Peter Liu - Bald New World

“Nick used to be one helluva cricket fighter,” Larry said. “He’d control their little brains through the neural interface. Never saw a guy win so many battles in a row.”

“Don’t remind me. I hate insects,” I said. “Still get nightmares about being a cricket.”

“They say the Song Dynasty fell because the ruler was so obsessed with cricket fighting.”

“That’s because he never had to live as one.”

“You have?” Shinjee asked.

“Hundred days is all they have,” I answered. “One season to be born and to die.”

Hyori was watching me and I could tell she was looking for an opening to say something. But I ignored her and relegated myself to convoy service for the night. Several times, she asked questions about me. I gave pat answers and never allowed it to progress beyond that. Eventually, the two girls decided to go freshen up at the bathroom.

“What’s wrong?” Larry asked me.

“Nothing.”

“These girls are trained in the art of love. We’ve got to find out if it’s as good as they say.”

“I have no interest in my date.”

“You’ve barely gotten to know her.”

“She’s a spy!”

“What if the earth collapses tomorrow? What if a thousand-year winter arrives? What if some plague wipes out half of humanity? We’re living dinosaurs, man. We’ll be dead anyways. Enjoy what you got.”

“My idea of enjoyment isn’t being around spies.”

“Expand your horizons, bro!” he declared. “Besides, you want to live a boring quiet life?”

“I do.”

Larry shook his head and said, “I have two big regrets in life. You know what they are?” His breath reeked of alcohol and when he leaned into me, he pressed the holopad which brought up the dragon waitress.

She repeated, “We have a special on—”

“My first is Renee,” Larry continued. “Holy shit, she had the best body I’ve ever seen on a woman. She was also damn smart, an architect who only built underwater complexes. Just thinking about her gets me excited. At the end of our date, she asked to come back to my place. I was so excited, I couldn’t believe this girl asked to come to my place. We arrive, and guess what?”

“She’s a man?” Which wouldn’t have surprised me considering how these stories usually went.

“I have to take the biggest dump of my life. My stomach was raging man. I couldn’t control it. I said, ‘Excuse me,’ ran to the bathroom, and felt my ass pour out of my stomach. The farts man; they were like mini gastro bombs. They were loud . By the time I got out, she was like, ‘Take me home right this minute.’ Never saw her again.” He had his hands out in front of him like he was cupping something. “I wish I could have seen her naked just once. Not a day goes by without me thinking about what could have been.” His eyes drifted to the past.

“What’s the second?” I asked.

He looked at me, lost in thought. “It was my first sexual experience. Ever. I’d fantasized about this girl for years. I had the chance to get with her and lose my virginity. But I was so drunk, my little guy wouldn’t respond. It was humiliating. I tried my best and I stalled for like an hour and she was like, ‘C’mon, c’mon.’ Nothing. Nada. I didn’t know it was the drink, thought I had ED or something. She laughed it off, but I could tell she was disappointed. I couldn’t reveal to her that I was a virgin, try to explain I didn’t even know the mechanics of it all. Can you believe I still remember her smell?”

As he spoke, I wondered about my own regrets.

“It’s been almost twenty years since both those nights,” Larry said, “and I still wish I could have done it differently. A woman ain’t just a body. She’s a journey. Those moments of intimacy you share. It’s like entering a different universe and I thank each and every single one. Let go of your leash, man. I’m not asking you to marry the girl. Just have a little fun.”

Larry was an expert at philosophizing his lust and a part of me wondered, what was the worst that could happen? Neither of us had any secrets that would be valuable to them or their government. Hyori was no Linda. But she was still a very attractive woman. The two of them came back, spruced up. I waved at Hyori and asked her what kind of drink she wanted.

It turned out Hyori had always wanted to be a librarian. She loved books and her cover story was that she came to Beijing to work for her uncle because she wanted to experience more of the world’s literature. When I asked what her favorite book was, she told me it was the autobiography of their Great Leader. “Every time I read his book and read how much he cares about his people, I cry,” she revealed. “He’s sacrificed everything for us. Without him, the world would have destroyed the integrity of our culture. Think about your world. You think you have total freedom, but that’s worse than restricted freedom because the noise drowns out the truly amazing. It’s the loudest voice that gets heard in your country, not the most beautiful.”

“The variety of voices has its advantages. You can read and find out anything you want,” I replied. “Everyone is heard.”

“If everyone talks at the same time, you can’t hear anyone,” she answered.

A guy next to us moved like a robot and ten guys played a game of fake basketball as they threw out a hovering ball. Some women strapped on jetpacks and were dancing mid-air. All the screens suddenly paused and a spotlight shone at the center stage.

It was opera as spectacle, a brunette in lingerie trying to mimic Pavarotti, or was it Final Fantasy VI and the Aria di Mezzo Carattere? Her staccatos were thinner than her thong as classical tones raged against digital drums. The performers wore iridescent masks that glowed neon and had caricatured expressions carved into them. There was lust, jealousy, happiness — personified emotions.

Larry was entranced. So was Hyori who was also on her fourth glass of wine. Shinjee seemed annoyed that the singer was distracting attention from her and smoked a cigarette, puffing out whiffs of discontent.

“You don’t like this song?” I asked her.

“I think love songs are sappy and pointless.”

“Why?”

“Whenever you dramatize love, all the mundane stuff gets thrown out. That’s 99 % of love. It’s a lie to only emphasize the 1 %.” She stood up and said to Larry, “I’m bored. Let’s get out of here.”

“Where to?”

“My favorite dumpling shop. I feel like some dessert.”

V.

Hyori was inebriated and wanted to prove to me that freedom was overrated. “Does freedom really make you happy?” she asked inside the taxi. “It’s true, you have more knowledge than people did a hundred years ago. But does that liberate you or just complicate everything?”

We arrived at our destination and as we got out of the cab, Larry whispered to me, “She likes you.”

“That’s why she’s lecturing me?” I said out loud, wanting her to hear me.

“If she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t be trying so hard to convince you.”

The more drunk and dogmatic she got, the harsher the contours in her gestures came into focus. There was something cruel in her eyes, perhaps because she’d suffered too much. If Shinjee was worried about Hyori revealing anything, she didn’t indicate it. Her and Larry were discussing the details of their restaurant commercial which he’d generously offered to finance.

“I don’t know what they do at my factory, but they make tons of money and I’m always happy to spend it for them. My family has been making wigs for four generations. They’ve never been rich until now. Who would have thought, eh? The greatest ecological disaster in the world made my family super rich,” he said, laughing.