Helen Oyeyemi - The Icarus Girl

Jess raised her eyebrows in wonder,

(I don’t think you are older than Year Six, TillyTilly) then quietly sat down and began her own drawing. She was drawing a rainbow arching over a house. She was quite good at houses and rainbows, and trees as well, but avoided drawing people because she was bad at people. Also, she didn’t want to embarrass TillyTilly, because as bad as she was at drawing people, she was almost certain that her people drawings were better than Tilly’s.

She stuck her tongue out a little with the exertion of colouring the windows in blue, even right up to the very corners for a perfect picture, and when she looked up, she saw that across from her, TillyTilly had her tongue stuck out a little too as her eyes scanned Jess’s face. Jess smiled uncertainly. What is she doing? TillyTilly smiled her rapid and fast-disappearing smile, then closed her mouth again and carried on drawing.

When Tilly had gone, Jess spent the rest of the afternoon lying on her bed, drowsing. Her head had begun to ache again, and she wondered if she shouldn’t go and get something from her mum for it, then decided that she couldn’t really be bothered to get up. Also, her mum would probably think that it was all a trick so that she’d have to stay and take care of Jess. Soon, the heat of the day outside began to annoy her, and she tugged her curtains closed. There would probably be a storm tonight, she thought feebly, curling up with one arm draped across her forehead to block out the light.

Jess had just opened her eyes after another short, confused nap in which she had been unsure if she was awake or asleep, when she perceived, out of the corner of her eye, that there was someone staring at her from outside her room, virtually filling the passageway with their presence, which sounded like a continuous buzzing, clicking hum. It was like hmmmzzzmmmzzzhmmm, over and over. It felt as if it had been staring at her for a very long time, with the biggest eyes she had ever seen, only she hadn’t noticed. It was very, very tall yet didn’t seem to have a body, but appeared to be made of a sort of vibrating blackness. Blackness like the darkest jelly. Hmmzzzmmm . It looked as if the tall thing wasn’t going to come in, but it certainly wasn’t about to let her out either. She felt light-headed and not at all concerned about it, although if she had been well, she might have been worried. She could hear herself humming a wordless song, as she did when she was feeling poorly. Oh, she was definitely quite ill.

Finally, she mustered enough concern to look directly at the person, and then discovered that it wasn’t actually there, and that she had been the one making the humming, clicking sound herself, with her teeth and tongue.

So that was all right then.

She fell asleep properly.

She was feeling much better in the evening, when her mum, wafting scent all over the place, hugged and kissed her good night.

Her father kissed her on the forehead.

“See you later, enormous girl,” he said.

Jess gave him a grudging smile. She sat herself on the bottom step of the staircase and watched as they went through the door, leaving it open for Aunt Lucy, who was struggling to free herself from Dulcie. Uncle Adam was already in the car; he was driving them over.

“Don’t goooooooo, Mummy, it’ll be a rubbish old party anyway,” Dulcie entreated, holding on to Aunt Lucy’s leg for dear life.

“Come on, Dulcie, you’re being silly,” Aunt Lucy said. She sounded as if she was beginning to get very annoyed.

The babysitter, who was standing by the staircase, her arm resting on the banister, observed the situation and sprang into action. Jess watched. Her name was Lidia, and she was at university, far older than Year Six. She was studying something long and boring-sounding that began with a B. Jess wished she could remember what it was, but it had been said too fast. She had thought that Lidia would look boring as well, because you had to be boring to spend your time babysitting, but she wasn’t; she just looked like a normal person, only wearing dangly wooden earrings. She had the nicest hair, too, long and thick and dark. Plus, she had brought a whole bag full of good stuff with her: puzzles and food and things. She was from Madeira. Jess hadn’t said a word to her yet, because she was going to look up Madeira and then say something interesting about it in front of Lidia (and Dulcie) so that Lidia would think she knew all about it. So. . why don’t you have bells in your hair in the usual Madeiran tradition? she’d say, and Lidia (and Dulcie) would look at her and realise that she was not to be messed with, nor, more importantly, a baby.

“Dulcie,” Lidia said, walking towards Dulcie and Aunt Lucy, “guess what? I’ve got some ice cream! I bet you like chocolate ice cream.”

Dulcie hesitated, and then let her mother go.

“Yeah, I like chocolate ice cream,” she admitted, as her mother gave Lidia a grateful smile and, dropping a kiss on Dulcie’s forehead, left. “But you didn’t need to say it like that, as if I’m an idiot or something: nyehnyehnyeh. . do you like ice cream? Nyeh .”

Lidia laughed. “All right, sorry.”

Dulcie glared at Jess and tossed her blond hair around.

“What are you looking at?”

Jess did not deign to reply. She knew what the tossing of the hair meant; it was a demand for admiration. Everyone always went mad over Dulcie’s long blond hair — it was just like Alison Carr’s. In fact, it was possible that if Dulcie Fitzpatrick had lived in Jess’s area and gone to Jess’s school, Alison Carr would have had some serious competition. There’d have been rival factions, Dulcians and Alisonites, and Jess would have claimed the friendship of the others as the cousin of The Dulcie. Hmmm. Jess looked at Lidia, waiting for her to say, Wow, Dulcie, your hair is so nice. Such a pretty girl , but Lidia didn’t say that. She looked at the two of them and said, “So, do you want ice cream or not?”

Jess got up and followed Dulcie and Lidia into the kitchen. Dulcie was already holding Lidia’s hand, and she didn’t even know her! What a suck-up.

Dulcie pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and waited while Lidia started scooping out the ice cream. It was softening already, dripping down the edges of the scoop as Lidia began squishing it into the bowl. Jess remained standing, eyeing Lidia suspiciously. Dulcie gave her a smug glance, basking in the knowledge that she was bound to be Lidia’s favourite. Lidia was humming as she began spooning ice cream into a third bowl, and Dulcie’s preening was cut short by Lidia turning around and handing her the ice cream and a spoon. Jess stifled a laugh at Dulcie’s angelic expression as she said, syrup-sweet, “Thank you, Lidia.”

Lidia looked unconvinced. “Hmmm,” she said.

She turned to Jess.

“Aren’t you going to sit down? This is your house, after all!”

Jess took a seat around the table from where Dulcie and Lidia sat. There was silence as they all ate the ice cream. Jess could see Dulcie’s eyes moving back and forth. She was probably trying to think of something engaging to say or do.

After a few seconds, Dulcie put her elbows on the table and wiped her mouth.

“So, when are you going to beat us?” she asked.

Lidia looked startled.

“What?”

Dulcie eyed the babysitter apprehensively.

“You know. . that’s what babysitters do. . They beat people when their parents are gone.” She looked at Jess for confirmation, but Jess just ducked her head with an embarrassed laugh and went on with the slightly less complicated business of eating the ice cream. It was quite difficult with Lidia and Dulcie across the table from her. She put one hand over her mouth so that they didn’t see her eating.