Alasdair Gray - Old Men in Love

Socrates starts shaking his head from side to side.

ANYTUS: — The joke stopped being funny then, it had become the truth. Why are you shaking your head Socrates, don’t you agree with the oracle?

SOCRATES: The oracle did not say that. A friend of mine asked if anyone in Greece was wiser than me. She said “No.”

ANYTUS: But you agree some people are wiser than others?

SOCRATES: Yes.

ANYTUS: So you must agree that a few must be wiser than the rest?

SOCRATES: Mm. . Yes!

ANYTUS: Of that few two or three will be wisest of all?

SOCRATES: ( gravely ) I’m afraid you’re right.

ANYTUS: Have you ever been in the company of two or three equally wise men, Socrates? Wasn’t one always wiser than the others? And wasn’t he always you?

Some laughter in court.

SOCRATES: ( clapping his hands cheerfully ) Well done Anytus!

ANYTUS: ( smiling thinly ) Charming isn’t he? I agree with the oracle. Socrates is the wisest man. And where does he get his wisdom? His followers say he hears a demon, a voice within his brain or heart or belly — exactly where do you hear it, Socrates?

SOCRATES: I don’t know Anytus, I’m not hot on anatomy.

ANYTUS: ( fiercely ) Never mind! That demon, that voice is your god, Socrates and beside it the eternal Father of Heaven and lesser gods of our nation are — not your enemies for a man takes his enemies seriously — they’re toys; our gods are toys to you, aren’t they? Aren’t they?

SOCRATES: Well –

PRESIDENT: Wait a minute! Anytus, is that question rhetorical or do you want it answered now?

ANYTUS: Let him answer it in his defence speech.

PRESIDENT: If you direct rhetorical questions to the jury in future you’ll make my job a lot easier.

Anytus nods and addresses the jury, starting quietly.

ANYTUS: If a man lives among us with an extra, perhaps divine source of wisdom how should he use it? I say he should use it to instruct and help people. All the people. If he sees our laws are wrong he should seek to change them by speaking in parliament. If he has friends — and Socrates has many — he can be made a magistrate or ambassador because our democracy has always been able to use superior intelligences. But Socrates prefers to teach special people. Look at his disciples over there! Yes, there’s a ragged coat or two among them but most are rich and half are very young. And what does the Socratic demon teach these rich young men? It teaches them about goodness. Goodness fascinates Socrates like a beautiful child fascinates a pederast. He can’t leave it alone. Mention love, justice, courage and he’s on to you at once. “What is love? What is justice? Are they good? Is goodness not sometimes a badness? Are the things we call bad not sometimes very good indeed?”

Well, I’m no expert, I’m an Athenian citizen who loves his city, so I’ll remind you of the effects of this teaching on rich young men who heard it. Not long ago we lost a great war and a great empire by the treachery of that man’s darling pupil. The Spartans destroyed our democracy and set up a bloody dictatorship of our richest citizens. Three pupils of Socrates were among them and the richest of all was head of it! Never mind! Democracy has been restored and that man is continuing to spread his evil wisdom. Let us hear how he does it. Can I call a witness Mr President?

PRESIDENT: ( looking at a paper in his hand ) Yes, but I must ask the court to refrain from demonstrations of disapproval. We’ll never get at the truth without some intelligent self-restraint. You’re all Athenians, so show it.

ANYTUS: ( loudly ) Alcibiades!

Murmurs from the crowd as Alcibiades strolls on stage. Forty, still strikingly handsome in semi-military dress, he stands at ease with fists on hips, facing the jurors and looking slightly amused. He does not look at Anytus who is a little way behind him and equally ignores Socrates, who watches him wistfully.

ANYTUS: I want to summarize your political career.

ALCIBIADES: Why? Evwybody knows it.

ANYTUS: A few have short memories. We used to call you the Darling of Athens. You were the nephew of the great Pericles, and a rich playboy, and a popular war leader.

ALCIBIADES: ( ruefully ) Long, long ago.

ANYTUS: At the height of the war, when Athens and Sparta were about to sign a peace treaty, you got it rejected by telling both sides a pack of lies.

ALCIBIADES: ( sighing ) I was ambitious.

ANYTUS: Ambitious, yes. You tricked us into invading Sicily. You led a gigantic army out there which ought to have been defending our empire at home.

ALCIBIADES: Yes, it was a gamble. ( smiling ) Think how wich we’d have been if we’d won!

ANYTUS: How could we win? You turned traitor and deserted to the Spartans before we even engaged them! Our army was. . ( shakes head and shrugs, helplessly ). . destroyed. Massacred. Except for the few who were allowed to surrender and become slaves. A few still trickle back to us sometimes. Cripples, with brands on their brows. From the quarries of Syracuse.

Silence in court has almost the pressure of an explosive uproar.

ALCIBIADES: ( coolly ) I wish I had led that army. It could have won.

ANYTUS: You deserted to the enemy!

ALCIBIADES: Nowhere else to go, old boy. Your lot — the majority party — were sending the police to awest me.

ANYTUS: ( loudly ) On a charge of heresy! We had proof that you and a parcel of rich young degenerates had been acting obscene parodies of the most sacred ceremony in our religion. The ceremony. . ( suddenly, in a low voice ). . the ceremony of the mothers.

Over-loud murmurs and cries of disapproval from many jurors the president shouts:

PRESIDENT: Silence! Silence in court!

ALCIBIADES: ( out-yelling everyone ) Yes it was all twemendous fun!

Shocked silence ensues. Alcibiades turns and looks at Anytus.

ALCIBIADES: What has this to do with Socwates?

PRESIDENT: Tell him, Anytus.

ANYTUS: Socrates was your teacher.

ALCIBIADES: ( shrugging ) He did his best.

ANYTUS: He was your lover?

ALCIBIADES: If you mean, did he love me? ( sighs ) Yes, he was like most people in Athens then.

ANYTUS: I think he corrupted you.

ALCIBIADES: ( with a pleased grin ) Are you talking about sodomy?

ANYTUS: Partly.

ALCIBIADES: ( enjoying himself ) I see! Well, speaking as a part-time sodomite I’m afwaid I found Socwates disappointing. You may wemember that my good looks in those days were. . wemarkable. ( sighs ) Never mind. Late one evening I invited him home for a meal. We ate, I sent the slaves away and he talked about beauty, love, wisdom. I was beautiful, he was wise and loved me, so I pwetended to be dwunker than I was. I undwessed and thwew my wobe over both of us. ( histrionically ) “Do what you like with me!” ( matter of factly ) You know the sort of thing. But he went on talking about beauty, love and wisdom until I fell asleep. When I woke next morning I might have been sleeping with my father. Yet he loved me, I knew that.

SOCRATES: ( who has become cheerful while listening ) I still do, Alcibiades!

ALCIBIADES: ( still ignoring him ) Doesn’t help.

ANYTUS: Did he corrupt you in another way?

ALCIBIADES: ( too quickly ) Not intentionally.

ANYTUS: Explain that.

ALCIBIADES: ( after frowning thoughtfully then smiling suddenly ) No.

PRESIDENT: Explain it, Alcibiades! That’s a court order.

Alcibiades, chuckles, shakes head. Socrates raises a hand.