Caryl Phillips - A Distant Shore

“It happened a few years ago, I think. Somebody died here, but it wasn’t like a murder or anything. Probably fell off the roof.”

Gabriel looks closely at the girl, who speaks quickly and with confidence.

“I’m serious, you don’t have to go nowhere.” She speaks directly to Bright, who gestures to the seat opposite Gabriel.

“Please, you must take a seat. There is no reason for you to remain standing.”

The girl sits and looks suspiciously at Gabriel, and then she turns back to Bright.

“What’s your names again? I’ve forgotten.” The girl runs a hand back and through her short blonde hair. “I’m Denise.”

“Denise, I am Bright, and this is Gabriel.”

“I like your names. They’re kind of simple. Does everybody in your country have simple names?”

Bright laughs. “People have all kinds of names.”

They fall silent for a moment, and suddenly Denise seems nervous.

“Are you from Africa?”

Bright nods.

“You’re illegals, aren’t you?”

Bright looks at Gabriel, who says nothing. Denise notes the glance and is quick to speak.

“I’m not going to tell nobody, I promise. It’s just that I’ve seen you people in town. Not Africans so much, but people from other places. Indians. Chinese. That lot. You want to go to London, don’t you? Is that where you’re heading?”

Bright nods.

“On the train?”

Again Bright nods, and then he speaks.

“We only arrived yesterday so we don’t really know what to do.”

“Are you hungry?” Denise stands now.

Gabriel looks at the young girl, trying to decide whether they should trust her, but Bright appears to have already made this decision. The girl hooks her bag over her shoulder.

“I can get you some food, but not tonight. I have to be back home or my dad will wonder what’s going on with me. But tomorrow I’ll come back with some food.”

Bright stands and faces the girl.

“Is it possible you could bring something for my friend’s leg? A bandage, perhaps?”

“Is a bandage all you need?”

Bright nods, and then he speaks.

“Are you sure that you will not be tempted to tell somebody about us?”

Denise laughs now. “I thought you lot turned yourself in to the police. Isn’t that what you do to get your asylum?”

“Yes. But we wish to go to London first.” Bright shrugs his shoulders. “If we do it here, they may put us straight back on the boat.”

“So you came on the ferry?”

“We came on a boat, but it was not easy.” Denise stares at Bright, and then suddenly she seems nervous.

“I have to go now, but I promise I’ll come back tomorrow with food. And I’ll try to bring something for his leg.”

Denise moves towards the door and Bright follows her. Gabriel watches them both, and then he stands up and limps across to the window, where he sees that the sun has now hidden itself behind a cloud. He looks at Denise as she makes her way down the path, her bag swinging casually on her shoulder. As she disappears out of sight it worries him that she does not even bother to turn around. Bright playfully slaps his friend on the arm.

“I can see that you do not trust this girl.”

Gabriel continues to stare at the path.

“Bright, the girl will tell her people. Perhaps we should leave now and try to reach London before she returns.”

Bright seems taken aback by Gabriel’s certainty. “Are you able to leave now?”

“I do not know, but I can try.”

Gabriel leaves Bright by the window and sits down. He thinks for a few moments and then he glances up at his younger friend.

“We should leave together, but in the morning. I do not think that she will say anything tonight, do you?”

Bright shrugs his shoulders. “I do not know. I cannot read the stupid girl’s mind.”

Gabriel looks at Bright in surprise.

Gabriel dreams of his mother. He gazes at her, but she will not speak to him. He brushes her face with the back of his hand. It feels hot, flushed with anger. His mother is not only physically hurt and bruised, she is also mentally damaged. He can see it in her eyes. Sadly, the muscles in her face are no longer strong enough to bear the weight of a smile. He implores her to flee with him, to let him rescue her, but she looks at him with scorn. She will not run away. Gabriel tries again.

“You must come with me. I can take you to a place where you will be safe. I am a major.”

His mother looks him up and down with a barely perceptible movement of her eyes, and then she laughs.

“Major? Major son.”

Gabriel is angry now. He is a major in command of many men. They are fighting a war for their country and her son is a leader of men. She has no right to laugh at him. Again, he tries to reason with his mother.

“I can save you, but you must come with me now.” Gabriel can hear his men outside. They are becoming restless. Most of them have already lost their families in this war, and they are jealous of the fact that Gabriel still has a mother. Gabriel can see the lighted butts of their cigarettes burning brightly. He looks again at his mother and tries once more to persuade her that she should abandon her house and the material possessions that she appears keen to cling to.

“These things mean nothing. I am talking about your life, that is what is important. You have to protect your life. You know I am telling you the truth, my mother, so why will you not listen? Why are you behaving in this stubborn manner?”

Gabriel continues to dream of his mother. He listens to the increasingly impatient sounds of his men outside. He knows that unless he is able to persuade her to leave with him, then he might never again see her. But what can he do? Carry her out with him? If she does not wish to come with him, then he has no choice but to accept her decision. He continues to look at his mother, who is staring back at her “Major son” with contempt that she seems incapable of disguising.

And then, some time later in the day, Gabriel imagines that he sees Amma and Joshua walking together along the banks of a broad river. Amma’s child is now a small boy, and he dances in between the legs of the adults. Gabriel watches them, but they cannot see him, and he realises that he has been betrayed. He understands now why Amma has chosen Paris over their future together. He understands now why Joshua refused to come to England. These two people have cast him aside and it hurts. He watches them closely, hoping that in their very movements he might pick up some clue as to what is passing through their minds. However, it is clear that Amma is giving to Joshua the love and attention that Gabriel sought from her.

Gabriel watches the child skipping happily, but it is only when the child turns around and looks in Gabriel’s direction that he recognises just what it is about this free-spirited child that disturbs him. The child has Felix’s face. Not just a resemblance, or a similarity, the child is Felix, and now the child points at Gabriel and begins to laugh. Joshua and Amma turn around, but they can see nothing and they wonder why the child is laughing. The boy begins to laugh even louder, and now Gabriel begins to panic. He turns and flees, but the boy chases after him, and no matter how quickly Gabriel runs, the boy runs faster until Gabriel realises that he has no choice but to stop and confront this young Felix. How can he apologise to this young boy for what he has done to him? He hurt him, and then left him to die, and Gabriel knows that he is guilty. Gabriel turns to face the boy, who immediately stops. The two of them stand alone, and then the young Felix begins to cry, and Gabriel realises the degree of hurt that is buried in the boy’s soul. He takes a step towards the young Felix, but the boy backs away.