Russell Banks - A Permanent Member of the Family

The six-lane Northway is puddled with salted snowmelt and slush. In Keeseville, still ten miles from home, he exits from the turnpike on the wide, sweeping off-ramp to Route 9N. Keeseville is where his two younger sons and their families live and is not so damned far from Au Sable Forks that they couldn’t drop by to visit once a month if they wanted to, he thinks, and in order to power the truck through the curve, Connie guns it. The quarter ton of bagged gravel in the truck bed has shifted the weight of the vehicle from the front tires to the rear, and the centrifugal pull of the turn causes the rear tires to lose their grip on the pavement and slip sideways to the left. Connie automatically flips the steering wheel to the left, the direction of the slide, but the rear end whipsaws back to the right, putting the truck into a slow 180-degree spin, back to front, until he’s facing the way he’s come and the truck is sliding sideways and downhill toward the off-ramp guardrail at about forty miles an hour.

IT’S ONLY A CONCUSSION and a busted collarbone, Jack explains to his father. But the collarbone broke in two places and as a result is in three separate pieces. “They called in one of the sports docs from Lake Placid, guy who works on ski accidents all the time. He operated and put pins in it, but given your age and bone loss, he doesn’t think the pins’ll hold if you get hit in that area again. He said you’ll have to protect your right side like it’s made of glass.”

“How long was I out?” Connie asks. He’s just realized that Chip and Buzz are in the room, standing somewhere behind Jack. He’s woozy and confused about where he is exactly, although he can tell it’s a hospital room. He’s in a bed with an IV stuck in his arm and an empty bed next to his and a chair in the corner and a window with the curtain pulled back. It’s dark outside.

“You were out when I got to the truck, which was no more than ten minutes after the accident, I’d guess. A citizen with a cell phone in a car right behind you saw the truck go over and called 911. I happened to be driving north on 87 just below the exit. You came to in the ambulance, but they knocked you out when you went in for surgery. You don’t remember the ambulance and all that?”

“Last thing I remember is the truck going into a slide. Hello, boys,” he says to Chip and Buzz. “Sorry to bring you out like this.” They look worried, brows furrowed, unsmiling, both in uniform, Buzz in his Dannemora prison guard’s uniform and Chip in his Plattsburgh police officer blues. All three of his sons wear uniforms well. He likes that. “Hope you didn’t have to leave work for this.”

Chip says that he was on duty, but since that had him here in Plattsburgh, it was no big deal to come right over to the hospital, and Buzz says that he was just getting home when Jack called, so it was no big deal for him, either, to drive back to Plattsburgh. “Edie sends her love,” Buzz adds.

“Yeah, Joan sends love, too, Dad,” Chip says.

Connie asks about his truck. He has just remembered the gym bag.

Jack says, “Totaled. Northway Sunoco came over and towed it out. You really put it all the way off the ramp and into the woods. Thicket of small birches stopped you. Good thing it wasn’t a full-grown tree or you’d have gone through the windshield. You weren’t wearing a seat belt. Where were you coming from?”

“Plattsburgh. The movies at Champlain mall. I wanted to see that movie about Abraham Lincoln everybody’s talking about.”

All four men are silent for a moment, as if each is lost in his own thoughts. Finally Chip says, “Dad, we’ve got to ask you a couple of tough questions.” Jack and Buzz nod in agreement.

Connie’s heart is racing. He knows what’s coming.

Chip says, “It’s about the money in the bag.”

“What bag?”

Jack says, “The EMT guys gave me the bag, Dad, the gym bag, when they pulled you out of the truck. I didn’t open it till after you were in surgery. I wasn’t prying. I opened it in case there was a bottle in it that might’ve broke or something. Although I don’t think you were drinking,” he adds.

“No, I wasn’t! Not a drop all day! It was the snow and ice on the road that did it.”

Chip says, “We need to know where you got the money, Dad. There’s a lot of it. Thousands of dollars.”

Buzz says, “And we need to know why you were carrying your forty-five.”

“It’s not illegal,” Connie says to him. “Not yet, anyhow.”

Jack says, “But the gun and the money, they’re connected, aren’t they, Dad? I’ve been putting two and two together, you know. Connecting the dots, like they say. For instance, wondering where you got the money for those hearing aids that Medicaid wouldn’t pay for.”

“I’m doing okay money-wise. I had some savings, you know.”

Buzz says, “I know what goes on inside prison, Dad. It’s worse than anything you can imagine. I don’t want you there. But you’re looking at hard time. Armed robbery. You’ll be there the rest of your goddam life. What the Christ were you thinking?”

Of the three Buzz is the only one who looks sad. Jack’s face and Chip’s show no emotion, not even curiosity, but that’s because they’re trained police officers. Connie says, “I don’t know what you guys are talking about.”

Buzz says, “Dad, what the hell do you want us to do? What do you think we should do? What’s the right thing here, Dad?”

“You don’t have to do anything. As an American citizen I can carry my service pistol if I want, and I can carry my money around in cash in a goddam gym bag if I want. Who can trust the goddam banks these days anyhow?”

Jack says, “It’s not your money! It belongs to the Adirondack Bank branch in Lake Placid that was robbed this morning. Robbed by a guy in a ski mask and a Carhartt jacket with a gym bag that had a note in it that said, ‘Fill with cash, owner armed.’ The note’s still in the bottom of the bag, Dad. Under the money. I checked.”

“You checked? So you were snooping? Invading my privacy?”

Buzz says, “Jesus Christ, Dad, make sense! There’s two of us standing here who can arrest you! Is that what you want? To be arrested by your own sons? And make the third your prison guard?”

Connie looks across the room at the window and through the glass into the darkness beyond. He wonders if it’s late at night or very early in the morning. He says, “Sounds funny when you put it that way. Like I wanted it to happen.”

But it’s not what he wanted to happen. When his sons were little boys and their mother abandoned them all so she could go off to live with an artist in a hippie commune in New Mexico, Connie held it together with discipline and devotion to duty. All by himself, he held the fort and took perfect fatherly care of his sons. And after they graduated high school he paid for Jack to go to college at Paul Smith’s and for Buzz at Plattsburgh State for those two years when he wanted to be a radiologist. He paid for Chip’s Hawaiian honeymoon with Joan. He even took care of them when they were in their early thirties by taking out a second mortgage and home equity loan, borrowing against his trailer and the land in Elizabethtown he inherited from his father, so his sons could buy their first houses. He wanted to take impeccable care of his sons, and he did. And after the boys grew up and no longer needed him to take care of them, he planned on continuing to hold the family together by being able to take impeccable care of himself. That was the long-range plan. They would still be a family, the four of them, and he would still be the father, the head of the household, because you’re never an ex-father, any more than you’re an ex-Marine.

But the way things turned out, he can’t take care of himself. How can he explain this to his sons without them thinking he’s pathetic and weak and stupid? First the real estate market tanked, and neither the trailer nor the land his father left him was worth as much as he owed on them, so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t sell the properties for enough to pay off the loans and move into a government-subsidized room or studio apartment in town. Who’d buy his trailer and land anyhow? He’d still owe the banks tens of thousands of dollars and would have to go on making the monthly payments. Then he lost his job at Ray’s Auction House. Without it he could no longer make the payments to the banks, and when he missed two consecutive months, the banks’ lawyers threatened to seize his trailer and the land. He was about to become an ex-father.