Christopher WunderLee - Moore's Mythopoeia

Vincent departs before the director responds, knowing that he has nothing more and would continue only for the sake of it, as the director has the right to do, he nods in such a way that communicates his subordination (a trick of plagiarized body language he’s picked up that causes the person it’s directed towards to feel as though they themselves waved him away).

* * *

“Are you ready? Okay then, sit down beside me. Ready? A long time ago, in a land not far from where you are now, there was a mighty king. Do you know what a king is? Sort of like a president. This mighty king was called Midas and he was sad. For the citizens of his kingdom, do you know what that is? Like a state. For the citizens of his kingdom were not happy and he did not know how to please them.

“King Midas sat on a giant tower and looked down upon his lands. See him up there? He sat for days and days, trying to think of a way to make his people happy. But nothing came to mind. Midas could not solve the problem and so, he sent for an ancient wizard named Merlin. Merlin lived in the city of the dragons, who were not at all mean or angry. They were nice to the old wizard because he made them pies and cakes. See him making the pies and cakes?

“When Merlin arrived at the castle, that’s a castle, he saw how sad the king was and offered him his best blue-berry pie. King Midas ate the pie but it did not help him. He asked the great, old wizard: ‘how can I make the people happy?’ And Merlin, who was truly wise, whispered the answer into the king’s ear. Not even the queen or prince heard. Midas was pleased.

“The next day, after Merlin had gone back to the city of the dragons, King Midas sent barons out with instructions to find a valley circled by mountains. Barons are like senators. After two months of searching, a baron named Mithra returned with the news that he’d found a valley that was encircled on three sides with mountains that reached beyond the clouds. King Midas was happy with this and he put Baron Mithra in charge of his plan.

“Baron Mithra rode his horse back to the valley with one thousand men. They began to build a giant wall around the valley so that it was enclosed. See them, they’re building a wall so that the valley doesn’t have an opening. After a year of building, the castle was complete. Baron Mithra went to King Midas and told him the good news.

“Within the valley, King Midas built a giant garden and in this garden he put all sorts of animals. But he did not put any mean animals. Only deer, raccoons, squirrels, giraffe, zebra, horses, antelopes, gazelles, elephants, cats, dogs, fish, and singing birds. The garden flourished in the valley and King Midas often wandered its grounds in harmony.

“During a festival for dads and moms, when everyone in the king’s lands were dancing, King Midas sent his soldiers to their homes. Their children were sleeping in their beds. The soldiers took the youngest child from every home. See them putting the kids in carriages. None of the children woke up because the wizard Merlin had cast a spell over them. King Midas had the children taken to his garden in the walled valley.

“When the children woke up, they were in the garden. At first, some of them cried. But the peaceful garden won them over and soon they began to wander through its forest. They picked fruit from the trees, patted deer on the head, played with dogs and held kitty cats on their laps. They were happy, they had forgotten their parents and the village they came from. See them smiling.

“Every week, King Midas stood on the wall of the valley and talked to the children. He told them that they were his children and that he was their father. They loved him. He told them that there was nothing else in the world except the garden and that they would be safe as long as they stayed there. They loved their home. King Midas looked down upon his new kingdom and he was happy. He was happy because his people were happy.

“After awhile, the children grew into young boys and girls. They played in the valley and loved their father. They often saw him walking on the wall of the castle. King Midas loved to watch his children playing in his garden. The children rode horses, played games, fished in the river, plucked ripe fruit from the trees, and slept under the stars. They had long ago forgotten their names and their families.

“When the children grew into adults, they had children of their own in the garden. They told the babies about their father, whom they called Böhme, and how he had made the garden for them. They told their children that there was nothing outside of the valley and that they were the only people. King Midas had taught them this when they were very young. The children learned to love their grandfather, who they called Papa Böhme.

“After many years, the children grew up too, and they had babies. By this time, King Midas was very old. He was tired and could only sit in a tower and watch his people. One night, angels carried King Midas away. See the angels carrying away the king? Isn’t this a nice story?

“Well, after King Midas went away, the people in the valley no longer saw him anymore. They asked for him to come, but he never did. They told their children about their father and grandfather and great grandfather, so that every child knew who had provided them with their home. After many years, the first children of the garden, who were now grandparents and some even great grandparents, were taken away by a flock of angels. Where they went, no one knew. But they believed they’d climbed the tower and were staying with Papa Böhme. They all wished to one-day stay with him, too.”

* * *

“All right, everyone, hold it right there. This is a robbery,” a man yelled as he paid the bus driver his fare and boarded the bus with three other people in a very Shawian posture. “Nobody moves and nobody gets hurt.”

The group was wearing Halloween masks and dark clothes, there was a hobgoblin, a wolf from a fairy tale, a friendly ghost, and Frankenstein. They rushed onto the bus and started ordering people around. The speaker, the wolf, had a machine of some sort strapped to his chest.

“You see this machine of some sort strapped to my chest? It’s a cold fusion bomb, anybody does something funny and I’ll push this button and we’ll all die. Are you ready to die for your socks and shoes?”

The passengers of the bus that morning, which was a Tuesday of all things, had never been in a robbery, they were not quite sure whether they were ready to die for their socks and shoes.

“Now, unless you want me to turn you into stardust, you’ll start removing your footwear. They’re coming with us.”

“We are the Dystopian Liberation Front (aside) and Worldwide Floral Syndicate,” the friendly ghost yelled. “Don’t mess with us. We’ve come for your shoes and socks. I just hope they’re clean,” he threatened.

The passenger’s of bus 5643 quickly removed their shoes and socks, and held them out as Frankenstein and the hobgoblin walked down the aisle. They gathered the items and signaled to the wolf that they were ready.

“All right, good job. A few more moments and you’ll have a story to tell at the next dinner party. Everybody’ll live and we’ll have gotten what we want.”

“What do you want?” a woman weeping blurted out Kafkaly as she sat rocking in her seat. “Why are you taking our shoes and socks?”

“Because you’ll not have them afterwards and you’ll have to walk the streets in your bare feet. Understand? Get those women’s stockings too, Frank,” the wolf ordered, pacing back and forth at the front of the bus. And Frankenstein and the hobgoblin stood menacingly over the women who had not forfeited their stockings.

“Give ‘em up, bitch,” the hobgoblin demanded. The women stripped them off of their legs and handed them to the robbers. “Got ‘em.”