Helen Oyeyemi - The Icarus Girl

Jess thought for a moment about the time she’d been there with her mum and her mum’s old school friends. With TillyTilly, she was certain, it would be different. But—

“TillyTilly, it’s Sunday!” she exclaimed. “I don’t think it’ll be open!”

TillyTilly folded her arms and gave Jess a scornful stare. Jess felt the blood rushing to her cheeks.

“Was your grandfather’s study open?” Tilly demanded. Jess slowly shook her head, then nodded it, unsure whether Tilly meant before or after Tilly had broken in. “Come on!”

TillyTilly started to walk, and Jess stood still for a couple of seconds, then, laughing, caught up with her.

Even before they arrived at the gates of the amusement park, Jess was utterly exhausted, and her brown sandals were caked with dust. The walk from Bodija to central Ibadan, where the amusement park was, was so tiring that Jess started to feel oddly, as if she was walking uphill and, her vision swimming with her weariness, had more than once suggested to TillyTilly that they turn back and sit in the parlour with some minerals.

“I’d just need to explain who you were and then we could—” she began, but TillyTilly interrupted her.

“You can’t tell anyone about me, Jessy! Can’t you tell that I’m not supposed to be there?”

Jessamy felt as if she were finally getting somewhere.

“So you do live in the Boys’ Quarters?” she pressed.

TillyTilly just trudged along silently, the back of her dress trailing on the ground. Jess watched the bit of material get steadily dirtier and dirtier.

Finally, Tilly stopped walking and shot her a sideways glance.

“I do. Sometimes.”

She gave a loud sigh, an irritated sigh, (look what you’ve done, Jessy, you’ve made me cross with your questions) and shaking her head slightly, continued walking.

Jess wanted to ask if she lived there with her parents, but it was clear from the set of her friend’s shoulders that any further questioning would not be welcome. Maybe Tilly was like Sara Crewe and both her parents were dead; that must be why she hid in the Boys’ Quarters and was so adept at stealing candles— maybe it was the only way that she could survive.

Maybe.

“TillyTilly, are you angry with me?” Jess cried, hurrying after her friend.

Tilly shot her an unreadable glance.

“No.”

Jess felt uncomfortable, as if she should apologise anyway.

“I’m sorry,” she offered.

Tilly trudged on, but the fact that she was now swinging her arms slightly indicated that she was in a better mood.

“It’s all right, Jessy. I wasn’t mad at you.”

Liar , thought Jess, you were. You’re a liar .

She blinked, surprised at this traitorous thought. What could have made her suddenly feel so hostile towards Tilly, who was mysterious and almost magical, opening doors that were locked, living in a deserted building next to a whole family of people without their noticing!

“Just don’t ask me any more questions. It’s not fair. I don’t ask YOU any questions,” Tilly pointed out.

“Except for when you first came up to me, and you were copying me,” Jess reminded her.

TillyTilly suddenly looked confused, passing a hand over her forehead in a distracted manner.

“What?” she snapped. “Shut up!”

Jess’s mouth clamped shut. Now TillyTilly was sounding just like the other children at school. She wanted to turn back on her own, but she was scared because she didn’t know the way. She decided that she was going to keep on following Tilly, but she was going to let her know that she wasn’t happy about it.

“You’re being really mean, Titiola,” she said firmly, not caring that she had pronounced it in an overly English way. Two could be mean.

Instead of wincing, or getting angrier, Tilly looked at her thoughtfully.

“Sorry,” she said abruptly.

Jess revised her opinion all over again. TillyTilly had apologised, and had regained her place as the most interesting person that Jess knew.

“It’s all right,” she said happily, and they linked arms and walked on.

At the padlocked gates, the words AMUSE YOURSELVES were picked out in yellow-, red- and green-painted bubble letters above them.

TillyTilly surveyed the gates.

“Do you think you can climb over?” she asked.

The gates loomed impossibly high.

“No way!”

She waited.

Tilly cocked her head and looked at Jess consideringly.

“Are you sure? I think you could. I could.”

Jess shook her head emphatically.

“I couldn’t, TillyTilly!”

“All right,” said Tilly, and, leaning on the bars of the iron amusement-park gates, stretched her arms out and pushed them open.

The gates went backwards with a gust of warm air, and the padlocks fell to the ground, their chains loosened, sunken in the sand. Jess stared at the enormous padlock at her feet, then up at the gates, then at TillyTilly, then around.

No one was about. She was grateful for that.

“TillyTilly,” she said. “What did you—?”

Tilly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her along. They ran into the park, which was empty of people, but full of swinging movement and the dusky brown of settling sand and dust. Jess whooped and jumped around Tilly in a circle, almost inaudible below the music from the bumper-car dome and the whirring of various machineries. The Ferris wheel, which stood a little distance from the slides, flashed bright neon red and green. Tilly and Jess slapped hands and bumped hips, laughing in disbelieving exhilaration. Jess ran over to the big yellow inflatable slide, and climbed to the top of it. Arms stretched up to the sky, her mouth ready to shout with elation, she launched herself downwards, slipping and skidding and bumping down to make it last longer.

It was as if the amusement park was alive . The bumper cars were whirling about, dots of colour playing over the roof of the glass dome that they were housed in, and Jess could imagine ghostly passengers swerving crazily over the tracks on the floor.

Jess climbed to the top of the slide again, and watched the Ferris wheel turn slowly at first and then faster, until it was a steadily rotating wheel of light. She stared around, gaping as she realised that all of this was really happening, and suddenly sat down.

“TillyTilly,” she began to say, then the sound became a squeal as she found that she was freefalling down the slide again.

When she reached the bottom, she caught her breath and then ran around to where TillyTilly was jumping up and down by the bumper-car dome.

“Come on!” Tilly said and leapt into a moving car.

Jess hesitated, afraid of jumping for a seat and missing, but TillyTilly waved at her impatiently with one hand, already steering herself away from the other cars that were randomly colliding with the one she had selected.

“What are you doing just standing there?” Tilly demanded, standing up in her seat, turning the wheel so far to the right that she nearly veered into the wall.

Jess laughed and ran for a bumper car, which swerved out of her way. She managed to skip out of the way of another, which had been heading for the back of her legs. She could hear Tilly laughing and calling out, and began to feel flustered.

“You can do it, Jess! You can get one! Just jump!”

Jess grabbed at the very next bumper car that came her way, throwing herself at it and clambering up into the seat, scratching her shin on the chrome as she did so.

Tilly immediately drove at her, ramming into Jess’s car before she got a chance to handle the steering wheel properly. The jolt shuddered through her body, making her teeth chatter, and Tilly threw her head back and laughed, moving away to bump an empty car. Jess, gritting her teeth, intent on revenge, managed to dodge Tilly’s bumper car, positioning herself so that she could slam into her with maximum impact.