Maggie Gee - Virginia Woolf in Manhattan

‘Birds.’

‘Why are they in a crate?’

‘They’re pigeons. Racing pigeons. They fell off a lorry.’

‘You ought to let them go.’

‘Who says so?’ Lily jutted her brown jaw at Gerda, and after a split second of nervousness Gerda said ‘The Great God Gerda,’ and Lily chuckled and said ‘Fuck off.’

It grew dark as they walked round the lake in Central Park. You could see the lights from the buildings on the edge, but the lake itself was huge and black, with strange cracklings and rustlings running like rats through the bushes along the edges. Lily told Gerda she was beautiful. Gerda was pleased someone else had noticed.

‘We could swim in that lake,’ Gerda said to her companion. ‘I’m good at swimming. I’ve won medals.’

‘Not tonight,’ said Lil. There was a long silence. Their feet crunched on beside the dark water; a water-bird broke the surface with a splash. Then Lily asked, sounding oddly shy, ‘If you stay with me, will you teach me to swim?’

‘Can’t you swim?’ Gerda asked, astonished.

‘You can’t do loads of things that I can do,’ Lil flashed back, instantly angry.

‘I will teach you,’ Gerda said, though she thought ‘I won’t be here long enough.’ She was amazed to be here; Lily was a goddess; she was having the adventure of her dreams; yet somehow she already knew she would have to go back to the world outside, where she had Prospects, and Lil did not.

ANGELA

‘Such a lot to do, so little time! Two days is all we’ve got for the whole of Istanbul. Where is the waiter?’

VIRGINIA

Two days left. She was frightening me. I felt that the end of the story was coming, and then perhaps mine would be over — but no, please, I wanted to stay and watch life unfold to the end of time.

All round us, people were laughing and talking, the brilliant light making the women’s hair into swinging bells of bronze and jet, and some of them had children on their laps, and a man passed selling wind-up puppies — I realised something with a shivering force that made the hairs on my arms electric.

No, I had never wanted it.

I myself never wanted to die. The self I knew, the self I owned, that loved the sunlight on the spine of the downs, loved Leonard, loved my Nessa.

Of course I didn’t want to die. It was just the illness, the cloud of darkness, something outside me, tracking me.

‘Where is the waiter?’ she asked, impatient.

‘I’m happy,’ I said, ‘Happy to be here.’ I wanted her to know what I was feeling. Maybe I owed everything to her. Without her, after all, I wouldn’t be here — no, I might still be down in the dark — not that one always loves one’s saviour.

‘I’m glad,’ she said, and she looked less cross. ‘For me, of course, it’s all quite stressful.’

‘The Turks are nice,’ I offered. ‘They’re very friendly at our hotel.’

‘Virginia, this isn’t New York. I know that there you had friends in the lobby, but here it isn’t such a great idea.’

‘Why not?’

‘They will try to sell you something.’

‘They tried to sell me things in New York. They were always suggesting one outing or another, some special deal they could book for me.’ (In fact, we also talked about their families, and the young today, and how to write books. I even talked about her and Gerda. But yes, they did try to sell me things.)

‘They will try to exploit you,’ she said. ‘I know. It’s different here.’

I was looking at the menu. ‘Things are cheaper. So I’ll be cheated less.’

Her mouth was tight again. She waved at the waiter. ‘Bring me a bottle of the house white.’

The waiter was just at the end of being young. He had elaborate hair to hide the start of baldness. ‘Ladies,’ he said, with a practised smile that managed to embrace us both. ‘Lovely ladies. How else can I serve you?’

‘Could you take my coat?’ I asked. ‘That heater above us is rather warm.’ He performed the task caressively, taking his time to slide the collar from my shoulders, freeing each arm gently and slowly. I enjoyed the operation. I enjoyed his touch. ‘Beautiful coat, beautiful lady.’

Angela looked affronted. ‘Could you take mine?’ she said sharply. ‘Hang it where I can see it, please.’ He removed hers, a little roughly.

‘You see,’ Angela hissed as he went away. ‘They will even flirt with old women, it’s disgraceful!’

ANGELA

As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn’t. ‘Not that you’re an old woman, of course. I mean, we both are, if anything.’

Fortunately, at that very second the waiter returned with yellow wine, and the moment passed, she wasn’t offended, but I cast a quick glance at our reflections in the big plate-glass window behind us and just for a moment I thought, it’s true, I don’t look that much younger than her.

I was tired from the journey, that was all. I was beaten down from travelling with her .

‘Where are you from?’ The waiter was asking. Or rather, asking Virginia, who was smiling too much as he poured her wine. ‘I think must be Paris,’ he pretended to decide.

‘We’d like to order,’ I interrupted.

She said she hadn’t decided yet. I didn’t care. I seized the menu, ordered for two, fish soup then the special. ‘Please bring the water now, at once.’

VIRGINIA

I saw her demons were attacking her. ‘I enjoy talking to people, Angela.’

ANGELA

‘Turkish waiters aren’t people, in that sense.’

VIRGINIA

I was the one who was supposed to be snobbish! I was the one who made generalisations! ‘That’s another generalisation,’ I said.

ANGELA

‘Virginia, don’t be difficult. It’s all right for you, but I’m very tired. I’ve got so many things to do.’

VIRGINIA

With that, her phone was out of her pocket. She laid it on the table, the veil came down, she was tapping the glass to bring her ghosts to life, she took a great swallow of her wine.

I felt rejected. I drank too. The golden liquid slipped sweetly down. ‘ Pardon ,’ I said. She looked at me. ‘You know, Turkish “sorry”,’ I reminded her. ‘I’m sorry if I offended you. Don’t start internetting, Angela. Let’s make a plan before the soup arrives.’

ANGELA

As soon as Virginia had some wine, her mood became less quarrelsome.

VIRGINIA

(

raising her glass

)

‘Thank you for letting me come with you.’

ANGELA

When she was on form, there was no-one nicer.

At the next table, American students were swopping boasts about their travels. ‘You haven’t seen the Taj Mahal? I was there at 6 AM. That was kind of cool. It’s the time to see it, as the sun rises. Course, it isn’t open until later.’

‘What’s it like inside?’

‘I couldn’t hang around.’

‘Macchu Pichu, that would be tops for me.’

Virginia was listening with half an ear. ‘They must be very rich,’ she hissed.

I inspected them. They wore jeans, T-shirts, which told me nothing, but their trainers did: bog-standard Nike. ‘They’re not,’ I said. ‘You see, everybody travels. Well, everybody young. That is, the students.’

‘How do they afford it?’

‘Some of them have loans. And travel is cheap. Their expectations are different. They “do” South America, all of them. It’s normal to travel all over the globe.’

Virginia said, ‘In our day, very few people travelled. I think most people, now, are rich.’

‘I’d say the Great Wall of China,’ said the girl. ‘It’s so … long. And kinda wavy.’

‘How long did you have there?’

‘Half a day.’

‘You have to get on top of the itinerary.’