Jane Cook - Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan

During the Battle of Fallujah in November 2004, Captain Malugani’s lieutenant had moved through with an infantry battalion. On a day-trip into the city with her commanding officer, unexpectedly she was within walking distance to the lieutenant’s operation’s center.

“A reporter came up to me and said, ‘I want to tell you, I wouldn’t have gone through this city if it hadn’t been for your lieutenant. We were all scared to death, but his bravery convinced us to go with him.’”

The battlefield is a primal place. Everyone wants to get out alive, yet so much is beyond one’s control, such as incoming fire. News of casualties hit hard, such as the death of Sergeant Peralta who, while mortally injured, grabbed a grenade thrown by insurgents and saved the lives of the four Marines with him.

“The reporters who went in with us had to trust that we were going to take care of them. Everybody at some point has to surrender, to trust something bigger than self: the person next to them, the equipment, or God. But each individual had to learn to trust.”

“In my own life I just felt so free and surrendered. It’s like the serenity prayer: Change the things I can and accept the things I can’t. I tried to the best of my ability to change the things I could by overseeing public affairs in the very best way. Surrendering to the divine order, I’m doing my part, and the outcome is not really up to me.”

Captain Malugani found freedom in surrender. “Free in the sense of free to not free from. I was free to choose the way I was going to look at it, whether I was going to see grace, chaos, or both. I was free to be present or to shut down and suppress.”

“What I did witness out there was those who believed in a divine order and surrendered to it, had a calmness and contentment about them. Those who didn’t have a belief in a heavenly being tended to be upset. Many days I missed my family and wanted to go home; however, when I chose to put my trust in the divine order, I had the openness to process what I was seeing and experiencing.”

Thank you for the gift of brotherly love that is willing to make the greatest of sacrifices.

“If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)

“In the midst of chaos there is also tremendous grace each moment. That is what I took with me into Fallujah. Serving with RCT-7, was one of the greatest experiences in my life,” Captain Amy Malugani explained.

Malugani came home from her first Iraq deployment in March 2005. She returned for her second deployment in July 2005. “God is always preparing us for something.”

Two years earlier Malugani was sent to the Philippines for an exercise that prepared her for Iraq. “While in the Philippines, I served with an infantry battalion thirteen hundred guys and two women. I was the only female officer. I couldn’t figure out why I was selected to accompany the unit at the time, but concluded that God was preparing me for something.

“That’s something I love about the Marine Corps. Unexpected situations and circumstances challenge an officer, we grow sometimes seamlessly and sometimes unwillingly with each experience. Each incident came in a different light allowing me to experience something new or to share my knowledge with someone in need.

“During my second tour in Iraq, my Marines went out west, while I remained at the headquarters with the commanding officer. The command element anxiously watched the operations unfold, praying our battalion would come back intact. This was not the case. I was devastated to learn that we had lost nine Marines. One casualty was a fellow officer, a great man with a smile that inspired everyone,” Malugani explained, noting that her faith upheld her when her friend was killed.

Throughout her deployments, Malugani took religious education courses for confirmation in her church. Her faith proved a safe place for her to be, even allowing her to cry during the time of loss. The Marines under Malugani turned to her for strength. She wondered if they felt more comfortable to let their guard down and cry in front of her because she was a female.

When the Marines came back from operations in western Iraq, they said “Hey, Ma’am, can I see you outside?” Many opened up to her. Maybe they thought that she had it, and thus, they could talk to her. Often words weren’t spoken.

Chaos and grace coexist. “These are opportunities to see that faith is enough. I get so easily distracted; sometimes I forget that faith is enough.”

Thank you for using my past experiences for a good purpose in the future.

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:8)

It is what it is. Some laugh when I say this, some look like they are going to smack me, and some simply wonder if life can really be that simple. I say it because I need to hear it. It’s a good reminder that asking why is usually just a waste of time. The real question is how . This short little phrase is about acceptance and the precursor to action.

Recently I incorporated this little phrase back into my life. I forgot how much peace and simplicity it brought me. Perhaps it’s because I am on my way home and craving the simple life so much. Or perhaps after two combat tours in one year I have learned what’s trivial and what’s important.

Last night a friend and I discussed the book I am reading, The Great Divorce , by C. S. Lewis. The book is mostly about decisions and surrender. As the conversation progressed, it led to stories and analogies about letting go and letting God. We both kept coming back to the same point: it has to be a decision we make every day. Surrender is something that is done one day a time; the more we let go the more freedom we experience.

Towards the end of our conversation, my friend looked at me and said, “Amy, it was what it was.” The exchange was a moment of clarity for me.

What a simple phrase yet such a profound effect, well at least on this girl. Sometimes we hold onto old habits, people, places, and things because at some point in our life we needed them or so we thought to survive or succeed. However, there comes a point at which the spirit can no longer grow because there is not room for it to stretch out and expand. We have to make a decision to make room for the new; we have to make a decision to let go of the old. The simplest way to let go is to know and accept that it “was what it was” and now my life “is what it is.”

Change isn’t bad. Sometimes it’s not good but most of the time it just “is.” My hope for all of you is that you will live life one day at a time and embrace the blessings God has for you each day.

Father, thank you for the new life I can have in you each day.

“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.” (Romans 6:4)

“God put in Perry’s heart the service of the Marine Corps,” Congressman Todd Akin (R-Missouri) explained of his son’s life-long desire to be a Marine.