Джей Крауновер - Built

I shrieked in surprise when the comforter was yanked off of me and blinked up at Zeb where he stood at the end of the bed staring down at me with a lecherous look on his face.

“Don’t stop on my account. You know how much I like to watch you get yourself off.” He kicked out of his jeans as I stiffened up.

“Hyde?”

“Is out like a light. I didn’t even get halfway into the book. He’s settling. He just needs some time.” A smile flashed in his beard. “If you aren’t going to finish for me, then I’m going to do it for you.”

I shouted his name as he caught my ankle and pulled me toward the end of the bed across the sinfully expensive sheets. Before I could protest he had my legs spread wide and his face buried between my quivering thighs. His tongue was on my clit and his facial hair was brushing enticingly against my inner thighs. I couldn’t breathe.

That orgasm that I had to chase down on my own was back to being right front and center and he worked me over with his mouth and his fingers. I shattered on a deep moan and spilled all across his tongue as he refused to let up on me. He pulled away so he could kiss my belly button and then crawled up and over me so that he could seat himself inside my satiated body.

I wanted to tell him that after that orgasm there was nothing left for me to give him, but like always, I found more because it was him and he was worth everything.

I curled my legs around him and he knelt between my legs and started to work into me with slow shallow thrusts. We watched each other intently as he built the pleasure back up, as he worked the desire like it was a living thing until I was writhing under him again and my body was begging his for release.

He stretched out over me so he could move fast and hard, and before I knew it we were coming together and holding on to each other while we waited for the world to stop spinning.

His face was buried in the side of my neck as I stroked my palms over his painted and toned shoulders.

“Hyde asked me if you would mind if he started calling you his mom.”

The words were soft and maybe the most important ones I had ever heard. They were so much more powerful than the ones my father had spewed.

I cleared my throat and hugged his massive frame with my entire body. “What did you tell him?”

He laughed softly in my ear and moved his chin so that his beard tickled my neck.

“I bet him a hundred bucks that when he asked you it would make you cry.” I wasn’t the only one who knew how to hedge a bet so that the adorable five-year-old would walk away with some cash.

I tunneled my fingers into his hair and held him as close as I could. “You’re gonna owe him a hundred bucks.”

“I figured as much. Hey, Say?”

“Hey, Zeb?” I rubbed my cheek against his and snuggled farther into him. I wanted to stay under him, connected to him like this forever.

“My kid wants you to be his mom, and if there are any more kids in the future I want them to be with you, so you should probably marry me.”

I stiffened under him and took a handful of his hair so I could jerk his head up and force him to look at me.

“Did you just tell me to marry you?”

“Uh . . . yeah. I mean I did just get you off twice in a spectacular fashion, so I figured it would make it harder to say no.” His eyes twinkled at me and he leaned forward and put his mouth on mine. “I gave you the house. You’ve had Hyde’s heart and mine since the very beginning. You know we’ll make beautiful babies and that you’ll be the best mom in the world. Let me give you a ring, Sayer. I’ll make sure it’s classic and colorful. I’ll make sure it’s strong and beautiful. I’ll find a ring that glows from the inside like you do.” He wiggled his dark eyebrows up and down at me. “And when I find it I’ll get on a knee and ask you the right way, but say yes, Sayer. You can be all the other wonderful things you already are, but you can add mom and wife to the list.”

I blinked up at him and, of course, there was only one answer to choose. “Yes, Zeb, I’ll marry you. And I don’t need you to get on one knee because this way is perfect for me.”

This was the way the man I chose to spend forever with asked me to be his.

Nothing could be better than that.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

I know from past experience that it’s risky to write a heroine who isn’t all warm and fuzzy, a heroine afraid to love when the hero is RIGHT THERE and so amazing and offering everything, but, my friends, it has to be done! Not just because I so strongly feel all types of women deserve a voice in my books, but because there are women out there who need to know they are not alone. There is nothing wrong with not being the warm and fuzzy sort. ☺ Frankly I am not often the warm and fuzzy sort.

Sayer is so important, her past and the woman she forces herself to be is a startling reminder that abuse can take so many more forms than physical and all abuse leaves its mark and its impact on those who suffer from it.

Writing Sayer for me was an immensely personal endeavor because there was a time in my life when I watched someone I cared a lot about change into a different person in a shockingly short amount of time at the hands of a skilled emotional abuser. I had no clue how to stop it or how to help, so I also understand Zeb’s frustration with the situation on a deep level. (The person I knew worked very hard to heal, and made great strides, but the change, the struggle, was too much and we are no longer in touch even though she won her battle much like Sayer does in this story.)

I watched this person completely shut down, disappear, and become so remote it was like she was trapped inside herself with no hope of getting out. It killed me to see the suffering, and it hurt even more when the things she was going through were brushed off because no one could see the cause of that change.

All forms of abuse are horrific and terrible, but patience, love, and understanding go a long way toward helping a survivor heal.

I’m not an expert or an advocate, but I am someone who cares a lot about people . . . all people. So I’ll leave these numbers here, and if you know someone who could use them or if you can use them yourself, please do:

National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

If you are looking for a place to start: thehotline.org

SAYER AND ZEB’S PLAYLIST

This playlist is a little bluesy, a little twangy, a little rough, and a whole lot stripped down. Kind of like Sayer and Zeb when they start to fall in love. The entire list is composed of singer/songwriters, artists who take music down to the core of what it is and then build it up into something amazing. It’s so very beautiful to me and every single song has a story to tell.

(Minus “Pour Some Sugar on Me” . . . but come on! That song is great regardless of whether it was arena metal or not!)

Shovels & Rope: “Bridge on Fire”/“Pinned”

Dawes: “Waiting for Your Call”

Heartless Bastards: “Could Be So Happy”

Ha Ha Tonka: “The Past Has Arms”/“Lessons”

Whiskeytown: “Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight”

The Damn Quails: “Through the Fire”

The Black Lilies: “Cruel”

Turnpike Troubadours: “Diamonds & Gasoline”

The Dirty River Boys: “Looking for the Heart You Took from Me”

The Head and the Heart: “Shake”

Lincoln Durham: “Beautifully Sewn, Violently Torn”

Cory Branan: “All the Rivers in Colorado”

Folk Soul Revival: “Bent”

Chris Knight: “The Hammer Going Down”

Delta Rae: “Scared”/“If I Loved You”