Jane Cook - Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan

“We had synergy. Our personalities matched our work ethics and motivations. It was an amazing team,” Malugani explained.

In the early months of her first tour (August 2004 to March 2005) Malugani served as the public affairs officer for the 1st Force Service Support Group (1st FSSG), which provided logistical support for more than 25,000 Marines and Sailors in al Anbar province. The job of Malugani’s team was to tell their story: internally through documentation and externally through reporters.

In October 2004 Malugani received the call from higher headquarters. Her team would push with the infantry unit into Fallujah. They spread throughout Regimental Combat Team 7 (RCT-7) and RCT-1 to assist about forty embedded reporters covering the battle. The insurgents had grossly inflated the number of civilian casualties during the stalled April push. Getting an accurate story out to the Iraqis and the rest of the world was even more important the second time around.

“I wanted to go and be with those Marines, my team, but I had to let them go and trust, all would be well,” Malugani said, noting that she watched battalion and unit movements from RCT-7 headquarters on the skirts of the city. And while she kept her eye closely on the situation reports that documented the names of casualties, Malugani stayed focus on doing her job with excellence.

“I admired how well the public affairs team seamlessly integrated into all these different facets of the Marine Corps ground, aviation, logistics operating with generals in one moment and then with little notice operating on the front lines with infantry lance corporals.”

The battle was block-by-block fighting Marines kicking in doors. One block might be filled with smoke from a full-scale battle while at the same time another might be calm, filled with Marines distributing food. Although it was hard letting her team go, the situation was beyond her control. She had to trust.

“You do your part and there’s just a higher power, a divine order. There is enough grace to deal with whatever comes next.”

Thank you for giving us the measure of grace we need, moment by moment.

“But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.” (Ephesians 4:7)

One of the greatest challenges for Captain Amy Malugani was mentally preparing for high alert situations. “Knowing that I had the capacity to do whatever it took to keep myself and someone else alive was difficult. I did have to provide security, but I didn’t have to fire my weapon personally, even though there were some close calls. Everyone has that instinct to protect themselves and those around them. Your defense mechanism kicks in,” she noted.

Battlefield realities reveal humanity’s primal state. Everyone wants to get out alive. Surprisingly, reality was sometimes better than expectations. “As my vehicle moved deeper into the city, I expected the stench to be overwhelming based on the death totals but to my dismay it was bearable.”

Sometimes reality was simply a matter of logistics and innovation. When the Marines raised the Iraqi and American flags in the city of Fallujah, there wasn’t a single investigative reporter around to capture the significant moment. A lieutenant used his mini DVD camera to film it. Unit by unit, they handed the recording back through the city in a wrapper from a ready-made-meal.

“Marines moved it from the center of the city to the logistics channel; I got it from the edge of the city and into headquarters. They used it in the press conference that night, and media outlets broadcasted it around the world.”

Sometimes the news media was abuzz with a different reality. A Los Angeles Times photographer captured a striking close-up of a Marine smoking a cigarette reminiscent of the Marlboro man commercials from decades past. Everyone wanted to know his name.

“This was a big deal back in the states. I was getting called to put a name with the famous face. It may appear simple; however reality proved otherwise in the midst of a battle with Marines on the move.”

“At other times reality was worse than expectations. Your brain doesn’t allow you to prepare for some things, such as suddenly being overwhelmed by a swarm of flies or a dog gnawing on a dead insurgent’s remains.

“You don’t allow yourself to imagine some of the sites you’re going to see. I’m a believer in being in the moment, being in the present. There’s always enough grace in the moment. It’s when I go into the past or into the future that anxiety or fear sets in. The grace is in the moment. I tapped into that a lot for strength and peace.”

Father, renew my heart. Help me to live in the present tense, trusting you for strength for whatever comes my way today.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

“The times I was scared they were the times I didn’t think I would be. The times I was relaxed were times people would think that I’d be scared.” These were the upside-down expectations that Captain Malugani had during the Battle of Fallujah in 2004.

She expected to be scared when she went on jump teams into Fallujah during the taking of the city, but she found calmness instead. “If I had to be any place, I would want to be with an infantry regiment. I was surrounded by a regimental combat team, hundreds of Marines. I felt very safe, protected. I felt surrendered to their expertise.” She also found strength in the experience of those around her.

“My colonel had more than twenty years in the military. I was with a gunner that had more than twenty years and a sergeant major who had more than twenty years. I had sixty years of experience with me every single day. With all that was going on in Iraq, it was not a safe place to be. But now with these three experienced Marines, I was in the safest place I could be.

“Early in my deployment, my mom asked me, ‘Are you safe?’”

“Well, it’s kind of relative, Mom. I’m in Iraq.”

During the Battle of Fallujah, Malugani found that she felt less safe during times of isolation in a tent that the Marines used for transient needs. “They put me in there because I was the only female with them. They were concerned for me, making sure I had space in a secure area. With no electricity and often rain beating down on the fifty-man tent, being alone was accompanied by irrefutable fear.”

She often longed to talk with her father, who had served as an Air Force paratroop rescuer in Vietnam because he would understand the things she was going through. Her grandfather served in the Army during World War II. Their service inspired Amy to join the military. Although she couldn’t always talk to her earthly fathers, she knew she could instantly turn to her heavenly father.

“When I would see things that were really challenging, I would remind myself that this is the now. I knew I would have an opportunity later, when there was time, to process what I was seeing as well as pray. I would remind myself that my expectations weren’t matching my reality and that was okay.”

Thank you for being a Father who is available to listen 24-7.

“About noon the following day as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray.” (Acts 10:9)