Jon McGregor - This Isn't the Sort of Thing That Happens to Someone Like You

Holbeach

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He had no idea where to begin. So much had been ruined. He stood in the hallway and felt the carpet sinking wetly beneath his boots. The smell was rising, already. She peered in from the front path, her arms folded, saying she didn’t even think she wanted to come in. He waited. What did she know. She had no idea.

‘There’s nothing in there, is there? What if something’s got in?’

Of course there was nothing in there. The building had been checked and secured. But she wouldn’t come in until he’d looked. So he turned away from the door and walked through the hall into the kitchen, the playroom, the lounge. He went upstairs, keeping close to the wall as they’d been warned to, and into the bathroom and each of the bedrooms in turn. He stood at the window of the children’s bedroom, at the back. The other gardens were piled high with rotten carpets and sofas and beds. It was weeks since the waters had finally receded. It felt strange to be looking out on solid ground. He remembered the last time he’d been here, holed up with the children, waiting for the boats to come, trying to make a game of it. He looked at one of the girl’s paintings, tacked to the wall. She’d painted it a few days before the storms had come. It showed the three of them eating their dinner, him and the girl and the boy. It was spotted with mould and curled almost in half. It would have to go. All these things would have to go. He walked through to the front bedroom and looked down at her. She was stepping from foot to foot, her hands clasped together. He opened the window, and she looked up, sharply.

‘Is it okay? Is it clear? Should I come in?’

He told her it was fine. He told her to come in. She had no idea. She hadn’t even been there. She thought she knew what it had been like, but really she didn’t. The children hadn’t told her anything. She hadn’t asked. She just thought she knew. He came down the stairs just as she stepped into the hallway. Her hand went up to her face, to cover the smell. Her feet sank into the sodden carpet. Somewhere around the top of her head, a thick black smear marked where the water had risen to. Above it, the wallpaper’s stripes looked almost fresh. Below it, they were blurred and streaked with mud.

‘It’ll be okay though, won’t it? We can get this all cleaned up. We’ll be all right, won’t we?’

She didn’t seem to know what she was talking about. She wasn’t even looking. Everything was ruined. Everything was completely and totally ruined. The carpets and the floorboards would have to come out. The plaster would have to be knocked off the walls, the wiring redone. It would take months. It would be easier to walk away. Just like she had done. He still didn’t know why she’d come back. He didn’t know what she wanted from him now, from any of them. He wondered if it was the going away she felt bad about, or just the timing of it. He wondered if she realised how much the children associated her going away with what had happened. He watched her rubbing at the wall, and looking at the muck which came away on her fingers. She sniffed at it. Bloody hell. What was she doing. She took a picture down from the wall, wiped the glass clear to look at it, and threw it out on the front lawn. He went out to the car to get some tools and some gloves. He looked at the picture. When he came back into the house she was standing in the lounge, holding up one end of the rotten sofa, waiting for him to take the other end. She had no idea.

Kexby

Notes for discussion points to be raised at next house-meeting, re: early preparation measures needing to be actioned asap: endnote i

Perimeter:

Existing drainage ditches already form natural boundary. Enlarge these to create realistically defendable space.1 Use spoil to create raised bank behind. Plant raised bank with 3 rows hedging:

— outer row, thorned (blackthorn, hawthorn etc)

— middle row, dense (box, yew etc)

— inner row, fruit-bearing (sloe, rosehip, hazel, raspberry, blackberry, etc)

Benefits: wind-shelter for crops within site, visual barrier, physical obstruction. Last point most vital: ditch must be wide enough to prevent vehicles approaching, & hedging must be dense enough to prevent penetration.2

Research poss. extra line of defence within hedging perimeter (spiked poles, tripwires, traps etc) to be erected at short notice in emergency.

Above creates obvious vulnerability at entry/exit point. Suggest moveable barricade to be wheeled into place when req. (Booby-trapped?) NB vulnerable entry/exit can be advantage; provides expected focus for attack/defence.

Successfully defended space as detailed above carries risk of entrapping occupants in siege situation. Plan tunnel construction to enable final escape from poss. prolonged siege. Tunnel to originate in cellar of main house and surface prob. in woods. Approx 450 metres, forced ventilation req3.ii

Reject options such as eg electrical fencing, floodlighting, automatic gates & barriers, etc; defence options must be resilient to loss of power.

Reject also watchtowers, etc; would attract attention both currently and at time of crisis. Suggest planting fast-growing evergreen at corners of property, to be used as concealed look-out points.

J , T , S , R , B 4 to form Perimeter Working Group. J to then take lead on tunnel. T to plan hedge planting & source stock/cuttings. (Tunnel likely to cause most disagreement at group meeting; ‘too much time/work for unlikely purpose’ (!) etc etc. Discuss with J before raising at meeting, gain support. Refer to likely results re: children in event of being unable to escape siege. J identifies v. closely with children so this angle likely to be effective.)