Ann-Marie MacDonald - Way the Crow Flies

But it’s too late. From the back seat, Madeleine chants, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!” Mimi raises an eyebrow at her husband. Madeleine continues: “‘Are you tired and listless? Take Dodd’s Little Liver Pills for fast, effective relief.’”

Mimi and Jack exchange a look, suppressing a laugh. She says to her daughter in the mirror, “I hope you listen half so well in school this year.”

ON SUNDAY MORNING, Jack gets through the sermon at Mass by recalling Mimi in bed last night. Madeleine gets through by imagining how she would go about scaling the interior walls to the ceiling. Jack calculates in his mind how much he would need to put aside every week in order to buy his wife a mink coat. Every Christmas she warns him, as she prepares to unwrap her presents, “It better not be a you-know-what,” and throws the box at him if he has spent too much on her. She always throws the box, and sometimes weeps if it is just trop beau . What better thanks could a man hope for? It’s difficult, however, to squirrel away money when your wife is the comptroller of the family. Madeleine tugs the strangulating organza at her neck and imagines escaping on a motorcycle with Steve McQueen through a hail of bullets. “… Go in peace,” says the priest.

“Come here, Mimi.”

“Jack, what are you doing?”

“On your feet, woman.”

“Oh Jack.” And they dance. Three o’clock on Sunday afternoon. The priest has just left. He was here for brunch, and now Jack has put the soundtrack to South Pacific on the hi-fi.

“Let’s get outta here,” Madeleine says to Mike.

“Come here, you.”

“Dad!” And she dances with her father.

“You dance divinely, Missy.”

“Sissy,” Mike rhymes from the couch, for which he gets a look from Jack. A complicit look that says, being a gentleman is part of being manly even though it might seem sissyish now.

Madeleine lowers her eyes, not to look at her feet but to hide her delight as she lifts one hand to her father’s shoulder and places the other in his. When she was little she used to put her feet on his, but she is older now and her new patent-leather Mary Janes step in time with his Daks. She is still in her lacerating dress of pink spun glass, but has ceased complaining because Maman keeps telling her to offer up her suffering for the poor souls in purgatory. How many years off one’s time in the purifying flames can be bought by eight-year-old girls in scratchy dresses? The saving grace of this getup is Madeleine’s white Communion gloves: ribbed on the back like Bugs Bunny’s. Nyah, offer it up, doc . That was flippant, sorry, dear God.

Jack says to her, “That’s it, don’t think about it, just relax and feel the music.” They sweep together gracefully around the coffee table and he sings along softly with “Some Enchanted Evening”…. Mimi joins in.

“Mike, dance with your mother,” says Jack.

“Voulez-vous danser, maman?” And he offers her his hand.

“Que t’es beau, Michel.” Mimi resists kissing her son and they dance. She is teaching him to lead.

She puts on a big-band record she bought in nurses’ training in Montreal. Chick Webb and his orchestra. Demon on the drums. “Time to cut the rug,” she says, pushing back the coffee table.

They watch their parents jive, dangerously close to the crystal roosters from Spain, perilously grazing the oil painting of the Alps, rattling the end tables where the Hummels share pride of place with the Royal Doultons.

Mike and Madeleine take turns being whipped around like spaghetti at the end of their mother’s arm — she looks fiercely serious one second and the next she is laughing like a teenager — at times like this, she seems more like a babysitter than their mother. “It’s a wild party!” shouts Madeleine, and she and Mike dance in a frenzy, wash-the-dishes-dry-the-dishes-turn-the-dishes-over! Dad laughs until his face turns red and his gold tooth flashes. He snaps a picture. Maybe this Christmas we’ll get a home movie camera.

After supper, a solemn rite. To do with love and loss. The loss of the past, and its transformation into precious memory. This alchemical feat always includes popcorn.

There is nothing so persuasive to deep recall as the hum of the slide projector in the dark. The audible fuzz that follows each colour slide as it sh-clinks into view. The longer ago the picture, the longer the moment of silence before Dad’s cheerful voice in the dark: “That was a beautiful day, remember that day, Maman?”

A picnic among the pines of the Schwarzwald. Maman sitting on the plaid blanket, legs folded sideways, sunglasses and white kerchief. A tenderer-looking Mike, Madeleine with her long braids, squinting at the camera.

Sh-clink . It is not remembering so much as not forgetting. Madeleine contemplates the slides intently. Reverently. Each is an emblem of a vanished world. A doorway in a mountain, sealed forever.

Sh-clink . Monaco. The pink palace where Princess Grace lives. “That was the day I broke my heel and you got so mad at me,” Mimi says to Jack. Certain things must be remembered after each slide. The pastry we had there, Madeleine got lost on the beach here—“I wasn’t lost, I went for a walk.”

“That was one of the nicest holidays ever, remember, kids?”

Sh-clink . Camping on the Riviera. Jack’s crumpled straw hat and four-day growth of beard. “The best accommodation in Europe costs you either a thousand francs or five.”

Sh-clink . “The fruitcake!” Grandmaman’s fruitcake, which had been mailed from Canada the previous Christmas and took a whole year to arrive. Still moist and rummy. “A piece of that fruitcake every day, boy, I tell you you’d live forever,” says Jack, as he always does.

“That was one of the nicest Christmases ever, remember, Jack?” says Mimi.

“I remember.”

Sh-clink . Alberta. “How’d that one slip in there?” says Jack. A tiny bundled Madeleine in a baby carriage perched atop a snowbank.

“I remember that,” she says.

“You do not,” says Mike.

“Do so!”

Sh-clink . Hameln. They have not looked at this slide before, so there are no comments that go with it yet. It is of Madeleine and Jack standing in front of the statue of the Pied Piper.

“There’s Uncle Simon.”

Jack says, “Where?”

Madeleine gets up and points at the screen, where a shadow spills across her father’s trouser leg and the skirt of her dress — the silhouette of head and raised elbows. Simon, taking the picture.

This is one thing Madeleine has on Mike; she has met Simon. He taught their father to fly. He told her to call him “Uncle.” He is a decorated veteran. He laughed at everything she said and asked her to come work for him. He did not look exactly like David Niven but that’s who she has come to associate him with — the kind of dashing grown-up who might offer you a cocktail and think nothing of it. He said, “The best spy of the Second World War was a woman, did you know that?” And told her about a member of the French Resistance, Jeannie Rousseau — pronounced “Johnny.” “Do you know what her code name was?”

“No.”

“It was ‘Madeleine.’”

She smiled shyly but she could feel her destiny stirring.

Johnny told the Allies about Hitler’s secret weapon. “The V-2 rocket,” said Uncle Simon. “That’s why we were able to bomb their factory.”

“Operation Hydra,” said her father. “You were in on that show, weren’t you, Si?”

Simon just smiled and said, “I and a few others.” Then he looked back down at Madeleine. “We’d never have been able to do it without Johnny.”