Jane Cook - Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan

Upon my husband’s return we PCS’d (permanent change of station), I carried residual hurt and anger. Many nights I would lie awake and ask God, “What do I do with this?” and “Where do I go from here?”

As time passed I heard other military wives share their stories of hurt and disappointment because of the lack of support from their churches. I realized that our churches and others who loved us do not intentionally forsake their support they just don’t understand our struggles. To create an awareness of the challenges of the military home front, the website Operation We Are Here was born. This became a site to offer practical suggestions, support, and encouragement.

Over time, God removed my hurts and redeemed a very painful year for His glory. I was committed to honor him despite my circumstances. I learned by experience that people (even those who love us) will disappoint us and that our circumstances hold no guarantees. But importantly, I was reminded that God will not abandon me. He is good, and I continue to put my hope and my trust in Him.

Father, when life is tough and just doesn’t make sense, help me to take my eyes off of myself and lift my gaze to You, for only You can satisfy.

“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup, and have made my lot secure.” (Psalm 16:5)

No one ever told Sonja Mannarino that deployment would be easy. But no one told her it would be this hard, either.

Her daughter was fifteen and her sons were eleven and four years old when her husband of sixteen years deployed. While Jason encountered enemy fire in Iraq, Sonja felt like the home front was under attack as well. Her four-year-old son cried for days after saying goodbye to his daddy, especially at night because Jason always tucked him into bed. Her eleven-year-old son went through depression and gained a lot of weight, eating to fill the void where his dad had been.

“It was hard for him. He was Dad’s helper working on cars or in the yard together,” said Sonja. “He had a lot of anger too and took it out on me verbally. I had to sit down with him and say, ‘What you’re doing is not right.’ It tore my heart out because there was nothing I could do.”

Every day Sonja put on a brave face and tried to be strong for the children. But every night, after the kids were in bed, she was the one crying to her Heavenly Father for comfort. “At night, I felt alone,” she said. “I was trying to smile for my kids, but the pain was still there with Jason being gone. As time went on, things got easier but it was still hard, especially on certain days like Father’s Day, Christmas, and the first day of school.”

The Bible is full of heroes who faced fear even as they took the path God had set before them. Joshua had to be told four times in Joshua 1 to “be strong and courageous.” In the psalms, David cries out to God many times in fear for his life. Queen Esther feared for her safety as well. Following God’s will doesn’t mean we will not fear, but it does mean that God will walk beside us every step of the way.

Lord, turn my fear into confidence in your power, not mine.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you….” (Isaiah 43:1b–2a)

As Sonja held down the fort, she quickly saw the need to go on the offensive against spirits of fear, worry, resentment, anger, and bitterness. Instead of waiting for discouragement to invade and occupy her home, she countered this obstacle at every turn by wielding the Sword of Truth: God’s Word.

Her tactic was simple: she printed Scripture verses off from her computer and stuck them all around her house with Scotch tape so God’s Word would constantly be before her eyes and the eyes of her children.

Taped next to her bathroom mirror: Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might (Psalm 21:13).

Taped inside her kitchen cupboard: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me (Psalm 23:4).

Taped above her dresser: He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord (Psalm 112:7).

Taped in her living room: But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds (Psalm 73:28).

The result was powerful. Instead of dwelling on the unknown of the future, Sonja chose to dwell on what she did know that God is good, and he’s in control. Even after Jason returned from deployment the following year, Sonja left those verses hanging around her home.

“Without God, I couldn’t have made it,” she said. “I needed comfort and peace, and he gave it to me. That is just amazing. Jason and I prayed with each other through email. We would speak to each other about God and Scriptures to lift our spirits. God’s presence was really strong.”

Sonja was able to ward off attacks from the Enemy by claiming God’s truths. Meditating on Scripture cleared her mind and heart of the swirling negative thoughts that threatened to consume her. You can do the same.

Lord, give me the discipline I need to study and memorize your Word.

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

When SFC Mannarino was stationed in Taji, Iraq, he could count on one thing he would be fired upon every day.

“I didn’t know if I’d live another five minutes let alone make it through the deployment,” he said. “We got shot at, mortared, attacked constantly. It was a daily occurrence, two to four times a day. I wasn’t in a great place.”

One day, an 82mm mortar landed five feet from Mannarino in the spot where he had been standing a moment earlier and blew up in the air. “Mortars are designed to blow out, but it blew up, away from me,” he said. “I felt the Holy Spirit protecting me.”

Another day, two of his soldiers were hit with mortars and needed to be flown to Germany for medical care. Mannarino also witnessed an Iraqi security guard across the street get his face blown off from sniper fire.

These are experiences he didn’t write home about to Sonja and the kids. In fact, he didn’t even have time to process the danger and loss of life surrounding him on a regular basis. He knew his life was at risk, but he also knew God was watching out for him. Mannarino read Psalm 91 daily and left his Bible open to it even when he was not in his room.

“I became very desensitized, but now that I’m home, it does catch up to me,” he said. “I’ve been back for two years. I still have moments where I’ll talk to guys about Iraq, and I’ll have to quit because it really brings back a flood of emotion that I never dealt with.”

Soldiers like Mannarino may not come home with visible injuries, but their spirits might need some healing after what they’ve experienced. Jesus, the Great Physician, has the power to heal not only our bodies but our minds, hearts and spirits as well.

Lord, heal my troubled spirit and renew my soul again.

“Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.” (Psalm 90:14–15)