Jane Cook - Stories of Faith and Courage from the War in Iraq and Afghanistan

Later that day, I went running with a friend and we shared gratitude lists to pass the time. The first list the people we are grateful for in our lives. The second list gratitude for our bodies. The third list gratitude regarding the deployment. We used the alphabet to guide us. I was amazed at the length of my list, considering many challenges throughout the deployment and homesick many times. After the run, I view my current situation differently. The lists were evident reminders that I am exactly where I need to be. There is such comfort in accepting this perspective.

When I returned from Iraq last year (March 2005) I was uncomfortable overwhelmed with the daily life in the states. The simple life deployment seemed so comforting, safe, and easy. Ironic, considering I spent a significant period of time outside the base, and our base received incoming fire more times than I would like to remember. However, there was a sense of safety in the simple life. After several weeks in the states, I realized it wasn’t the deployment, but the people in my life and the choices I consciously made on a daily basis. I can have a simple life anywhere in the world, and I can ask God for help from anywhere for where I am he is there too.

A chaplain shared with me, “Instead of the simple life, how about a special life.” I came into this second deployment anticipating and expecting the simple life. Unfortunately, I was confronted with everything but the simple life. The chaplain’s words stuck with me. I don’t have control over the daily pressures, demands, and expectations of the world but I do have control over the way I respond. I can make my life as special as I want it’s my choice.

I choose to make today special, giving thanks to you for the gifts you’ve given me.

“He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.” (Romans 14:6)

Thanksgiving in Iraq was a bittersweet event. It is hard to be thankful when you are away from home. However a warm meal, good friends, and a good mission is as comforting as any soldier could ask for. As we walked into the DFAC there was a familiar face behind the serving line. The Colonel and the CSM were serving everyone and smiling from ear to ear.

The contract workers were getting a kick out of it. The commander and CSM didn’t miss an opportunity to thank each and every soldier that passed through the line. Later that evening, the Colonel and I were talking while puffing on a couple of cigars and I asked him if he enjoyed himself. He smiled and said, “You have no idea how thankful I am to be here, now, with these men and women. They’re the best people I have ever served with.”

A man of integrity, a man known as intrepid these terms are used by many to describe those who live in a manner above reproach. These are strong men and women with a moral bent for strength of character and justice. But beyond the public persona, the honor lies in their actions and motivations. The man with honor is seen for what he does for others and not for himself.

The Army values honor as a sacred virtue. Without it men are thrown by circumstance. Their decisions are based in self-centered vision instead of the outward concern for others. This is what makes a commander great in the eyes of his men. It is what motivates them to fight for him and sacrifice. It is truly a powerful thing.

Allow me to place others before my own interest. May my focus be on you, Father. Protect me from my own selfish pride, that through humility I may honor you by honoring others.

“The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” (Proverbs 15:3)

I was the Chief of Clinical Operations for Multinational Corps Iraq (MNC-I). A large part of my job was establishing policy and procedures for the coalition from a medical standpoint. It did provide me a theater-wide perspective. I reviewed the security updates and battle reports each day. But no matter how much perspective you have, at some point the war becomes personal.

It was 0500 hours. The sound was not what I remember most. The concussive blast seemed to take my breath away. The discomfort of awakening to the feeling of having the breath knocked out of you is a disheartening experience. I struggled to get my body armor as debris hit the sides and roof of my trailer. Then I had to consciously get up and out of the trailer. I remember thinking, “That was close; someone is probably hurt.”

We had received a lot of incoming rocket fire that week. Only a few days before, fifteen rockets had impacted the living area. When the Quick Reaction Force arrived at the point of origination they discovered almost seventy more rockets that had not yet fired. I didn’t know if more rockets were on their way, I just knew I needed to help if I could.

I did not have an aid bag at the time. It would not have mattered for the soldier who was killed. The trauma was devastating. After the attack, the command directed that pre-positioned medical supplies be put in the living areas and other areas with large numbers of people. All I really changed was that I made sure I carried with me at all times a pressure dressing and a tourniquet, basic life saving items. I can recall numerous occasions in the past when I forgot to have those things on my person at times; I always had them after the attack.

I came away with a couple of lessons from that experience. You take one day at a time; and there’s so much that happens that is outside of our control.

Lord, may I seek to know you better each day, not just when life goes well or life is hard. Lord, may I trust your sovereignty and control more each day, again whether life is going well or is hard.

“Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” (Hosea 6:3)

The call came from the command surgeon for Multinational Forces Iraq (MNF-I). All detainees came under his authority, and there was one that needed a couple of specialists. I kept the list of where all the doctors were and what their specialties were. The MNF-I doc asked me to locate two specialists. One needed to be an endocrinologist and the other was a cardiologist. I told him he was in luck because I was the only endocrinologist in theater and I could get a hold of the cardiologist. When I asked what it was about I was told that I would have to be briefed in person.

In my briefing I learned that I would be seeing Saddam Hussein. I ended up seeing him as a patient several times. I diagnosed him with primary hyper-aldosteronism from an adrenal mass. It was a logistical nightmare to get the testing supplies and samples out of theater, but I executed the task I had been given. I remained his endocrinologist while he was a prisoner.

I was torn with the idea of providing care for someone who was so evil. I read the battle reports daily and could not help but feel that so much of the death and destruction was on this man’s hands. It was hard to not let that emotional bias affect the way I treated him. It was difficult to reconcile internally, but I decided that I had to treat him as I would any other human. I had to be consistent in my approach even when dealing with such evil. It was ultimately empowering to my faith to know that I treated him no differently though he had given this country nothing but evil.