Assaf Gavron - The Hilltop

The playground gradually filled up. Bottles of wine and beer stood on a table in the corner alongside plates of crisps and crackers, because, as the rabbis of the Talmud said, a person is obligated to drink on Purim until he does not know the difference between “cursed be Haman” and “blessed be Mordechai.”

The Settlers took to the stage and opened with “Shoshanat Yaakov.” With the aid of lots of cardboard and aluminum foil, eleven-and-a-half-year-old Hananiya Assis had become a pointy space shuttle. To his disappointment, he’d go on to claim just third place in the costume competition. Bigfoot the Abominable Snowman, five-year-old Boaz Yisraeli, who was wrapped in a sheet with eyeholes and sewn-on bits of cotton wool, would be satisfied with fourth place. Gavriel Nehushtan was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in long socks and high-top basketball shoes, a greenish tracksuit, sweatbands around his forehead and wrists, and under his arm a punctured basketball that once belonged to Shimi Gotlieb. His brother, Roni, responded “Harry Potter” to the children who asked what he was dressed up as, and Elazar Freud was Herzl in a black suit and black beard — up until shortly before leaving home, he thought he was King David, but couldn’t find a harp or a red beard. Jean-Marc Hirschson was an IDF officer — he’d retrieved his reserve duty uniform from the closet and pinned an array of colorfully striped war veteran decorations and silver-plated commando unit foxes and wings to his chest.

Another vehicle hummed and drove up and everyone turned their heads. It was merely Nir Rivlin’s Subaru—“So righteous is the Lord,” Neta Hirschson whispered every time she saw no sign of the enemy troops — but not Nir Rivlin behind the wheel: it is but Rambo, complete with bleeding scars and bloated muscles and torn clothing and a plastic machine gun and chains of bullets. Two three-year-olds were his backup in the armed forces: Nefesh-Freud-the-policeman, and Shuv-el-Assis-the-cowboy, armed to the teeth with cap guns and munching on Bamba under a painted mustache. The same list could include Josh, as an Arab terrorist with a kaffiyeh covering most of his red hair and a large plastic mustache fixed above his lip. The Settlers moved on to a joyful Hasidic melody, and then a rock version of a traditional Purim song.

Gabi-Kareem-Abdul-Jabbar kept a tense eye on the encounter between Nir-Rambo and Shaulit-the-penguin. He felt like a kid in the corner at a party who follows the every move of his crush, waiting nervously for a slow dance. What’s happening to me? he asked himself. When the penguin walked by or flashed him a half-smile, he went weak at the knees.

Rachel Assis was Snow White and Othniel, her husband — with the aid of an errant curl and a black hat that could have belonged to a rabbi and a sparkling red suit and eye makeup — Michael Jackson. And aside from their daughter the Dutch girl, and their sons — the left-winger, the space shuttle, and the cowboy — their family also included a fourteen-year-old archaeologist in a khaki outfit and carrying a magnifying glass — Dvora — and a red pepper, wrapped in a special soft rubber material that had been sewn to size and shape and painted a bold red, which won six-year-old Emunah second place in the competition.

Yoni found a brown-and-white-striped shirt and retrieved a pair of real metal handcuffs from the box of security equipment and cuffed one of his wrists — a prisoner. Jehu was Queen Esther complete with makeup and thick sidelocks, and his horse, Killer, wore a Santa Claus hood from Bethlehem. Jenia Freud was dressed as a supermarket cashier in a white robe and thick glasses and a lavish hairdo and repeating the slogan “Do you have a customer card?” Hilik, Nehama, and Shneor Yisraeli dressed up in a group as brides. The infants Zvuli Rivlin and Yemima-Me’ara received tiny pairs of sunglasses and toy guitars and were labeled a rock band. And Neta Hirschson brought along a professional makeup kit from home and helped to make up the children, and then went up on stage to preside over the ceremony. She welcomed the arrivals and badmouthed the government and invited everyone to eat and drink and thanked everyone who was helping out — she herself was dressed as an orange tigress, furry and sharp-clawed.

In first place: three-year-old Tchelet Rivlin, dressed up as corn on the cob, draped in row upon row of kernels sewn by Shaulit’s patient hand for weeks, a pale yellowish corn dress made from the real thing. The idea was Tchelet’s and the work a combined effort of hers and her mother’s, including a hood made from warm fleece that was sewn in the right shape and the right size, with precise holes for eyes, nostrils, ears, and mouth. Perfect, as Neta Hirschson admitted when awarding the prize — a Torah, a festive assortment of treats and candies, and two tickets to the central Purim celebrations at the Convention Center in Jerusalem that evening, with performances by Avraham Fried and Mordechai Ben David.

Of all things not to hear, Omer’s jeep. At that point the party was in full swing, the band was back to playing at full volume after the costume competition and speeches. Empty wine bottles piled up on the side, clouds darkened the sky, the biting cold was almost forgotten, thanks to the steam coming off the bodies packed tightly together in two small groups, women and men. Roni-Harry-Potter told his brother Gabi-Kareem-Abdul-Jabbar that he’d decided to leave the settlement, but Kareem was more focused on congratulating Shaulit-penguin on her daughter’s victory in the costume competition, and the penguin thanked him and whispered that Nir-Rambo would be taking Tchelet-corn to the show at the Convention Center in the evening, so maybe Gabi-Kareem would like to come over to see her? Alongside the sheet that served as the partition, Jehu-Queen-Esther huddled together with Josh-Arab-terrorist, Yoni-prisoner fired glances at Gitit-luscious-Dutch-girl under the stern and watchful eye of Othniel-Michael-Jackson, and Elazar-Freud-Herzl huddled with Jean-Marc-IDF-officer, congratulated him on the pregnancy of Neta-the-tigress, and picked up Nefesh-the-policeman, who was sobbing bitterly. Tears were also choking Hananiya-Assis-Silvery-space-shuttle, who was sure he would win first place, and he was being comforted by Rachel-Snow-White. The spirit of Purim at its finest. And then the soldiers showed up.

A helicopter hovered in the sky. Eyes turned toward it and toward Captain Omer Levkovich’s David jeep and worried glances were exchanged. Othniel located Roni and said to him, “It’s time. Get going.” Harry Potter stared blankly at the Michael Jackson talking to him, his hand clutching his umpteenth bottle of beer. Then he remembered. “Ah! Right! You were serious, yes?”

“Yes,” Othniel replied.

“No, because it’s Purim, and all, and who knows…”

“Serious,” ruled Othniel.

Roni found Yakir the peacenik and said to him, “Come on, let’s move.”

Yakir, who had also had a few drinks, replied, “Ten-four.”

“While I’m thinking about it, take the Arab with you, too,” Othniel said. He pointed at a masked man wearing a kaffiyeh.

“Josh?” Yakir replied.

The three headed out.

Omer’s David jeep was followed by the arrival of Humvees. And armored personnel carriers. And D-9s. A noisy and heavy-duty convoy. The audio system of the Jerusalem sound company carried another traditional Purim tune from the instruments of the Settlers, with the song flowing somewhat surprisingly into a Mashina rock number.

Michael Jackson asked how can this be. And a bride in her wedding dress said it’s incomprehensible. And a tigress screamed oppression. And Snow White cried, “Like so? On a festival? Have you no shame?” Michael Jackson whipped out his phone and called his friend the major general. No answer, not a word. The Settlers sang “He rode to Palestine on a two-humped camel.” Rambo said, “What a mess,” and it wasn’t clear if he was enjoying the wine or concerned about the developments. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar looked for his penguin, and the prisoner was summoned to his commander but he, too, had been drinking a little, fuck it, it’s his last day in the army, he’s allowed to celebrate. The dogs barked, and the convoy came to a halt, and soldiers and blank-faced riot police emerged from the vehicles.