Lance Olsen - Calendar of Regrets

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Hello?

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Hello?

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Testing… one… two… three.

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Testing.

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Okay, it looks like we're ready to go here.

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This is Doctor Park Dietz. Today's date is Monday, May 22, 1995. The time is, uh, the time is 9:51 a.m. This will be a taped conversation with the last name of Tager, T-A-G-E-R, first of William, W-I–L-L–I-A-M. Date of birth: November 9, 1947.

WT. That is incorrect.

WT. Okay, Bill. We'll get to that in a sec. What I've done here is I've turned on the recorder so I can tape our conversation because, you know, I'm not the best note taker in the world. This morning I'd like to return to some things we were talking about last fall, if that's all right with you.

WT. Fine.

PD. Okay, uh… Can you speak up just a little bit? I'm…

WT. Sure.

PD. Good. That's good. Okay. So I want to go back to the conversations we were having about October 4, 1986. You were on, what was it, 86 thStreet, right? At a little before 11:00 p.m.?

WT. That is correct.

PD. And you were, you know, you saw somebody. A man you recognized.

WT. We already did this part.

PD. I apologize, Bill. I'm not the, you know, the sharpest tool in the shed. I just want to understand what happened. So, okay, you saw this man you recognized, right?

WT. Yes.

PD. And you said you thought he was…?

WT. I didn't think. I knew. Everybody knows.

PD. Why don't you go ahead and tell me — just for the record.

WT. Burrows. Kenneth Burrows.

PD. And what did you do when you saw the man you thought was Kenneth Burrows?

WT. I needed to get the code.

PD. And how did you go about doing that?

WT. I followed him.

PD. Where did he go?

WT. He went into this pizza parlor.

PD. And what happened?

WT. He ordered a slice of pepperoni. A slice of pepperoni and a Coke. I ordered a slice, too. Cheese. I didn't order anything to drink because I wasn't thirsty. He sat at the window.

PD. And where did you sit?

WT. I sat in the back.

PD. To watch him?

WT. To keep him under surveillance. Yes. Only I pretended not to because his brainwaves were arriving and everything.

PD. What do you mean when you say: His brainwaves were arriving and everything ?

WT. They were coming in at me.

PD. What did it feel like to you?

WT. It felt like tinfoil sparkling inside my head.

PD. And how long would you, uh, how long would you estimate you remained in the pizza parlor?

WT. I don't know.

PD. You waited until he was done.

WT. Yes.

PD. Maybe ten minutes? Twenty?

WT. Something like that.

PD. What sort of thoughts were you having at the time?

WT. None.

PD. Your mind was blank?

WT. I was observing.

PD. What did this man you recognized… what did he do next?

WT. He got up. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, chucked everything into the trashcan by the door. Then he said thanks to the guys behind the counter and left. I followed.

PD. Was the pizza parlor crowded at that time of night?

WT. There was maybe another couple of people.

PD. Had you thought in any way at that point that you might want to hurt him?

WT. The Vice President?

PD. Had you pictured it?

WT. Why would anyone picture hurting the V. P.?

PD. Then tell me what was going through your head. Explain what you were thinking to me.

WT. I was thinking about asking him for the code. That was pretty much it. He was walking fast. I had to jog to catch up with him. It seemed like the faster I went, the faster he went.

PD. That's when things began changing for you?

WT. He knew I was coming. He should've stopped.

PD. How did he know you were coming?

WT. He's the Vice President.

PD. So what did you do when he didn't stop for you?

WT. Can I get a cup of coffee now?

PD. Coffee?

WT. Yes. A cup of coffee.

PD. Sure, Bill. Just a minute. Let me see what I can do. Cream and sugar?

WT. Two percent. I'm trying to watch my weight.

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Okay, hang on here.

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Testing. Test…

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One… two… three. One… two…

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That better, Bill?

WT. Yes.

PD. Coffee's okay?

WT. The coffee's fine.

PD. Good. So… let's see. You were telling me about what happened when the man you believed to be Kenneth Burrows wouldn't, uh, wouldn't stop for you after you left the, you know, the pizza parlor on 86 th.

WT. My head felt bad.

PD. What happened after that?

WT. My fist thought of a way out.

PD. What do you mean when you say: My fist thought of a way out ?

WT. My right fist.

PD. What did it do?

WT. It punched him in the jaw. Just below the left ear. Hard. He went right down. Then my feet did stuff. My mouth did stuff and my feet did stuff.

PD. How was that a way out?

WT. For him?

PD. Yes.

WT. I figured my fist would make him give me the frequency and then he would be safe.

PD. Did you say anything?

WT. I asked him for it.

PD. For the code?

WT. Only he just started lying to me. Lying and lying, the liar.

PD. What did he lie about?

WT. Everything.

PD. What would an example be of one of his lies?

WT. We already did this.

PD. I know, Bill. Please bear with me.

WT. He said I had the wrong guy.

PD. But you believed you had the right guy.

WT. He offered me stuff. A stupid watch. A stupid ring.

PD. But you believed he was Burrows. Why do you suppose he wouldn't give you the frequency? You had him on the ground. Why wouldn't he just tell you?

WT. I told him I was going back home no matter what. He couldn't stop me.

PD. What did he say?

WT. I knew the messages would start again any second. I knew I didn't have much time.

PD. The messages are different from the brainwaves?

WT. The messages are always the same. The brainwaves are tinfoil sparkling inside my head.

PD. The messages come approximately every twenty minutes? Is that correct?

WT. They come precisely every twenty minutes.

PD. And they interrupted you while you were assaulting the man you took to be Kenneth Burrows?

WT. They fucked me all up.

PD. Why aren't they coming now, Bill… the messages? While we're, you know, while we're having this conversation.

WT. They are.

PD. Doesn't that make it difficult for you to think?

WT. That is correct.

PD. And they made it difficult for you to think while you were assaulting the man on the sidewalk…

WT. That's when he made his break. I couldn't move. Sometimes they make it so you can't move.

PD. What did you do?

WT. I tried to catch him.

PD. But you couldn't.

WT. That's why I'm here.

PD. That's why you're in New York?

WT. On this planet.

PD. On this planet?

WT. That is correct.

PD. You mean you feel you're stranded.

WT. Tell me how I can leave. Go ahead. Tell me.

PD. Believing that must make you feel lonely.