Restaurant was always the brightest place on the street.

He propelled himself forward with his eyes to the ground and passed the intersection, not noticing his mistake until the road dead-ended into a small lane. Here he stopped, gazed around for a moment, and realized that he must have passed the Liberation Restaurant. He turned and started to retrace his steps, this time taking care not to look down at the pavement as he went. Instead, his eyes roved up and down the street until he had regained the intersection. When he saw that the doors were locked, the windows shuttered, and the lights out, he thought the restaurant must have closed already and that Xu Sanguan and the others had already finished their noodles. He leaned against a concrete electrical pole and burst into sobs.

Soon a couple of pedestrians came up to him. “Whose kid is that crying?”

Yile answered, “Xu Sanguan’s kid is crying.”

They asked, “Who’s Xu Sanguan?”

He said, “Xu Sanguan from the silk factory.”

“It’s too late for a kid like you to be out in the streets. Why don’t you go home?”

“I’m looking for my mom and dad. They went out to eat noodles at a restaurant.”

“Your mom and dad went out to eat?” they asked. “Then you better look for them over at the Victory Restaurant. The Liberation has been closed for almost two months now.”

Yile immediately began to walk down the street that led north from the intersection. He knew that the Victory Restaurant was right next to the Victory Bridge. He lowered his eyes to the pavement once again, because that way he would be able to walk faster. When he came to the end of the street, he swerved down a little lane and followed it until he had emerged into another avenue. When he caught sight of the river that ran through town, he began to walk alongside the water until he reached the Victory Bridge.

The lights of the Victory Restaurant glittered across the darkness. The bright lights made Yile happy. A surge of joy welled up in his heart, as if he were already eating the noodles. He broke into a gallop. But when he ran across the bridge and arrived at the front door of the restaurant, he did not find Xu Sanguan, Xu Yulan, Erle, or Sanle sitting inside. Instead, there were only two waiters sweeping the floor with big brooms. They had already swept everything but the area by the front door.

As Yile stood by the front door, they swept the refuse onto his shoes. He asked them, “Did Xu Sanguan and the others come here to eat noodles?”

They said, “Move.”

Yile hurriedly shifted to the side and repeated, “Did Xu Sanguan and the others eat noodles here tonight? I mean the Xu Sanguan from the silk factory.”

They said, “They left a long time ago. Everyone who came to eat noodles left a long time ago.”

Yile hung his head and walked over to the trees by the side of the road. He stood by the tree for a while looking at the ground. Then he sat down on the ground, circled his arms around his knees, and began to cry. He made himself cry harder and harder, louder and louder, until he couldn’t hear any of the nocturnal sounds around him. The sound of the wind blowing disappeared, and the sound of the trees rustling came to a stop, as did the sound of stools being moved around inside the restaurant behind him. The only sound left was that of his own sobs floating through the night.

After a while he grew tired of crying and stopped to wipe the tears from his eyes. He heard the waiters closing up the restaurant.

They shut the door, saw Yile sitting across from them, and said to him, “Aren’t you going home?”

Yile said, “I want to go home.”

They said, “If you want to go home, what are you waiting for? Don’t just sit there.”

“I’m sitting here because I need to rest. I walked a long way. I’m really tired now. I need to rest.”

They left, and Yile watched them walk together down the street until they reached the next corner. One of them turned down a side street, and the other continued straight down the street until Yile couldn’t see him anymore.

Then he stood up and began to walk home. He walked down the streets and through the lanes, listening to the sound of his own footsteps, feeling hungrier and hungrier as he went along. He felt like he had never eaten the sweet potato at all. He began to feel weaker and weaker.

When he arrived home, the whole family was laid out on the bed asleep. He heard the rumbling of Xu Sanguan’s snores. He heard Erle roll over and mumble something in his sleep. Only Xu Yulan had heard him push open the front door and come inside.

Xu Yulan said to him, “Yile.”

Yile said, “I’m hungry.”

Yile stood by the door for another moment before Xu Yulan asked, “Where did you go?”

Yile said, “I’m hungry.”

After another moment Xu Yulan said, “Come to bed. You won’t feel hungry if you go to sleep.”

Yile continued to stand by the door for a long while. But Xu Yulan didn’t say anything more, and when Yile realized she had fallen asleep and wouldn’t be saying anything else, he fumbled his way through the dark to the foot of the bed, took off his clothes, and lay down.

He did not fall asleep right away. He stared into the darkness, listening to Xu Sanguan’s snores, and said to himself, This man, this man who’s snoring in his sleep, is the one who wouldn’t let me go to the restaurant to eat noodles. And this man is also the one who’s responsible for my having to go to bed with an empty stomach. And he is also the same man who is always saying I’m not his own son. And finally, he replied to Xu Sanguan’s snores with a declaration: If I’m not really your son, then you’re not my dad either.

After Yile finished his gruel the next morning, he got up and walked out the door. Xu Sanguan and Xu Yulan were still in the bedroom, and Erle and Sanle were sitting on the doorstep. Erle and Sanle watched as Yile’s legs stepped over their shoulders and moved outside the door.

Erle gazed at Yile as he moved down the street without so much as a parting look, and called out, “Yile, where are you going?”

Yile said, “To find my dad.”

When Erle heard his reply, he glanced inside the house to see Xu Sanguan licking his bowl clean with his tongue. This seemed funny to him, so he burst into giggles, saying to Sanle, “Dad’s inside, but Yile’s going out to look for him.”