Jane Cook - Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan

God answered.

The day of the funeral, April 14, was a beautiful day, and everyone arrived safely, including family, friends, 198 patriot guards, and emergency vehicles from five counties who participated to pay tribute to Mike’s service. The protesters came, saw how many supporters there were, and decided to go home.

“God tested my faith with the threat of the protestors, but ended up providing,” Kerri said. “I could have gotten ugly and argued about it on the Internet, but God took care of it in his own way.”

When Kerri, Tanner, and Haley arrived back home in Texas after the funeral, another blessing was waiting for them. As Kerri pulled the mail from the mailbox, a glimpse of familiar handwriting made her heart stop and the tears begin to fall. Stuck between bills and catalogs were two postcards addressed to Tanner and Haley, written by their dad on April 1, 2006 the day he was killed.

“On Saturday, April 1, we had been hoping for a call from Mike but didn’t get one,” said Kerri. “The kids wondered why he didn’t call. With these postcards I can show them that their Dad was thinking about them the day he died. God is so good. I just bawled when I pulled these postcards from the mail. How could someone question whether God was present?”

Lord, thank you for showering us with blessings that demonstrate your compassion for us.

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you, he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” (Isaiah 30:18)

Five months later, Mike’s good friend prepared to deploy. Kerri promised to take care of his wife if anything happened to him.

On February 2, 2007, he made the ultimate sacrifice with his life while serving in Iraq. Now it was Kerri’s turn to reach out and provide the support that she once needed; she spent two weeks with the new widow.

“I had to watch her struggle with who should be pallbearers, where she should bury him, whether she should have the funeral on post or in a church,” said Kerri. “God showed me how blessed I was to be able to know I honored Mike in the way he wanted me to.”

During the first year after Mike’s death, Kerri spoke on a monthly basis to casualty assistance officers, sharing her story of how her first casualty assistance officer mishandled her case, but her second casualty officer went above and beyond to help her. In the local community, she helps civilians learn how to help military families now that parents were being deployed every other year.

Currently, Kerri volunteers and speaks to soldiers about how to prepare families in the face of tragedy. She is also the military ministry chairperson for her church, First Baptist in Belton, Texas. She keeps track of all military families in church and checks on them to see how they’re doing and where they are in the deployment cycle. She’s coordinates Military Family Nights Out, during which the church provides dinner and child care for children so the parents can get out. She also works with Veterans Fellowships, where soldiers and veterans of all ages get together. Both ministries are open to any active duty families in the community.

“People ask me how I can still be in the military community, serving them,” says Kerri. “After fourteen years in, you can’t just leave. This is my family.”

Lord, show me where you want me to minister using the experiences and insights you’ve given me.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

In November 2006, U.S. Air Force Major Steve Harrold, then stationed in Colorado Springs, lost a good friend who was killed in an F-16 crash in Iraq. He left behind a wife and five children, two of which were sons the same ages as Harrold’s boys: seven and nine years old. Harrold felt called to do something for these boys and others like them who had lost their fathers to the war.

Partnering with Journey Chapel Pastor Eric Eaton in Monument, Colorado, a one-week camp was born in June 2007 called Modern Day Knights later named Knights of Heroes. Sixteen boys from five states came to spend time together. He paired them with a mentor so they could spend their days kayaking, rock climbing, camping, and doing other outdoor adventures. The camp pays for all expenses, including airfare for those who come and hotel stays for the moms and siblings.

The camp teaches the boys principles from the book Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis: 1) reject passivity, 2) accept responsibility, 3) lead courageously and 4) expect the greater reward. In the final camp session, Pastor Eaton rides in on a white horse dressed in knightly armor and challenges the boys to rise up to the challenge of authentic manhood. Each boy is “knighted” by Eaton’s sword and receives a special gift to take home.

First-year campers receive a family crest to emphasize the importance of carrying on their father’s legacy. Second-year campers are given a King Arthur replica dagger to hang on their wall, symbolizing that the camp is arming them for battles they’ll face as they grow. In June 2009, third-year campers were given a shield with their family crest hand-painted on it to signify that they can defend themselves against whatever life throws at them.

“We give the boys tools they can use for the rest of their life,” said Harrold. “I’ve seen their confidence increase. We challenge them in every single way physically and watch them face their fears. I’ve noticed a big change in the manner in which they accept demanding tasks. We challenge them to take responsibility for all of their decisions. And to see their faces after they accomplish something they’ didn’t think they’d be able to it’s amazing.”

Lord, guide these young men without fathers and help them find godly role models.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example…” (1 Timothy 4:12)

Major Steve Harrold, founder of Knights of Heroes, says he didn’t expect the impact his camp would have on the boys’ mothers who accompany them to camp.

“It’s the friendships they develop with other widows,” said Harrold. “To come here for a week and share their stories, talk about challenges they’re facing, and get advice, is really big. It means a lot for them to see that other people care about what they’re going through. It’s important to know they’re not alone and not forgotten.”

Nine-year-old Tanner Hartwick has attended Knights of Heroes since it began, and in September 2008, chose to write a school assignment about the experience:

I’m Not the Only One

One evening mom says, “Do you want to go play at the neighbor’s house?” My sister and I said yes! So we played at the house and then my mom asked Haley to come here. When my sister came out, she was crying so hard that she couldn’t talk to me that well. But then I went in and said, “what did you say to her?” My mom said, “Son, your dad died.” At that moment I thought I was in a dream and ran home like a cheetah! When I got home, I ran into my mom’s room and looked at a picture of my dad. I remembered the last words he said to me were I love you and I said I love you too. My mom came in and hugged me.