Ivy Compton-Burnett - The Mighty and Their Fall

“Not if I could not recognise you. Now I shall be able to.”

“You will see me as I am. I am always seen in that way. I have had to get used to it. I am grateful to you for trying to see me differently. I have had something in my life. It is more than I expected.”

“We do usually have less. But many of us expect too much. We hardly like to remember what it was.”

“What is the best thing to have?” said Egbert. “We are told it is not wealth and ease. I suppose for fear we should think it was. It is sad how we understand it.”

“Anyone who does not, is without understanding,” said Selina. “I don’t mean that I should choose it.”

“You would not dare to mean it,” said Hugo. “I almost believe I should. The best thing about wealth is that it is never shared.”

“It ought to be,” said Lavinia.

“That almost seems to make it better.”

“The good thing about it is the power to share it.”

“But a better one is that the power is not used.”

“I suppose it is not. It is a hard thing to explain.”

“I hardly think it is,” said Ninian. “Wealth is the thing that can be shared. We cannot share looks or gifts or charm. I daresay we should not, if we could. If we had them, I mean.”

“Oh, of course you mean that, Father,” said Lavinia, laughing.

“None of us likes to be copied,” said Egbert. “And I suppose that is trying to share.”

“Trying to steal,” said his grandmother.

“I have always known they were the same,” said Hugo.

“We have not settled on the best thing in life,” said Lavinia.

“Human friendship?” said Egbert.

“But it is sometimes shared,” said Hugo.

“And it is uncertain,” said Teresa. “We want something we cannot lose.”

“A clear conscience?” said Ninian.

“We can surely lose that,” said Lavinia, continuing at once. “Not that many of us do in any real sense.”

“I should have thought we all did,” said Hugo. “Perhaps that shows it is the best. We should naturally lose that.”

“Real achievement?” said Selina.

“But we don’t know a case of it,” said Lavinia. “So we can’t ask if it is the best. And anyhow no one would dare to answer.”

“It depends what kind of achievement you mean,” said Teresa.

“Not service to humanity,” said Hugo. “No one could feel that the best.”

“Some people might,” said Lavinia. “Those who could give it.”

“People with religion,” said Egbert. “Who feel they will be rewarded in the end.”

“That might be a good thing,” said Hugo. “But from what is said of it, I hardly think the best.”

“Real achievement would be independent of reward,” said Ninian. “The reward would be in itself.”

“I knew there was some drawback,” said Hugo. “Fancy having to provide the reward as well as earn it!”

“It is said that effort is its own reward,” said Lavinia. “Perhaps that is why it often has no other.”

“What should we really choose?” said Ninian. “We have not said.”

“An affection that would last,” said Teresa; “in ourselves as well as in someone else; that would be a basis for our lives.”

“That would be my choice,” said Lavinia.

“Well, may you both have it,” said Selina, in benevolence. “Try to give it to each other.”

“It could hardly be done under instruction.” said Ninian.

“Affection often lasts,” said Hugo. “We don’t often have the interest of seeing people lose it. It would always last in me, if they asked it of me. But they might almost think I had none to give.”

“Perhaps they might quite think so,” said Teresa, in a low tone, with a smile.

“So you can say such a thing to me. I could not to you. I somehow feel I am returning good for evil.”

“Does anyone ever do that?” said Selina.

“Not you, Grandma, if you can’t believe in it,” said Lavinia. “And it is hard to see why anyone should. It may be a sign of weakness.”

“It must be,” said Egbert. “No one could want to do it.”

“People might do it out of their strength,” said Teresa.

“I will not imagine them,” said Hugo. “I should not dare.”

“We might do it for our credit or self-esteem,” said Ninian. “Perhaps that should hardly count.”

“We should feel the last,” said Egbert. “I don’t see how it could be avoided.”

“What other reasons are there?” said Hugo. “I cannot think of any.”

“It is not as plain as you all think,” said Lavinia.

“Why, have you personal knowledge or experience?” said Ninian.

“You should not ask dreadful questions,” said Hugo. “You deserve to have a dreadful answer.”

“He will not have one,” said Lavinia. “It would not do for us to meet our deserts.”

“So he has had one,” said Selina, almost to herself.

“Are we talking of actual evil?” said Ninian, as if he had not heard. “Or of natural effort for our own welfare?”

“Oh, that is almost too evil to speak about,” said Hugo. “Some subjects should be forbidden.”

“Well, are we to talk about ourselves and each other? Is that a better or safer thing? People might take the chance to speak the truth.”

“Only terrible people. But of course that is nearly everyone.”

“Is our choice of subjects so small?” said Egbert.

“Well, it is for me,” said Hugo. “I only like the personal ones. And no one really seems to introduce any others.”

“Then would you like to speak the truth about people?”

“Yes, if I were not afraid to. But I think it is a wholesome fear.”

“Why should the truth be against them?” said Lavinia.

“We meant the truth that is spoken about them. That deals with what they think is hidden. And it ought to be hidden no doubt. They are the ones to judge.”

“Is it often spoken?” said Teresa. “I suppose when it is forced out of people.”

“It is terrible how little force is needed. Our self-knowledge takes us such a long way.”’

“I don’t think I have learned much from mine,” said Lavinia.

“It can teach us all a good deal,” said her father.

“It might lead us to judge other people by ourselves. And that might make us too gullible.”

“That suggests that we are better than they are. And of some of us it may be true.”

“It is,” said Teresa, looking at Lavinia. “And it is not their fault if they know it.”

“My sister understands about the hidden things,” said Egbert, “though she herself may not have them.”

“They would not remain hidden,” said Lavinia, laughing. “In my case they would emerge.”

“They would not in mine,” said Hugo. “They are far too securely hidden. I hardly dare to recognise them myself. I might betray them.”

“I know all about mine. And I fear so do you all. I have not the gift of hiding them.”

“Fancy not having to cultivate it! I thought that became our second nature. I did not know we ever showed our first one.”

“You are patient with my family,” said Ninian to his wife. “They love words for their own sake.”

“So do I, when they come from them. But they must not expect them from me. I cannot emulate them.”

“You will not try. To emulate may be to copy. That is not for you.”

“No, people have to take me as I am.”

“As you really are?” said Hugo. “I have only met your case and Lavinia’s. There should be a bond between you.”

“Perhaps there will be,” said Lavinia.

“Not too strong,” said Ninian, looking at her. “You both belong to me. That is where the bond lies.”

“Fancy daring to ask so much for yourself!” said Hugo.