Caryl Phillips - Crossing the River

Sadly, there is amongst some emigrants a tendency for lying about and doing nothing. True, it is very hot hereabouts, but after the industrious man achieves acclimatization, there is no excuse for not applying himself with unwearied dedication. Those who won’t work and who get along by stealing are becoming something like the natives. Of the money you lodged for me with Mr Gray, I have not seen one cent of it as the gentleman denies all knowledge of the matter. Why he does so I cannot say, but it is so. I informed him that as I am determined to obey your instructions and proceed to the country in order that I might establish a school, I shall require capital. He countered with the knowledge that it would be a deathly and ruinous undertaking to go up there, the native population being uncivilized so that during sickness with fever I would most certainly be robbed of whatever articles of value I might possess. Indeed, the scantiness of the Christian population beyond Monrovia is somewhat surprising, but I am resolved to lead by example and carry the word of God to the heathens.

My resolution has occasioned something of a rift to develop between my good wife, Sally, and myself. She remains steadfast in her belief that the Lord, having blessed me with a reasonable portion of health, will surely regard the exposing of my person to the rigors of the country as both eccentric and foolish. Her concern was initiated by the most recent bleeding from the nose that I suffered. The climate agrees with my health in many respects, but in some respects it does not. This rainy season that we presently endure will, I fear, eventually prove the most injurious portion of the year with reference to my constitution. I have already suffered several bleeding attacks, but this most recent one, which commenced shortly before noon last Sabbath morning, lasted two full hours. It then ceased its red passage, only to recommence at six in the evening, whereupon it determined to set its course clear through until midnight. Sally offered up a volley of prayers to Him that orders all things to His own glory, and clearly He set a favorable ear to her pleading, for the discharge and discomfort soon ceased their labors.

Father, some emigrants hereabouts, having previously embraced religion and displayed the patience necessary to resist the temptation of the evil one, now dance to the discordant tune of drunkenness. I am, however, happy to report that not only my wife but those of our immediate acquaintance remain steadfast in our beliefs. I have attended worship at every opportunity, and find the people very friendly, as does my wife. Her anxieties concerning our impending journey into the interior merely reflect her unease upon receiving alarming stories of the primitive state of affairs beyond this Monrovia. Rest assured, dear father, for she remains a true Christian.

Please give my true love to all my friends, and urge them to conduct themselves in such a manner that they might reasonably expect to meet me in Heaven, that is if I am not fortunate once again to lay eyes upon them in this world. In particular, Aunt Sophie, George, Hannah, Peter Thornton, Fanny Gray, Aggy and Charlotte, Miss Mathilda Danford, Henry, Randolph and Nancy. Above all, please give my love to my dear mother, but you who have done more for me than natural father, or any other, must keep the greater portion of my affections for yourself. Please read what follows in the presence of all your servants so that they might know from one who is free, and in no manner in bondage, thus in no way obligated to express such sentiments, what quality of master they are blessed with: –

There are those servants who, having served their master for more than fifty years, are not rewarded with their liberty, but are instead sold at auction to the highest bidder. How good the Almighty is to have blessed you with such a master as this, for there is not another under Heaven such as your master. I have found since my arrival in Africa that many of your master’s ways and fashions, burdensome though they were while in America, have served to form the basis of my character and have enabled me to survive this seasoning period with relative ease. Under his tutelage my understanding has been enlightened, so I beg of you servants to pay attention, attend school, and seize the opportunity to learn, for not all masters are so inclined to place the wisdom and good sense of the Bible at the disposal of their colored property.

And now to you, dear Father. If they should refuse to attend school or heed your words, you must punish them, whether young or old, for as I have already observed in these parts, too much pleasure brings on sin and ruin. I humbly remind you once more that you should convey my love to my own dear mother, who has been happy in your service for the greater part of her ancient life. Should she be visited by a change of heart, and desire to live out her final years in the bosom of Africa, or should she simply move past useful labor, I trust that despite her unlettered state you would allow her liberty to undertake such a journey. Dear father, I have recently read again the very kind letter you gave me as I set out for college some years ago. It gives me more pleasure than I can express to think that I have one such as you as both advisor and friend, and as I pursue my calling of teacher, I pray that the Lord will not abandon me, for without Him we are nothing and can do nothing. I praise His holy name that I was fortunate enough to be born in a Christian country, amongst Christian parents and friends, and that you were kind enough to take me, a foolish child, from my parents and bring me up in your own dwelling as something more akin to son than servant. Truth and honesty is great capital, and you instilled such values in my person at an early age, for which I am eternally grateful to you and my Creator. Had I been permitted simply to run about, I would today be dwelling in the same robes of ignorance which drape the shoulders of my fellow blacks. Words cannot express my gratitude for the care you displayed towards me during my younger days, for as the Scripture says, train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. I am ever hopeful that we might see each other’s faces again in the flesh, but if the Lord has ordained it otherwise, then I trust that we shall be amongst that number that John saw surrounding the Throne of the Lamb, where sorrow, pain and death are neither felt nor feared no more.

I look up to you as a son to a kind father and will ever expect assistance as long as we hear from each other. Presently I stand in need of help from you by the first chance, for I have not received one cent from your man, and the Society agents hereabouts seem determined to clasp what little there is to their own bosoms. Will you be so kind as to send me some mustard seed and some flax seed for stomach complaint? Father, will you please send me a pair of spectacles for my own use, and a further pair for my wife, Sally? I am very much in want of clothing; you may send some coarse cloth, and shoes. Further, my wife begs of you a spinning wheel and cards to keep her employed. I plead with you, sir, on behalf of myself, to aid us. The amount of four to five hundred dollars would be of little consequence to a man such as yourself, but in this hard country it can overnight alter a man’s fortunes. Anything further that you choose to send, whether dry goods or provisions, will be very acceptable, for this is no different from other new countries. Mr John Sawyer asks if you would be so kind as to send a pair of drum heads. He says he entrusted them to the care of the Captain, but they got wet and the mice made a hole in them. This tale is his own.

I wish you to be so kind as to try to remember my best regards to all enquiring friends. You might remind them to try and serve the Lord, in the hope that He might provide a way for them to reach these lands of civil and religious privileges. At present I have no more to say about myself which can be interesting to you. So, dear sir, receive the kindest wishes of this humble servant. I bid you adieu and do remain your most sincere and affectionate son until death. Dear Father, I trust that the Lord will continue to guard and protect you from all harm and dangers in this sinful world. My prayer to God is that He will bless and preserve you long in life, and at death — having finished your course and performed the work assigned to you — receive you into Heaven where you may sit at the right of God. I hope we shall meet there to part no more. Your affectionate son.