Caryl Phillips - Dancing In The Dark

When Ada returns home she discovers that George has already set forth on his evening adventures, and the framed photograph has been removed from the mantelpiece and is lying abandoned on the sofa. She takes off her coat and sits before the mirror and begins to comb out the kinks in her hair. Although he may betray her with a chorus line of impressionable girls, she has managed to convince herself that in every other way he remains faithful to her. But tonight this is no longer enough for Ada. She puts down the comb and picks up a pair of scissors. Having hurriedly removed the photograph from its ornate brass frame, she carefully slices the offending image into neat strips.

They sit together in silence and wait for the clerk of the court to summon them back into the dimly lit courtroom so they can hear the verdict of the judge. Bert knows that he was right, for the business accounts of Williams and Walker have been made uncomfortably public. The deposition from their lawyer revealed that the American tour of In Dahomey , which followed hard on the heels of their success in England, turned out to be extremely profitable. Everywhere the cash register announced success, and these days they each earn upward of $40,000 a year. The judge gasped as he read out loud the details of their earning power, but George reassured his partner that their relative wealth should not prejudice the outcome. Their case does not concern money, it is related to their professional reputation, and all the arguments have been made on both sides. They sit together in silence and wait, and as they do so Bert steals a nervous glance at his resolute partner.

Especially when set against the austere, and somewhat aloof Mr. Williams, it was clear that many regarded George Walker as little more than a bediamonded Lenox Avenue pimp for, among his many transgressions , it was said that the “chocolate drop” wore silk underwear at a time when most white Americans were still content to sport flannels. However, there was a deeply philosophical side to the man, and there was no doubt about his commitment to the negro race. A somewhat wistful Mr. Williams confirmed that it was in 1906 that his partner stated: “The one hope of the colored performer must be in making a radical departure from the old ‘darky’ style of singing and dancing … there is an artistic side to the black race, and if it could be properly developed on the stage, I believe the theatergoing public would profit much by it.”

They sit together in silence and wait for the clerk of the court. If only there were some way to talk with Bert about his painful yearning for Eva. By doing so he might at least ease some of the burden from his own beleaguered person, but he senses his partner’s disapproval of this woman in particular and so he says nothing. Bert stares down at his loosely clasped hands, which rest awkwardly on his knees, and George continues to sit silently in his partner’s long shadow.

…

Lottie lives for the cherished moment in her sprawling day when she is able to secrete herself in the privacy of the bathroom. She closes in the door and perches on the edge of the enamel tub as the water chuckles from the faucets and the room fills with steam. She eases out of her robe and hangs it on the wooden hook inside the door and dips first one foot, and then the other, into the bathtub until she feels safe enough to slide herself down and under the surface of the water. She lies back and closes her eyes, all the while careful to keep her tightly coiled tufts of hair dry. She lies alone in the bathtub feeling beads of sweat emerge and then melt into her skin, seeing herself from above, imagining floating hair swimming out all around her. Every day, by herself for half an hour, emptying her mind of uncertainties and worries, and then slowly stepping clear of the water and draping her body in a thick towel and regally padding her way to her room, where, now clear of the water, she feels like a fish incapable of breathing. And then again tomorrow. The locked door and the chuckling water.

Lottie hopes that one night she might feel a cool tongue against her body, pulling lazy trails of saliva that will be massaged into her skin with the mouth and tongue working as one joyful unit, working slowly, slowly, fly-flicking tongue bruising her in the hollow of her neck don’t stop don’t yes breathe on me face down on me deeper and down hoping that she might wake up damp and exhausted and on the very edge of civilization bearing the gift of another person’s body.

Her husband enters the bedroom and greets her with a counter-feit smile. He now refuses to take off his clothes in front of her. Mother, I’ll be back. He ambles toward the bathroom clutching an armful of nightclothes, but as he leaves she wonders why he has bothered to abandon his library and return to their bedroom if his performance is to include this insult. She waits, and then he returns, fully covered and ready for sleep, and she understands that once again she will be denied even the most perfunctory of conversations. He does not seem to care that for her it is never really sleep as she is forced to tolerate the high drone of his breathing and privately suffer the pain of a heart that has felt the excitement of her marriage collapse into something that is more demeaning than mere boredom.

George sits in the leather armchair and listens to a pair of feet climbing stairs that he knows are crooked like unstraightened teeth, and then he hears the heavy sound of the lock turning in the door. Marshall has given her the spare key. She enters and stands before him, her cheeks overrouged, her legs slightly parted, her hands on her hips, her heavy scent hanging between them like a morning fog. To his eyes she is beautiful, a field of flowers that one might gaze upon from a fence, and he is happy for once again he is alone with her. He understands that she does not wish to hear his voice, and she cares little for his wit or his intelligence. He understands that she sees something else, but whatever it is that she sees he suspects that it is not George Walker. Eva pulls up her dress and fumbles for the top of her stockings. He watches and betrays interest. The second stocking is discarded and he stands and goes to her, his hands snaking down her sides before slipping around her so that he can clutch her back and pull her close to him. He inserts his fingers into the untamed mass of curls and pulls his hand like a rough comb and tugs her down onto a wooden chair so he can lean over and press himself into her and push firmly. He wrestles with her as her whole body arches and the words begin to fall from her lips yes Christ yes and he tries now to picture what they must look like, but she shudders and begins to talk to him George and in his mind Ada is nowhere to be found only Eva and as he races faster she begins now to moan at first softly George yes George more George, and a guilty George sees himself as Bert must see him but he can’t stop and why should he stop for he loves Eva and Eva loves him and now the tight high-pitched squeal in her throat yes George and a scream and his hand races to clamp her mouth but she bites and he cries in pain and she gasps and breathes quickly but her breath is soon stilled and frozen for the motion is becoming more frenzied and he pushes harder until everything breaks Christ yes yes and she kicks out and knocks over a small table and as he falls back she slides forward on the chair and her voluminous dress billows in the air and settles about her waist exposing her to his eyes in a way more shocking than the act they have just participated in and he closes his eyes and stands in an imaginary circle of shame knowing that he hangs foolishly, embarrassed by the evidence of his lack of self-control, recognizing that again she has seen what she wished to see and he has failed.