Rick Moody - The Diviners

There’s more, but Jaspreet can’t understand. He can’t understand because the shouting is in the other way of talking that his parents talk to each other, and also sometimes his cousins talk in this other way, and he can understand some things and other things he can’t understand. His father watches his mother, and then when they see that Jaspreet is standing there, they start doing other things, and his father goes to the cabinet where there are special bottles, and he starts pouring from these special bottles. And Jaspreet is underfoot, trying to get to the drawer that houses the can that has the food in it for the fish, and his mother bats him out of the way, but he comes back. She tells him to get out of the way and then when she looks up, the pale lady is standing in the doorway. Everyone remembers that she is there, and so his mother lets him get the fish food, and he holds it up like it’s a trophy.

“Would you care to have a drink?” his father asks. And the lady says she would, and his father goes back to the mixing of special things. Jaspreet leads the pale lady back to the goldfish bowl, and there is the magic feeding, and the little mouth of the goldfish troubles the surface of the water. And they watch the fish until it is time for dinner.

The table is laid for four, and soon the four people are sitting at the table. Jaspreet does not like to sit at the table, and so he takes his chair into the kitchen and he comes back and he stands at his place at the table. His mother gets up and turns on the television because now is the time of a show that has to do with a million dollars. Jaspreet doesn’t like the show that has to do with a million dollars because the man who is on the show looks like he is catching on fire. Jaspreet tries not to look at the television and the man, but he keeps looking over anyway. Whenever the television is on he has to look over at it whether he wants to or not, and he keeps seeing the man, and the man is repeating the same things over and over again. And Jaspreet’s father asks if they must have the television on right now, and the pale lady is looking around the room like she forgot something.

“We have a guest,” his father says.

His mother frowns.

The room smells of spices, just as the kitchen smells of spices, and Jaspreet loves the smell of spices, even if he likes cereal better. The pale lady tries to eat. She is not saying anything. His father asks Jaspreet how his school was today, and Jaspreet doesn’t say anything, he just smiles. Was it good? his father asks, and Jaspreet smiles. Did you make anything? his father asks, and Jaspreet smiles. And how were the other children? Jaspreet smiles.

“Can you at least turn the program down, please?” his father says to his mother. Jaspreet’s mother is pretending that she cannot hear his father, and the man on the show is asking the questions. Are you sure? the man is saying.

Next, his mother is saying something very hard to follow. This is about how she met Father when she was just a child, and how her parents knew his father’s parents, and that is how they came to meet, she and his father, because this is how things were done, and for this reason, his mother is saying to the pale lady, she is meant to pay attention to Jaspreet’s father’s remarks, even when his remarks are not worth listening to. And she is meant to put up with him, even if he decides to quit his job for no good reason at all and begins claiming that he is a leading expert on television shows. Jaspreet understands some of this, but every time he tries to understand something his eyes stray back to the television set to watch the man who is on fire.

The pale lady says, “Maybe it would be better if I left.”

Jaspreet lets out an involuntary squeal. He doesn’t know why.

“No, no!” says his father.

His mother is quiet and looks at the plate of food in front of her. The pale lady is looking at the plate of food in front of her. Jaspreet pushes his chapatti through the sauce like a boat. Everybody is looking at their plates, which makes Jaspreet want to reach out and touch food. That’s what he thinks he should do. He could throw aloo gobi on the floor or he could just go in the kitchen and eat cereal, he could take it into the basement, because everyone is quiet. The pale lady seems to get ready to say something, and then she is saying it.

“Well, it’s true, if you don’t mind my saying, that in our business, the way you make money, most of the time, is through the studios. You need to have a project in place, and then you charge fees to the studios, production expenses. Sort of like with a law firm. And that’s why you have to keep costs down, you know, during the period when you don’t have that many projects in production. And the thing is, your husband has an idea that we like, a great idea, and we’re hoping that we can find a way to develop the project, and then when we do, he’ll be able to make some money at it. The possibility of making money is an incentive for him and it’s an incentive for us, too. See what I’m saying? Until that time, the time when we start charging fees to the studios, it might be a little tight as far as salary goes, that’s true. But I think you should know that Ranjeet’s idea is very good and that everyone in the office thinks it’s a really good idea. Vanessa, who started our company, she thinks it’s a very good idea. So we’re moving forward with it. And that’s really why I came tonight, to tell you that Ranjeet has become a part of the Means of Production family. He’s well liked in the office, he’s a real innovator, and we’re grateful that he brought his talent and expertise to us. Of course, I also wanted to meet Jaspreet.”

The lady turns to look at Jaspreet and smiles, but he can see that she is not happy about the smiling or about the talking. And her smile is not a happy smile. And that’s when he decides that he will throw the aloo gobi on the floor after all. It’s not a decision, really. He feels something coming to the surface of him and he either lets it happen or he gets distracted, but he doesn’t think whether he should do it or not because he has a habit of forgetting. He forgets what came before, and so he doesn’t know what to do, so the action either takes place or it does not take place, and if it takes place it is already decided, but it is decided in his bones and his muscles. And sometimes when these moments of activity overcome him it is like a storm, and he is doing many things, most of them bad things. That is what his parents tell him, that he is doing bad things, and if he continues doing bad things, they don’t know what they are going to do with him. He may be poking someone’s dog with a stick, or he may be painting the windows with nail polish, or he may be throwing things out the window, and now the thing he is doing is he is screaming, not some particular word, he is just screaming, and he is throwing the aloo gobi on the floor, and then he is sweeping objects off the table, like he is sweeping off the dish with the cashews in it, and the plate that has the naan bread on it, this is now on the floor, and soon many things are on the floor, and the shouting rises up like a balloon in the sky, and the objects must be on the floor, and things should be broken, certain plates must be broken, and he is shouting and he is making fists and he is pounding on furniture, and this all happens very quickly, so that his father and his mother don’t have time to stop him before he has made a very big mess. Now his mother is crying and saying, “Oh, my Lord, what is happening to him?” And his father must get up from the other side of the table and he must start trying to hold back Jaspreet, but Jaspreet shakes himself loose and he runs into the television room, and he takes the goldfish bowl and throws it on the floor, which he has actually done many times, and he spits at the man on the television set who is on fire. He doesn’t know why he does anything, but he knows that the pale lady is part of his tantrum.