Tatjana Soli - The Forgetting Tree

Her face took Claire aback: a face not only unchanged during this absent time, not only the same, but younger, more vibrant, more the ideal Minna who had already passed by the time they met. No getting around that they were both already damaged by the time their lives intersected. Instead of asking Minna any of the more pressing questions, Claire wanted to ask about that— what fountain of youth did you find, and was it worth it, and are you happy? Minna’s happiness haunted her. But the questions, of course, died on her lips. She could do nothing but go on staring; how her eyes hungered for that face. There were things she wanted to whisper— you are among the loved, you are remembered, in my heart you cannot perish . But the look of tenderness on Minna’s face as she looked at Claire did not fool her. She was not there.

* * *

Claire had never before allowed herself the possibility that Minna was no longer of the world. That Minna was one of the lost, and her attempt at rescue had failed.

Claire needed to believe that out there somewhere, the enigma of Minna remained and kept being added to, so constant and palpable was her presence in Claire’s blood, behind her eyes, in her breath. Surely this vision was not a leave-taking, a sign that she had passed over. Surely it was a product of Claire’s overheated day, too much champagne and wedding cake. Without country, without kinship, without name, how could Minna survive? Claire was brokenhearted as she at last closed her eyes in good-bye, certain Minna would be vanished when she reopened them.

Claire felt her leaving then, a cold breeze, and the lonely, motherless pull of Minna wanting her to come with her in exile that fiery night. Adieu. But Claire was already home. Home made out of the walls of connection, not boards or plaster, or even rows of orange trees. A home now stronger because it was built on forgiveness, with the full knowledge that it hung over an abyss that could reopen any day. Wherever Minna was in the world, Claire would remain at that exact spot on the earth, her land, diminished but real, a lighthouse to signal her in. Claire burned a candle in the window, Raisi’s flame, reignited to light the way for yet another daughter finding her way. Minna only had to see it and be returned. Come. This is the only place. The beginning and the end. Home.

I am indebted to many excellent books in my research. One of the seminal books that made me want to become a writer and provided the inspiration for this book was Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys. For the biographical facts of her life, I referred to Jean Rhys by Helen Carr and Jean Rhys: Life and Work by Carole Angier. For my understanding of citrus farming: A Citrus Legacy by John H. Hall; Oranges by John McPhee; Pay Dirt by J. I. Rodale; and Orange Empire by Douglas Cazaux Sackman. Books that were important in my understanding of Haiti: both the fiction and nonfiction of Edwidge Danticat, most especially Create Dangerously, The Butterfly’s Way, Krik? Krak! The Dew Breaker , and The Farming of Bones ; Bob Shacochis’s Swimming in the Volcano and The Immaculate Invasion ; Amy Wilentz’s The Rainy Season; and Tell My Horse by Zora Neale Hurston, especially for the lyrics to “Maitresse Ersulie.” Also instrumental to my understanding of Haiti were the documentaries Aristide and the Endless Revolution by Nicolas Rossier; The Agronomist by Jonathan Demme; and Ghosts of Cité Soleil by Asger Leth. The excerpt from “I Love You Truly” was written by Carrie Jabobs Bond. I would like to thank Katie Shull, John Northrop, and Gina Vela for answering endless questions. I would also like to give a special thanks to Rabih Nassif for his patient listening through numerous drafts. Sandrine Belanger for being my North Star. For the artwork, I’m indebted to my husband, Gaylord Soli. I would like to thank Hilary Rubin Teeman and Dori Weintraub for making me feel well cared for. Lastly, thanks to Nat Sobel for being in my corner.

TATJANA SOLI lives with her husband in Southern California. Her New York Times bestselling debut novel, The Lotus Eaters , was a finalist for the Los Angeles Times Book Prize, a New York Times Notable Book, and won the 2011 James Tait Black Prize.